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New grandchild

(34 Posts)
trish29 Mon 29-Jan-18 13:56:23

Is it better to gift money for new grandchild or to buy pram or cot or other item required?

harrigran Wed 31-Jan-18 09:58:41

I too had a second hand pram gilly and cot and carry cot, when my baby was 5 months old the person that gave me them came and asked for them back as she got pregnant herself. MIL got a cot from one of her younger sisters and no sooner had we repainted it when the message came back that she was pregnant again. It was like living in a game of pass the parcel.

gillybob Wed 31-Jan-18 09:43:59

When I had my son in 1980 I had nothing. His pram was a horrible donated 10th hand??? Worn out old brown jallopy of a thing . I hated it and felt quite embarrassed pushing it around when everyone seemed to have lovely new modern prams . My own fault for getting pregnant at 18 . Wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. So glad young single parents get more help these days .

Fellowfeeling8 Wed 31-Jan-18 07:24:10

When our first grandchild was born we renovated the pram we had had for our two girls, a lovely coachbuilt Marmet one, at some effort and expense. I think it was used about three times. The modern mum does not walk miles with the pram like we did. For our latest grandchild born in November we bought a car seat and Isofix gadget for the car. The parents bought the pram. Incidentally luckily they chose by weight. My daughter still has backache caused by the pregnancy and lifting a heavy pram into the car boot would be difficult for her. Wishing you all every happiness with the new arrival when it comes.

Morgana Tue 30-Jan-18 22:54:19

D.D. very careful with money and bought almost everything second hand. We put money into bank accounts for the children. Their 'college fund' I call it.

Quarndonshorts1 Tue 30-Jan-18 18:05:17

I bought the nappies whilst the grandchildren were wearing them.

Legs55 Tue 30-Jan-18 17:17:00

For DGS1 (now nearly 8) we gave DD & her OH money & bought various things they wanted, mostly clothes & towels. They were really struggling financially, think we also bought the baby bouncer & a soft toy (horse as DH loved Horse Racing).

DGS2 (9 months) I bought a baby swing & gave DD vouchers I had earned doing surveys. I also bought a few items of of clothing as a surprise. Also got a soft toy, ginger cat this time as I have a ginger cat. Financially they are much better off & bought some new items, now he is growing she has bought a really good high-chair (second hand), everything is sold when DGS has outgrown them.

Definitely better to let parents choose what they want even if you go shopping with them, I wouldn't have had a cluehmm

Hm999 Tue 30-Jan-18 15:49:33

Recycling is brilliant, but don't buy a 2nd hand car seat.

Hm999 Tue 30-Jan-18 15:47:11

Ask them in terms of 'I'd like to buy the ...', can we go out together and look.
Useful hints here e.g. height of pram to make it easy on parents' backs.

My mum bought a pram for no. 1 grandchild, then it did my sister's 3 and came back to me for my second. Wonder if you get that John Lewis quality now, 30yrs later.

Willow500 Tue 30-Jan-18 15:40:15

Aw congratulations gillybob what a wonderful 'shock' for you grin For our first granddaughter we bought the pram (chosen by DIL) but I can't remember what we did for the second one - it was 16 years ago! I think we gave money to the little ones born in NZ - as they have older cousins there was nothing they needed. My parents bought my pram and in laws bought the cot - much as I wanted a big coach built pram we only had a little 2 up 2 down and they were very out of fashion anyway in 1971 so I had a turquoise lift off top one - my friend's was purple smile

Saggi Tue 30-Jan-18 15:23:19

TGAts ‘pram’ ...not lean! Wrong glasses on!!

Saggi Tue 30-Jan-18 15:22:40

I gave my daughter and son in law £500 to get a lean.... my mother ...the new child’s great-grannie gave them money for the cot... it was her last grandchild No. 10... she saw him and held him and we photographed the event.She died three months later at 92.!!! So pleased with herself for seeing No. 10 grandchild.What a woman she was!

newnanny Tue 30-Jan-18 13:12:21

I bought my 1st dgs cot, mattress, chest of drawers, wardrobe and changing unit and also high chair as my ds and Sil had just bought their house so most of their savings spent. My ex husband bought them travel system and her in laws gave money some of which they spent on two car seats so not having to change between cars. They also spent some on animal shapes for his bedroom.Their 2nd baby is due in August and I shall give £560 which I recall was value of what 1st dgs got and they can choose to spend it on them or save it for them whichever they choose.I a just glad we can afford to be generous as my ds only gets statutory maternity pay and will take 1 year at home when baby born.

NannyTee Tue 30-Jan-18 12:17:54

Some pram styles these days make me do a double take. CRAZY !!!

gillybob Tue 30-Jan-18 12:16:17

We were all shocked ( and very happy) to learn of DD’s pregnancy ( over 6 months pregnant when she found out) . So much to do and buy in the short time before the little one arrives in early May. I recently accompanied DD and her partner ( still in a state of shock) to look at Travel systems to suit their lifestyle . Then I ordered and paid for what they chose . Best all round I think . For my DS’s 3 I bought cot beds, Moses baskets,bedding, changing set etc. All chosen by them .
There’s nothing like a Mothercare “fix” to lift the spirits . smile

JackyB Tue 30-Jan-18 12:15:02

Our DGD will be three next week. DS and DiL live in a very small flat and are very environment-conscious. They have, quite sensibly, said that they want no new toys or clothes for the little one and have opened a bank account for her.

I may get her a small book or something which can be used up (bubble bath - but only in a recyclable container!), but we shall gladly put some money into the bank for her.

Both my DiL's have cousins with babies a little older than theirs, so we never had to even consider prams or larger items when they were born.

So, in answer to the OP - seen from all angles, I would say that money is the best present. If it is explicitly needed for a cot or a pram, you can specify that when you give it to them, but I would never want to dictate to the new parents what kind of a cot or pram to buy. I wouldn't have liked it if my mother had done the same to me!

silverlining48 Tue 30-Jan-18 12:00:52

This reminds me of the birth of our first grandchild 8 years ago and thought i would pop into JL and have a look. I saw a few costing around £100 which was ok, until i realised i had missed a zero, and they actually were ten times as much. I was in shock and very relieved when dd got one second hand ( which still cost £300!)
It was supposed to be the rolls royce of prams but dh and i hated it, so awkward to collapse or unfold.
We got one for us on freecycle which was easier to manage and didnt cost us anything.
And dont get me on to the car seats.....grrr. Total Nightmare. Or was it just us....?

luluaugust Tue 30-Jan-18 11:30:58

The DC were so good about passing prams etc around among themselves we usually ended up with either buying the crib or first cot, I think we contributed towards the very first pram.

Silverlining47 Tue 30-Jan-18 10:55:34

My son and DiL were quite specific when I asked what they'd like. It was a very stylish wooden high chair that converted into a chair for the child up to teenage size. Danish I think. I think they wanted something that had an modern 'heirloom' quality that they wouldn't have bought for themselves but was essentially useful. They asked for the same when the second gc was born.

NannyTee Tue 30-Jan-18 10:45:45

Congratulations. With all of my 8 DGC. I bought the crib with stand . It's a ritual now . grin

jenwren Tue 30-Jan-18 10:44:43

I offered to get a Mothercare voucher so that they could get what they want and it was rejected. They would prefer the cash so that they could buy a cot mattress from Mamas and Papas,so I asked how much they would like. £175.00! wow to some it might not be a lot but to me, it is as I am a single pensioner. My son,s father and stepfather I know will be more than generous when my new grandchild is born. In the same month, I have another two grandchildren's birthdays and son. I do budget for birthdays but was taken aback when the amount was said. So for my own future reference, I won't ask the question. Better start filing for bankruptcy now hehe

glammanana Tue 30-Jan-18 10:42:58

We have two new babies due this year one in April one in May,DGS and his wife are expecting their 2nd baby so they are upgrading their travel system to a double one (dont ask me to push it please)
DS1 and his wife are expecting a baby girl in May and they have been and chosen their own travel system,so we will give a gift voucher towards any nursery furniture I would never dream of choosing for them.

Lindylou57 Tue 30-Jan-18 10:26:41

I would either give a gift voucher or money. Thats what my daughter asked for when she had her baby. Who by the way is now 5 months old! Where has the time gone......

Nelliemoser Tue 30-Jan-18 10:11:10

I bought a second hand big pram in 1977 and sold it for the same price about three years later. Similar with a Maclaren striped double push chair. Good value.
My daughter used a baby sling nearly all the time with GS2.

Teddy123 Tue 30-Jan-18 10:03:29

I would give John Lewis gift card ....

grandMattie Tue 30-Jan-18 09:51:51

Ask the parents?