Meeting up with the grandson - first time since we fell out at Christmas

My grandson had a period of this sort of behaviour but when he was 17/18 he has settled down now into a pleasant young man of 24. I would think your grandson should behave more acceptably at 23 and consider the feelings of others as most adults do.

i know exactly what you mean. I was very very close to my DGD until she went to uni. Then just like my daughter she turned into a totally different person. After the Brexit vote she accused me of being racist and said people my age shouldn't have had a vote as we are ruining their futures. I told her she's more than entitled to her opinion but I wont accept rudeness and lack of respect from her or any of my family We made it up eventually then recently I have found her comments both rude and hurtful so I have taken a step back from family. It's not easy and I miss the closeness we had but I wouldn't accept such behaviour from others so why should I put up with it from family. Just my opinion . Hope you have better outcome

Yes, it's since he went to university in London. He's an aspiring academic and seems only to communicate with us like that - he must be different with his pals. I've got a degree in similar subjects so it's not as though I'm intellectually inferior. It really is a shame as he has no family that he sees apart from mum and dad (recently separated) and myself. He's quite scathing of his dad too, who is a respected English teacher. I'm only mentioning that to illustrate it's not because he's the first to benefit from higher education. What makes it more upsetting for me is that I had a very difficult childhood and achieved all my successes etc without help or support. I feel he should respect me more. Sorry everyone, I'm going on now!

Well I was told "respect is earned". Please feel free to be "going on now" lol

Keep a low profile with him until he has grown up a bit, and yes, unless he has any problems (Aspergers etc) he is out of order.
You and your DD should perhaps just step back a bit.
He may change in time.

Where are you meeting him?
Is it somewhere that you can leave if things are not going well?
I would not mention the previous 'fall out' and try to keep things bright and breezy, good luck hope all goes well for you

Young men often seem to go through a phase like this, acting superior or extra cynical, he will most likely grow out of it, just a bit later than usual.

You could try asking other male family members, or friends, if they can remember being like this when they were young.

Not sure what you mean, Ziggy? If you mean I should be earning his respect I can assure you I deserve it!

Carolb25, no I meant that is what my DGD told me

He's been at my daughter's since yesterday. I'm meeting them for a meal out tonight. Normally we'd spend the day together but I did have a dental appointment which meant I couldn't, which was quite convenient really. Thanks for the advice. I will keep it light and not refer to the fall out but I will leave early if I feel he's being as he was last time. I hope he does grow out of it and see sense. For my daughter's sake if not for mine!

It didn't go particularly well but I managed to bite my tongue and act like it hadn't happened. Went for a meal ... no conversation or chit chat. It's his birthday next week so I'll send him a card, tell him I'm here if he needs me/wants to keep in touch and leave the ball in his court. Sad.

yeap its very sad but I think you have done all you can. Sending hugs, its not easy xx

“When I was 25 I thought my parents were idiots. By the time I was 30 I was amazed at how much they had learned in five short years”

Thank you everyone for your comments.