In what ways are you like your mother?

My mother was so kind and patient, and very wise. I adored her. She had such a hard young life and was treated badly but it never made her bitter or cruel. I became her companion and aide in her later life until she died and it was an honour and a privilege to care for her. She never grumbled or complained and she didn't have a bad word to say about anyone. She liked to laugh, saw the funny side of things and there was always a silver lining in any difficult situation. I am not nearly as nice as she was. I don't think anybody could be. I have her strength and optimism and also like to laugh. I am very easy going as she was. My children, her grandchildren, adored her. I miss her every day.

I know I look like my mum, and our daughter is like me, so strong genetic trait through the female side, but I do so hope that I have inherited all her loving nature, generosity, common sense, and resourcefulness.

There’s not a physical resemblance that I can see but others say they do. She was a bit of a perfectionist, disliked loud noise and crowds, loved the sea, the garden and children, was impatient with illness. I have those traits although overall she had more patience than I do right now. Also I’m told I have a heap of common sense as she had. I do hear some of her words coming from my mouth and often cringe inwardly.

I would be extremely sad and disappointed if anyone thought I was like my mother in anyway. She was cold, self centred, racist, didn’t like children, shouldn’t have had any children, had no interest in her grandchildren, a hypochondriac, critical, and made my lovely dads life difficult.

I'm sorry storynanny and others who found their mothers difficult to like and love.
I heard a good sermon on Mothers Day last year about forgiving our mothers for the areas where they fell short. I hadn't thought about Mothers Day in that way before.

I'm nothing like my mother but I wish I was more like her, both in looks and temperament.

Not a bit like my mother who was an inveterate worrier which I am not. And, sadly, I am now four years older than she ever was.

Not a bit like my mother who was an inveterate worrier which I am not. And, sadly, I am now four years older than she ever was.

Not to be like one's mother, is not a criticism. It is merely a statement of fact. We are all a chance combination of the genes of both our parents and the interplay between parent and child as well as outside influences all go to affect our adult persona. I have inherited features and personality traits that my maternal grandmother had, but which my mother did not have. However I look far more like my father's family and as I did not have the difficult childhood my mother had, do not have the fears and anxieties that shaped her life.

I’m not like my mother at all and she has always favoured her third child who is most like her in personality and looks. I take after my father’s side of the family and my mother has acknowledged over the years that it is a good job that I do as I have been able to cope with all that life has thrown at me and give her the support that she needed.

I’m more like my father, but my DM was a very strong woman and I like to think I am too. I’m more of a hands on grandma, more sentimental in many ways and less stubborn. I really wish I were more like her physically, as she was petite, with the most beautiful green eyes and thick dark hair. I’ve inherited none of that!

I catch sight of her in my mirror sometimes, but apart from that I have tried very hard to be nothing like my mother! I never felt loved whilst she doted on my brother, even though I was the one who did everything I could for her. I have tried especially to be completely fair towards my daughters and GCs, remembering how much I felt hurt by her. Fortunately my father was a wonderful Dad, so I hope I have inherited some of his character traits.

It's strange as I am nothing like my mum to look at - she was much shorter than me and a different build and I definitely have my father's nose and yet I often glance in the mirror nowadays and see her looking back at me. Temperament wise I think I'm more like my dad too - she was often depressed and luckily I'm always optimistic. She wasn't adventurous at all which I'm not and was afraid of change like me but she was fun loving, loved company and everyone even now speaks of her with great affection. She would have been 98 yesterday In all I'm a mix of the pair of them I suspect.

The one thing I do inherit from my mother, is her feminism. Not that she realised she was a feminist. She was brought up in an entirely femle household (her father died in WW1): that consisted of her mother, sister, grandmother and aunt and my grandmother was certainy feminist in all her attitudes, so DM just absorbed it and brought up her family of girls to just assume that the world was their oyster. That sense of entitlement to be treated equally in any situation has been the greatest gift she could give have given her daughters.

I have spent my life trying not to be like my Mother unfortunately I look like her!!!

I look exactly like her and there the resemblance ends. I think that she is part of the reason I became the best mother and grandmother I could be instead of being like her

I am like my mother in build, looks and many other ways. We both like a glass (or 2) of prossecco. Love our children and Grandchildren (and in my Mothers case GGC also) unconditionally. She was loved and admired by all who met her. She died 12 days after Mothering Sunday last year. Our hearts are still grieving for her, and it was a privilege to have her live with us for the last 5 months of her life. She was my sisters and mine dearest friend ????

My mother was kind and loving. She was into gardening, sewing, knitting and cookery which are also my favourite pastimes. On the other hand she let my Father treat her like a doormat and frequently belittle her. Unfortunately I took after her and let my husband control and emotionally abuse me for many years. I wish she'd had the courage to stand up to him and set me (as a child) a better example.

My sister who's a lot younger then me used to refer to me as a second Mum. I do resemble our mother somewhat.

She was an excellent money manager, as am I (I hope) and she never interfered in the lives of her adult children unless asked. Both my parents were sociable and friendly and had a large and varied social circle. I think DH and I do the same.

Nowadays though, I see from photographs that in fact I resemble my grandmother and occasionally I see both grandmothers in photos of me.

Like M0nica, my mum was a feminist without knowing the word. Still sometimes I hear 'oh women weren't brought up to be sporty'. Well no-one told my mother or 2 of my aunts, who swam, cycled and ran competitively.
Mainly my mother, and her female relatives valued education, and plain speaking. I remember a friend telling my mum she was embarrassed to go to the doctor about something. My mum said that had led to a lot of women suffering and dying - we should not be embarrassed about our bodies, we should get proper advice about taking care of ourselves. She taught me about sex in a very straightforward way.
Some years after she died, in my nursing capacity I examined a young woman who had a very serious perineal infection - so bad I was urgently worried. She had been embarrassed to see any doctor, and was now refusing to see a male one. I felt that it was so urgent that we had no choice- and it was beyond my capacity to deal with. She had no close female relative available, so I sat beside her, held her hand, and said ' If I was in your situation, my mother would have told me to see any qualified person who could help me get better'. It worked and we got her treated.
I felt angry & sad that she hadn't had a mother who could speak plainly to her

My mother was very independent-minded as well as being family-orientated.
I hear of other women who were born in the early 1900s who voted exactly as their husbands told them - not my DM! Not that she wasted time arguing with DF, she just got on and decided for herself over a lot of issues.
I hope I'm the same.

Mothers - do we become who we are because of them or despite them?
Either way, for me the main thing is to “pay it on” to our daughters’ generation, the frequent worries and fears maybe even the high expectations, but most of all the unconditional love.

I think that is true. As a child I was probably far more like my father than my mother, but I think as we become older, most of us get closer to, and more similar to our same sex parent.

After Mum died, I started to organise the funeral (I am the oldest sibling) and my young sister said "you're doing what Mum would have done.

I can see my OH getting more like his Dad, who was a lovely old man.

My mother liked housework.I most certainly do not.I think I am more like my MiL.Perhaps that's why DH married me !

Ii would disagree. I am my father's child, whether I like it or not.