Hi everyone
I'm new here and am looking for advice on how to handle someone who is recently bereaved? My uncle (71) passed away last month. I've offered help to my aunt, asked her if there is anything I can do but was met with a very blunt answer. I understand she is grieving, what can I do to help her? She tends to bottle things up and can appear quite spiky but is really very vulnerable and funny once you get her to relax. How do I make this easier? She's completely on her own now aside from friends. No children and her relationship with my mum is not great. I'm prone to putting my foot in my mouth. What do people who have recently lost someone want to hear? How do I not offend her? I feel like I'm on eggshells and don't want to say the wrong thing. Do I talk about how wonderful he was? In reality I think they had a quite one-sided relationship and he didn't treat her so well. In the coming months should I pop round regularly or would that be a nuisance? Shall I rather wait for her to reach out to me? We usually have lunch every few months and I live quite nearby. Any thoughts? Would joining a forum like this help do you think? Talking anonymously to people who might have also had a loss? I do need to bite my tongue sometimes with her too and I don't think I'm going to be able to offer the regular support she needs.
July 23 Limerick (continuation of July 21)