Ask me anything

Oh. Sorry to have usurped the point of this thread. (Irony alert!)

Ok Lara...I will kick it off in Chat...not sure I will get much response but here we go....

If its of any interest, my thesis for fellowship of IFR was on the 'Role of Taxidermy in the British Monarchy 1837-1901.'
My findings were that Queen Victoria was not in fact stuffed despite pervasive rumours at the time.
My research interests have had to be shelved temporarily due to increased work pressures. So much fake news to instigate.

I gather they are edible so do be careful not to accidentally chomp on a hidden bug (get it bug?)

Jane10 thank you for the laughs.

We have a few nasturtiums in the garden this year that seem to have seeded themselves. Highly suspect. I am off to have a quiet word with them!

Nasturtiums are the flower of choice for hidden microphones. If you're ever near a bed of nasturtiums try saying loudly 'Hello Ivan. How are you today?'

Leave the Nasturtiums to the panel of gardeners.

Chewbacca I hope your not casting Nasturtiums

My suspicion is that he must employ many professional liars to come up with the huge range of whoppers that he comes out with.
Before you ask, his hair is completely natural

I'm just wondering, is The Donald a member of FIFR?
He seems to talk through a hole in his hat!

It's not secret but individuals have to carry out doctoral level research into a completely pointless topic. They have to be able to defend their thesis to a panel of professionals selected from the worlds of sport or gardening as appropriate. Not everyone passes.
I'm sure there are other members on GN but we only know other FIFR associates by a special handshake and that's hard to do online.

Is it a secret organisation Jane10 or can anybody join? Also, am I right in thinking that there are a number of other GNetters who are members of the Institute of Fatuous Research?

It's a carefully honed skill. I am a member of a number of professional organisations including my fellowship of the Institute of Fatuous Research.

Jane did you take a university course or are you just a naturally talented liar?

Ask me how to keep calm and carry on....

Jane!

I pressed send accidentally - I was going to say thanks to Jane for getting my day off to a good start by making me laugh. Not usually easy to do at this time of day

I am a serious professional liar. I leave the fantasies to the PR specialists.
Must rush. Am having a working breakfast with David Attenborough. He's wanting me to help him make up more animals for him to pretend he's seen.

Try posting this on 'ask a gran'. Despite its title, this thread is not intended real questions

I'm not a gran but wanted advice on any youngish denture wearers out there. I'm so devastated to be losing 4 teeth in 3 weeks. I'm 57 and a voice coach,drama teacher. I'm terrified that I'm going to lisp and that my teeth will fly out when I'm teaching students tongue twisters. I'm worried about how long it will take to feel like I don't have a bus in my mouth. I know there's much worse could happen but I'm miserable. Help and and advice please

Jane.... does my bum look big in this?

Do you lie for a specific reason, e.g. to avoid trouble, or are you just a compulsive liar, i.e. your whole life is one big fantasy?

Do you have any tips for aspiring liars, Jane?

No it's not!