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Feuding grandsons

(24 Posts)
Poppyred Wed 07-Nov-18 16:42:18

My two grandsons aged 11 and 7 can’t be in the same room as each other for more than 2 minutes without a fight breaking out. I find this very stressful when I’m looking after them. Any ideas on how I can get them to stop?

MissAdventure Wed 07-Nov-18 16:49:16

I'd be very interested in any suggestions too.
Mine are 11 and 16 and have fought constantly, though I will say its a bit more friendly breaking of arms and legs these days.

annodomini Wed 07-Nov-18 16:56:26

My two (10 and 13) are chalk and cheese. They have always fought, but now that their house has been extended, each has plenty of room to keep away from the other. The younger one spends a lot of time upstairs and the elder has taken over a small room in which he keeps his X-Box, though at the moment he is, as often as not, out with his 'mates'. Next year they will both be at the same school.

luluaugust Wed 07-Nov-18 17:15:53

Sorry Poppyred I don't think you will stop two young brothers having a good scrap they all do it. I expect as they get older it will become more verbal than physical!

BlueBelle Wed 07-Nov-18 17:37:48

My 15 girl and 17 boy can’t be in the same room together similar to Annodomini one in back room on Xbox one upstairs in bedroom making up Face packs etc
My three girls 12/15/18 can’t be in the same room full stop
My 21 girl and 17 boy get on like a house on fire
All different but very normal to fight and bitch

grannyqueenie Wed 07-Nov-18 17:53:32

Isn’t it wearing, my gs and his sister are like this, keep hoping they will grow out of it but so far not a chance! It drives me crackers when they are with me, they are 11 and 10 now and so competitive with each other. I wish I could offer some easy solution, my strategy is one of divide and rule but thats only possible if grandpa is also on hand!

Nanabilly Wed 07-Nov-18 17:55:40

When my 2 sons were younger and going through the scrapping phase I always threw them out the back door and locked it until they had sorted it out . Never lasted very long once they were outside.

cornergran Wed 07-Nov-18 17:58:17

Two of ours are like this, mostly verbal but sometimes physical. Haven’t yet found the ideal management style other than different rooms.

PECS Wed 07-Nov-18 18:04:07

My DGDs (sisters)often fought very physically! They are now 10 & 13 and the physical fights are reducing.. but the bickering goes on.
The DGSs (brothers) are 10 & 6 and fight less than the girls but the older boy is a super kid and is kind and thoughtful and protective of his little bro.. only occasionally does he explode! The little one is constantly angry about something!
When all 4 are here now it is much calmer!

Poppyred Wed 07-Nov-18 18:10:58

Thanks guys, you’ve made me feel much better...thought it was just these two!! 😳🤪😳 I will just carry on with separate rooms lol

Venus Thu 08-Nov-18 18:02:21

Give them an incentive to behave themselves. Tell them if they are nice to each other, they will get a reward. Maybe give them 10 points each on a chart each time you see them. When they have collected so many points, (you decide) you will convert that into money and they can spend it on whatever they like. I know it's bribery, but I happen to know that it works!

Poppyred Thu 08-Nov-18 20:08:26

Thanks Venus sounds like a good idea!

Humbertbear Fri 09-Nov-18 08:22:35

Do they have to be in the same room? My GC don’t fight but the oldest prefers to go in the dining room and get on with her stuff, perhaps with her GF, while I cook in the kitchen with the younger ones. If we have just the younger two, we will have two activities on the go. Of course, eventually, we find them all in a corner playing together.

harrigran Fri 09-Nov-18 09:24:52

Not just GSs, we have two GDs and they can't be in the same room. Younger one thinks she should have and do the same things as her sister, but the sister is four years older.

123kitty Fri 09-Nov-18 09:44:07

It's what children do! I just move the coffee table and let them get on with it. At least it's an active break from lying on the floor playing games on their pads.

NannaUrie Fri 09-Nov-18 11:16:19


NannaUrie Fri 09-Nov-18 11:25:27

Annodomini... my grand-daughter studied an extract from gransnet in 2013.. about paris ? She says she looked at your converstaions! About planning a trip to paris! Isn't that amazing?

rubysong Fri 09-Nov-18 19:40:48

I always told mine, "If you are going to fight, go outside". At least that way nothing indoors got broken. They are now grown up and the best of friends.

whitehurstnan6969 Fri 09-Nov-18 21:47:54

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sheild Sun 11-Nov-18 11:27:28

I agree with Nannabilly. Let them sort it out.
Only intervene if it becomes more than verbal warfare.
Fresh air is good anyway!!

BonnieBlooming Sun 11-Nov-18 11:52:17

My son and daughter were like this. I only learned recently he actually shot her with a pellet gun. Even as teenagers they couldn't pass each other without hurling some sort or insult! Now in their thirties they actually hug when they meet. It is stressful but they usually get there in the end!

Biscuits Sun 11-Nov-18 14:59:45

I would find something they could do together,join a club,football,craft activity,boxing club.

grannyactivist Sun 11-Nov-18 15:04:57

I would keep them apart as much as possible. Their age difference means that they probably don't have much in common at the moment so I'd set them up in different rooms with activities to suit each of them. I do this with my 5 and 8 year old grandsons when necessary.
Alternatively I give mine separate jobs to do in the house and garden to keep them occupied and then reward them in some way if they've managed to do their jobs well and without too much argy bargy.

lacy5488 Sun 11-Nov-18 19:05:20

When my brothers were alive they fought each other most of the time and if they weren't fighting they were yet to g each other into trouble.