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Sons aledgedly affair.

(27 Posts)
Nanawind Thu 30-Nov-17 13:24:43

Advice needed please do I say something to him or not.
My DD was out with friends and lots of drink was involved one of her friends who works in the same building as DS made a comment about him seeing someone, another girl told her to shut up and keep out of it. This happened at the beginning of summer and at the time DH and I thought DS and his wife were having problems.
I was only told this information yesterday as DD has heard rumours again. Every time we have seen DS and our DIL now they seem very close problems early in the year seem to be gone.
I haven't told DH as it might just be gossip from before do I say something or ignore it.
Sorry I seem to ramble so upset thinking of DGS and DGD and how much it would hurt them if they split up.

Bathsheba Sun 03-Dec-17 22:08:38

The thing is, if you're so upset thinking about your DGS and DGD and how much it would hurt them if they split up, then why would you do anything to trigger that happening?
Say nothing, do nothing, just keep your fingers crossed that they'll sort out their problems. It's hard, but there really is no other way.

nannyof4 Sun 03-Dec-17 21:16:51

Thankyou Nanawind.

Nanawind Sat 02-Dec-17 21:59:29

DD = darling daughter
DS = darling son
DIL = Daughter in law

nannyof4 Sat 02-Dec-17 21:49:50

I know what DIL means but what is DD and DS and DD all refer to please.

Nanawind Sat 02-Dec-17 20:36:25

Thank you for all your support, I feel as though I need it at the moment. No I would never inform DIL re rumours. Too much gossip going around.
DD is close to her brother if at the right time comes along she might mention it to her brother but like me doesn't want to rock the boat re their marriage. Silly boy.

M0nica Sat 02-Dec-17 17:50:08

Gossip is often after the news. As you say your DS and DDiL did seem to have problems but now seem close. This could be old news that has hung around.

When I was young, single and working I heard rumours that I was meant to be going out with a senior member of staff, I had done, briefly but by the time the rumours started it had been over for months.

Starlady Sat 02-Dec-17 17:40:32

Glad you're staying out of it, Nana. DS is not a kid and doesn't need his mum questioning how he runs his life. Besides, as others have said, it might not even be true. Then you would just be in hot water for nothing!

Jalima1108 Fri 01-Dec-17 20:17:57

But no-one - absolutely no-one should mention it to your DIL!

Jalima1108 Fri 01-Dec-17 20:16:59

On the other hand, it wouldn't hurt for his sister to let him know that people are talking, would it?

Sisters can get away with so much more than mothers are able to!

luckyrose62 Fri 01-Dec-17 19:29:59


Esspee Fri 01-Dec-17 18:52:35

Luckyrose, I think you have misread the OP. Nanawind is the mother of the male in this marriage and I agree with everyone else that she should keep schtum on the subject of her son's possible infidelity. It is never a good idea to get involved in offspring's marriages.

luckyrose62 Fri 01-Dec-17 16:43:36

Yes stay out of it but try and drop hints that most women have a secret escape fund. My DD hubby ran up debts and then went off with another woman , divorce is pricey. So she needs to squirrel away some money just in case. I don't know how you can broach the subject unless you encourage her to set up accounts in her and the grandchildrens name without him being on the account. It's probably all gossip or innocent flirting.

Elrel Thu 30-Nov-17 20:41:34

It may have been nothing or a fling which has petered out. As PPs have said you're best staying well clear. DD is right.

lemongrove Thu 30-Nov-17 20:30:29

agree with others, say nothing,it may be all rubbish anyway.

Coolgran65 Thu 30-Nov-17 19:38:11

Nanawind It is so hard but you must abide by the rule of a mother...... nose out and mouth zipped.
One of the hardest things ever to have to do.

Nanawind Thu 30-Nov-17 18:56:43

Thank you everyone for replying, I will try and as DD says keep my nose out. She has said like you all that we could cause more harm than good.
So with that advice that's what I will do. xx

Nanabilly Thu 30-Nov-17 18:06:01

No matter how much you want to know if it's true or not keep out of it as others have said. If you say anything it could damage your relationship.
If he comes to you for advice about it at any time then let him know that you already know. Your daughter might want to have a chat with him though. If they have a close relationship that is.
Try not to worry about the gc and try not to read signs of if they are seeming close or about to split when you see them. They could just be having or had a row like we all do at times.

midgey Thu 30-Nov-17 18:01:35

Agree with everyone else, leave well alone. Afraid it’s not your business.

Luckygirl Thu 30-Nov-17 17:57:37

Mum's the word!

Fennel Thu 30-Nov-17 17:12:30

Don't get involved. Full Stop.

Jalima1108 Thu 30-Nov-17 16:26:11

Say nothing.
If your DD wants to bring it up with her brother then that is up to her but it is just hearsay.

nanaK54 Thu 30-Nov-17 15:59:39


Do your best to put this out of your mind

Ilovecheese Thu 30-Nov-17 15:40:59

Don't say anything.
It might not be true.
If is is true, whatever you say to him will not make any difference.

NotTooOld Thu 30-Nov-17 15:26:23

Definitely leave well alone, I'd say. There's lots go on in our adult children's lives we know nothing about (remember when you were that age?) and you could very easily have got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

mammabear Thu 30-Nov-17 13:43:19

Leave well alone, the messenger always gets shot!

Gossip -"Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true".

Please try and ignore gossip, it may be from before and they have worked through their problems and moved on.