Son in law’s parents.

maybe some mothers of daughters should remember that if it weren't for the SIL and his parents there wouldn't be a baby to fight over.It does take TWO and the number of mums of Daughters on here who think they should have preferential treatment is astounding .Of course the SIL's parents wanted to see the baby ,its their flesh and blood too.

Yes Nonnie I agree. She was vry forgiving with them and they are her DH's parents and the grandparents of her own daughter and she didn't want conflict. We love our son-in-law and only want what's best for them at the end of the day. Life's too short for conflict, although I appreciate that it's not always easy.

I’m very lucky that my dil is wonderful, and always makes sure that I don’t feel like the ‘number 2 grandma’. I don’t doubt that for emotional support etc she’s more inclined to turn to her own mum - completely natural in my opinion. But when it comes to grandparenting time, we are both treated equally, as are my ex-husband and his wife.

My son's in-laws live very close to them but also in a different country to me. When our first GS was born I was on the first flight I could get. I had hardly put my suitcase down when the other Granny handed me the baby and whenever I am there she makes sure I have lots of time with them. What a star she is !
I do find myself keeping quiet at times when our way of doing things differ but that is just that - my ways are different not better.

The last thing your daughter and son in law need at this time is conflict between the in-laws.
Back off a little and let the couple manage on their own now that the baby is older. I can't see that their behaviour is that terrible; irritating maybe, but they care for their grandchild as much as you do.

KatyK good for her, wish there were more like her around and then we wouldn't see all these people cut off from their families. Surely everyone can give a little?

Our daughter's in-laws caused all sorts of problems on their son's marriage to our DD. We tried our best to include them but they sulked and ignored everyone at the wedding. The MIL was rude to me when I tried to speak to her on the day and she had a massive row with DD afterwards, calling her and us all sorts. That was a few years ago and my DD gets on with them now and has helped them in lots of ways. They should think themselves lucky

In all honesty I dont understand why both mothers aren't given time ,..they ARE both grandmothers its irrelevant whether the're paternal or maternal and your DD has to understand its her husbands mother and try to include her in their life too.As HER mother you should be trying to show her that is not wise or kind to exclude any GP ..ok they dont do things the way YOU do and you're her mum but isn't marriage about TWO families blending ?

Totally agree with MissA. We have to realise that we are only getting one side of this story and the other side might see it rather differently.

I'm going to sit on the fence and see if there might be another explanation/interpretation for some of the things you mention.

Wanting to be involved in the wedding is perfectly normal, especially if they were contributing to the costs. In my case the soon to be DiLs made sure I was involved in some ways. Shutting them out would, of course, cause problems.

Giant balloon, how big? Some people like to give big balloons for celebrations and many would not see this as a problem (unless they were looking for one).

I would think it would be normal to want to see the baby, why should one grandparent see more of the baby than another? Does a maternal grandmother have more 'rights' than the paternal one?

Mothers of daughters do you accept that your SiL will be closer to his own mum than you?

Of course I don't have the direct experience you have but, reading between the lines, and knowing how often DiLs put barriers between their DH and his family I do think there may be another side to your story.

I think you could go out of your way to improve this situation. Do you really want this to continue? Does it have to be one of you winning and the other losing? Couldn't you be a bit kinder and welcoming?

I am very fortunate to have such loving and generous DiLs who welcome me and want me to have a good relationship with them. I am even lucky enough to be very friendly with one DiL's mother who lives in Europe and comes to stay with us for holidays.

I have a daughter / son in law, and a son / ex partner . So I have two sets of in-laws and I tread carefully with all of them since we share our grandchildren and I never want to jeopardize that relationship. No matter how unreasonable these people are, they are always going to be there in your life since you share grandchildren, so my advise would be to tread carefully and don't make waves with any of them. Good luck !

MissA is right and there are very similar stories exactly the other way around . Far too many to be honest.

I consider myself to be very fortunate. Whilst I have very little in common with my DDiL's parents and we don't socialise, we get on well enough and all have our children and our shared grandchildren's best interests at heart.

You'd be amazed at the sounds of eggshells crunching as in laws, as well as family, tiptoe around on them.