Sleepovers

Since I posted, labazs has made a lot of sense too.

I don’t think there is any need for a sleepover if they live nearby unless it is an emergency. I use to have mine over but only in ones or twos and to be honest I was on my knees when they went home, totally washed out. We also took them away for short breaks and found that so much easier.

I found your post very sad Woodstock. You can ‘value your peace’ any old day but if they ask and you say no for that reason I feel you’re missing a real opportunity to build memories for them .

Kids sleep anywhere , on anything , that’s part of the excitement . You only need have one at a time , and if you only have them once a year , that’s only 6 nights out of 365 .

The time will quickly arrive where they won’t want to come for a sleepover, so I would say’ grasp the nettle’ and give it a go. You may be surprised to find you like it.

My youngest grandaughter comes to stay once a week, every friday, and its the highlight of my week. Now, I'm not saying she's not exhausting, she's a loud 6 yr old, and I do only have the one bed flat, my partner sleeps on the sofa and my GD stays in the bed with me. We talk, and laugh, and have our biscuits and milk, and I end up feeling like a kid again. I can't do all the babysitting, as my grandson is only a baby and he is in and out of hospital atm so my daughter is on long term leave, but my time with my GD is making the kind of memories I hope she remembers forever. Of course your home is your sanctuary, and if the parents keep asking you, then have a quiet word, its not like you don't help out. But don't rule it out completely if its your GC asking, because they must really love you and want to spend time with you. x Hope you work it out!

Explain to your children why you are not going to have their children sleep over. Make sure they understand you love them all and are there for them in every other way.
You should not be made to feel guilty about this.

I felt quite sad at reading your post. I have always had my grandchildren to stay fairly regularly since they were babies and they often ask when they can come for a sleepover. I love having them, but I am fortunate that they can have a bedroom each when they stay - but if I didn't they would be very happy to sleep in sleeping bags on the floor!! We have a great time playing games going for walks etc., and my DC can enjoy a night out knowing the children are happy and safe.

However it is your home and your decision. Can the children stay with other grandparents.

Putting aside the fact that you only have one bedroom, my view is that if you don't want to do it, you shouldn't be pressured into it.
The fact that so many other grandparents enjoy it is irrelevant - you know your own feelings and I don't think for one minute that you would miraculously find that those feelings would change if you were to give in to the pressure!

I do have my two occasionally (two bedrooms makes easier from that angle) , but still find it very hard work, even though they are now school age, so can appreciate your reluctance.

Of course, only having one bedroom is a very good argument anyway, and I think you should stick to your guns.

Your grandchildren won’t mind that your place is small, they will love being with you. As a previous poster said, popcorn and a film is a real pleaser. But you must do what is right for you.

I can only say that I wish my GC were allowed to do sleepovers. My DS and DD used to love staying with my parents. They only had one bed and the children used to argue over whose turn it was to sleep on the floor cos they thought it was fun.

If it's something you don't want to do, then don't give in and do it.

When you value something, being your home, your peace of mind etc. then treasure and protect those things.

I have never been asked to have mine overnight, and I don't think I'd want to. I am a person who needs my downtime and I simply cannot function socially first thing in the morning or late at night.

If you really don't want grandchildren sleeping over, or feel you cant cope...dont do it. Its not 'part of being a nannie'. Its something some of us like to do. Maybe the children want to spend some time with you on your own. I do sleepovers (occasionally!!, it doesn't have to be a regular thing), but find that my two youngest children aged 3 and 5 want me on 'sleepovers' at their house. This is easier as everything they need is there. I have some toys here, but not the mountainous amount they have at there own house, and they also have their own beds. The parents then come and stay at my house after their night out. They love it too because they get a bit of piece and a lie in!Would this be an option for you? Its tiring, but fun, and older grandchildren are a lot easier!

Nanandgrampy that’s exactly as I feel yes it does put me out and yes I do lose my peace and quiet but do I want them to grow up thinking Nana was a quiet peaceful person, or do I want them to say Blimey we must have caused a mess poor old Nan but what fun we had
My peace and quiet and tidy house however small will always be secondary to my grandkids and if I m lucky enough to ever have, great grandkids
I m not knocking you Woodstock if you feel you cant manage then you shouldn’t have to but I feel sad that youre missing so much fun and it might just might be worth a try

Of course you should not feel pressured into doing something that you really don’t want to do, but do explain your reasons to the GC’s plus their parents so that there are no misunderstandings. I personally absolutely love having all 5 of my GC here and am lucky to have a big house and an acre of land for them all to romp in ! They are aged 9 to 16 so do not need too much supervision these days either. I get them to make their own pizzas too and they love it. If space is limited could they safely make a “camp” under your dining room table, sleeping bags etc ? Lots of food for thought in these posts, but just go with what feels good for you.

Little flat but I still find having my granddaughter to stay is wonderful. I honestly think you're missing out.

My children loved sleepovers at their grandparents home even though it was literally over the road I only have one GC and I love having him stay over sadly he doesn't seem to want to do this so much now he is coming up to 13 however I'm soon to become a grandma for a second time I can't wait for sleepovers to start again my mother's favourite saying was you get plenty of peace and quiet when you're dead

Just tell them you don't have the room but you would be happy to an occasional sleepover at their's if needed.

'We didn't get much sleep, but we had a lot of fun in Grandma's feather bed.' It's a John Denver song, Maggiemaybe, at least it's on an album of his.

I understand that the Ops small 1 bed flat wouldn't be ideal and none of us know how much furniture she has. It may not be feasible to have an airbed in the sitting room. As she has more than 1 grandchild several may want to visit together, especially siblings.
We don't know their ages or how well behaved they are. I personally wouldn't accept GC running around indoors, slamming doors or jumping on the sofa which is often what happens when there are 2 or more.
I think the OP likes things just so and a polite 'I'm afraid I can't' and citing the reasons, would suffice. She already does babysitting and pick-ups.
It might be an option for them to visit for tea (a treat/food she knows they like) and walking the dog somewhere the GC can run around with a ball.
Because my GC are older and live over 100 mikes away, I book a place via airbnb and I don't have to change sheets/towels and we can enjoy a few days in different areas each time.
Most places are simply stunning...and cheap. We've stayed on a house boat, in an artists house in Edinburgh, in York and on the South Coast. They love it and it's only twice a year.

Sorry: miles.

If it is so their parents have a night free then perhaps you should ask them about it and arrange to babysit at their house instead? Then all the mess stays there and you can enjoy your grandchildren without having your own home turned upside down. I have always had my grandchildren to stay since my eldest grandson was a few weeks old so I would miss them very much if they stopped - I just got them into a routine at my house (had to as I was still working full time when my grandchildren were born, I retired two years ago).

Woodstock.You clearly do not have the space for a sleepover that would accommodate even half that amount of your six grandchildren.You are already helping out in other ways so do not feel any obligation to do what other grandparents may do.

Re taking DGC away for a break. Ours are young yet, but it’s something we do look forward to doing. However, we were in the Museum of London recently, saying how great it would be to take all four boys there as part of a weekend in London, when round the corner charged a whooping, leaping group of four boys, followed by two shell-shocked grandparents who looked about 90, but were probably only in their sixties.... We decided we might need a parent or two along as well.

Dear Woodstock. You may be a grandmother but you are also a woman and a human being. You are quite within your rights to refuse to do anything you are not comfortable with. You have made a compromise you'll be happy to stay at grandchildrens house but don't think your place is suitable. That is fine. That is perfectly understandable. Do not make any more reasonings, excuses or beat your self up. That's not your problem now. The parents can sort it out. You have made your very reasonable point and that is it. Over to the parents. Get your dog, go for a walk, have a coffee and listen to music or watch something. This is NOT your problem. My grandchildren stay over when I choose and when is suitable for me but I have a spare room. Good Luck in being kind to you.

You must do what is best for you because if you don't enjoy it the children will pick up on that and won't enjoy it either.
I just wish my grandchildren lived near enough to come for sleepovers more often. I would happily share my bed or sleep on the sofa if necessary. The boys are 9 and 10 and when I stay at their houses they love it if their parents go out so they have an evening with Nanny. We get popcorn and snacks and curl up on the sofa to watch films. They grow up so fast I feel you need to make the most of the time with them. I now have a small granddaughter so looking forward to starting all over again.