Ask me anything

I am happy today that I have no commitments lined up.

What made you happy today?

Sorry, this was posted in response to someone who wanted advice on false teeth, and now I can’t find her post!

I have a plate with three front teeth, after a bridge failed. ( I had an accident some years ago which led to me losing my font teeth, have had two bridges, but now dentures.) Every night when I it out, and every morning when I put it in I think about having implants, but when I have secured it with Fixodent I don’t really think about it for the rest of the day. What deters me from having implants is the cost- around £4000- and the long drawn out and slightly uncomfortable procedure, but if those don’t concern you that is something you can consider in the future. Otherwise, get a good fixative, don’t try eating toffees or chewing gum, and you will soon forget all about them.

GillyBob,
That is exactly what I did: I fitted it in with my real life which is rather less racy.
I didn't earn much money because I worked for a company, and they obviously took the lions share, but I earned enough to buy a decent weekly shop each week, which was the difference between managing or sinking.
My voice? Well, to some it must have seemed sexy, as a lot of men have a particular fantasy in mind, and if the voice fits, then it serves its purpose.
As above, a Geordie accent may be just what floats someone's boat.

Oh how interesting mysecretname . Did you talk while you were doing the ironing pretending to be wearing something sexy when really you were in in old dressing gown with egg down the front ?

Did you make a lot of money? Have you got a sexy voice? Do you think a Geordie accent could work?

Have you ever heard such a deafening silence as this, Secret?

Right then.
Ask away, as I was an adult sex chat operator.

Testing, testing.

Sometimes I have a day off and just obfuscate for a wee change.

Oh dear you must find yourself even lying in your dreams Jane10 ! Could there be a more demanding and draining "job"?

Yes and no of course!

Just wondering if a professional liar ever tells the truth Jane10 It must get very complicated for you.

I mean are you ever (professionally) off duty ?

Ps - Did you send the results of your spoof customer survey to the supermarket management?

67% of customers love that you provide lentils in a variety of different sizes and prices at assorted locations around the store.

3% of customers absolutely love being assisted by someone who is dressed as Mickey Mouse or Superwoman.

Wow, Jane10. You were certainly showing natural aptitude. Unless that's a lie you just told to Katek?

I guess would-be professional liars will just have to keep practicing as amateurs to find out.

I’m a DIL

Ooh! Exciting! I didn’t realise there was so much secret squirrel stuff involved.....even better.

I can keep a secret you know ( nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!)?

Sorry Katek. You can't just apply to study this. You have to be invited. My facility for this was spotted in a supermarket where I was carrying our spoof customer surveys for a laugh. Shortly afterwards I received a mysterious brown envelope inviting me to interview.
Keep an eye on the mail. You never know...

Is this a degree course Jane? It seems like an ideal occupation for working from home. It would suit me admirably so any details of establishments of further learning and entry qualifications would be much appreciated. Any recommended reading.....Don Quixote perhaps??

So am I!

This is SO much better than the AMA threads on Mumsnet. Those youngsters have a lot to learn. BTW I'm only 29 myself.

I have been well paid to lie on this thread. The Ministry of Misinformation has vetoed any potential political career for me due to my incredible expertise. It wouldn't be fair on the other politicians.

Jane10, have you been telling the truth on this thread, as lying is your profession and GN is, surely, recreational?

Have you thought of being a politician? I assume you are not one already, as the standard of lying among politicians is atrocious.

I don't believe you're sorry at all, Jane