Fear of Aging

There is a great deal of wise thoughts and good advice from other posters. However I do wonder if the really fundamental question is the existential issue of facing of our own mortality and the recognition that no matter how terrific we are and what we do our time in this life is limited. I am conscious at times of feeling envious of youth. I consider myself to have been very blessed in life and dearly love my family and my life but find this all ending hard to face.
I am greedy for life and all the things I will miss - the future selves of my beloved children and grandchildren. New knowledge and discoveries, natural beauty and so much more. However I do try take the view that ageing is a privilege denied to many and that it sure beats the alternative.

One advantage - to me anyway - is that I no longer give a toss what anyone else thinks.

Will just mention vitamin D - as mentioned elsewhere I've been taking a fairly high dose since feeling very tired/run down and then wiped out with a horrible bug a few weeks ago. Was the same at the end of last winter - April both times, so can't help putting 2 and 2 together.
Do feel a lot better since starting vit D3 - since we eat a good diet I had rarely bothered with vitamins before.

I never worried about getting old...then suddenly found it had happened! I am still puzzled how it can be so difficult to bend down and then get up again, and how quickly I get tired
I do now admire my mother and mother-in-law, who both remained active well into their nineties. I think their secret must have been their deprived childhoods.

fear can be debilitating. for me the answer is to look at the "worst case scenario", then make a plan for it, then i know i'm ready for "if and when", which means I can forget about it and get on with the fun things.
eg, i have recurring bouts of a long-standing illness. so i have a box packed with everything i need when the "attack" occurs: instant food, long life juice, loo rolls, emergency antiobotics - anything it'd be a disaster to have just run out of, plus a few treats for when i'm able, like books to read, etc. if you face your fear and prepare for it, then you can really take all the good advice on here and get back to enjoying your life.
ps: after any illness you need to treat yourself to a few favourite things to cheer yourself up.

There is much good advice here, Mancunianma. I felt very much like you at the beginning of last year. But at the time had a disabled husband who had begun to have frequent falls. The car on which we relied packed up and I was forced into getting another one. I tried to do what my mother used to say “count your blessings”! I made myself keep up with friends and family and kept going as a school Governor. My husband tried to keep independent, we got a stair lift, Zimmer frames and when Spring came he used his mobility scooter. Things felt better. I think it’s best to try to take a day at a time, put in the odd treat - coffee and cake - a new blouse/whatever. By the way I’m 88, my DH has just passed away, strangely I don’t feel as depressed as last year, he’s at peace and I’ve got a lovely family. I hope you can find a good place to be and look forward to some happy years.

Oh that meaningless old saying that ageing's better than the alternative! I'm not scared of being dead, which is simply ceasing to exist, but what am scared of is the process, which is why I'm an enthusiastic supporter of Assisted Dying. If you're old but still having fun and contributing to the world, age doesn't matter. If you're doubly incontinent and losing your marbles, then death should be offered as a treatment, as it would be to an animal in a similar state.

These posts are so cheering! I suppose it's all to do with how we look at things. I am generally a pessimist but it helps to read more cheerful peoples views.

Be glad your alive at 71! Millions don't make it to your age. I know of 3 people who have died in the last few years who were much younger. My hairdresser was 47 and dropped dead in her salon. Another old friend from years ago died in her sleep at the age of 49. Recently my husband unexpectedly passed away at the the of 60. I think that sums it up.

Putting it bluntly. Visiting any. cemetery will put that Into perspective as it’s full of young people who would love to trade with you

You say that you are suffering from depression and I would guess that this is colouring your whole view of life. It’s difficult to look forward with any positivity when all you want to do is pull the duvet over your head and let life happen. I really hope you get the help you need whether it’s medication or counselling. Good luck ?

Get some tats, and/or piercings and kick up your heels!
(Says she whose every day is a struggle against arthritis). Do all the things you wished you had the courage when younger, and don’t give a hoot about what people think.

I’m 66, mostly retired except for a bit of casual work doing Invigilation, and am just happy to be over the hill rather than under it ! I have lost friends along the way and when something lovely happens with the one of my grandchildren, I always think of friends who are not around to witness joy with their families. Have made my bucket list for my “ autumnal years” and am having immense fun working my way through it .... travelling, white water rafting, parascending etc none of us know what life has in store, so we just have to grab everything while we still can. Have fun !

I think it all depends on your health. As a carer of 22 years, I've seen it all... from aged 6 to 103. From terminally ill to just being lonely.

I'm 59 and try not to think very far ahead, but to just enjoy life for the moment - my loving husband and sons, my delightful grandchildren, my cats, friends, etc. Luckily, I am still fit and well, but nobody knows what's "just around the corner", so I think it best to try to make the most of time NOW.

The warm weather is on its way. Book an appointment to have a new hair style, paint your toe nails in 5 different colours, plan to cook some of your favourite meals, put clean sheets on the bed, take yourself out for tea and cakes, buy some new clothes....in other words, make a list of things you could treat yourself to and then go and DO IT???☀️??

I think you are so lucky to be 71.

The Biblical reference to our allotted span was three score years and ten. Not everyone makes it to 70. Anything beyond that is a bonus, but some folk have ten, twenty or thirty years of bonus. I have really appreciated life much more since I turned 70!

Flu can be very debilitating and can leave you feeling depressed afterwards.
Perhaps you'll be able to get out in the promised sunshine and get some vitamin D this weekend Mancunianma.

As far as I remember, your neutrophils increase if you have a bacterial infection but you use them up if you have a viral infection (I think that's the right way round), so your immune system may be quite low at the moment.

I think it will take quite a while to shake off the after effects of flu, and the weather hasn't helped much yet. Some nice summer weather will make the whole world look different.

It's been a hell of a winter, for both weather and viruses.

Things will get better I am sure; we all just have to hang on in there.

I think we all now how debilitating flu and the like can be.
My Sis-in-law, (a Dr ) is of the opinion that viral infections can leave you much “lower” than bacterial infections. So it is not surprising that you feel low.
Be good to yourself and with a bit of sunshine I am sure you will soon pick up.

Mancunianma I live alone and this illness has left me feeling very vulnerable and afraid and thinking that now at my age things are not going to get any better

I think that’s a very understandable fear. I would feel the same in your situation. Have you any close friends or neighbours who would be there for you if you were unwell or incapacitated in some way?
As for things not getting any better, I’m not sure if you mean physically or in other ways. If you mean physically, I do think that as we get older we take longer to get over debilitating illnesses, but recovery is possible with a good diet and moderate exercise that you enjoy, and a positive attitude.
If you live in Manchester there must be lots of things to do that you would enjoy.
I hope that you're soon feeling better - the weather might warm up soon and cheer us all up!

I have 7.5 years left- must get on- I have a lot to do this evening.

Thank you Teetime and I will try to use Gransnet. Best Wishes to you too and Elegran.

Looks like I've got another 16.58 years- let's hope I will be fit throughout!

You can calculate your life expectancy here based on the average for people who have reached the age you are now. (This is most reassuring - the older you get, the longer you can hope to live! )

Then you can add a few variable things, and see how you could live even longer, and be healthier in your old age.

JenniferEccles 50 is the new 70