Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Friend with cold

(52 Posts)
chelseababy Fri 14-Dec-18 08:40:33

I was due to visit a friend today for lunch. She has just messaged me to say she has a cold and do I still want to go as I won't want to catch it for Christmas. I'm not sure whether this is code for don't come or a genuine question. What do grans think?

ReadyMeals Sat 15-Dec-18 10:40:46

Grammaretto that sounds like the same one going around here! What general area are you in? I'm in West London.

Chicklette Sat 15-Dec-18 10:41:20

I am on a medication which compromises my immunity and it’s made me extra careful about not wanting to share germs. This week I have a chest infection and have sent a similar message to a couple of friends. I’m sure I’m infectious as I have a cold as well and don’t want to make others ill. I’d be so grateful if my friends gave me this option as the simplest cold can make me so ill these days.

Willow10 Sat 15-Dec-18 10:56:15

Id be grateful thst she even mentioned it. I picked a friend up to go to archery this week and as she got in my car, she said ' Don't get too close, I've got a stinking cold!' She is sitting next to me in the car - how can I not get too close? Why couldn't she have told me that half an hour before, when I phoned to offer the lift? confused

Pat1949 Sat 15-Dec-18 11:04:03

Genuine concern. Who wants to pass their cold on to someone else especially at Christmas and the New Year? A very thoughtful friend.

mabon1 Sat 15-Dec-18 11:07:20

Your friend is very considerate, why are you so cynical?

Iam64 Sat 15-Dec-18 11:10:48

I didn’t see the OP as cynical, more a genuine enquiry. I’ve a challenged immune system and appreciate close friends and family who understand it is not something to dismiss

ReadyMeals Sat 15-Dec-18 11:24:40

I agree Iam64. I think the implied here was that she was willing to risk the cold and keep the arrangement but wondered if her friend might prefer her not to, in which case she'd take the hint and not go on this occasion.

SunnySusie Sat 15-Dec-18 11:39:27

I really wish this would become the norm. Our U3A sent out a message this year gently reminding people that some members are quite frail and it would be much appreciated if people stayed at home when under the weather - and lo and behold it seems to have worked. All of a sudden its become acceptable to ring, text or email to say you have a cold and wont be passing it on by turning up. I have vivid memories of a friend coming round for coffee three days before I was getting on a long haul flight and announcing as she walked in the door that she felt so bad she thought she might be going down with flu! shock angry

Grammaretto Sat 15-Dec-18 11:52:12

We should warn people really. It's a bother to some but others just say the germs are everywhere and if you travel by bus or shop in shops or go to cafes or even hospitals and doctors waiting rooms there will be opportunities to catch something.
I went to Japan where they all wear face masks. It was almost a fashion statement. Not sure if it keeps the germs at bay.
Hot water with honey and lemon is my tipple of choice today.

BlueBelle Sat 15-Dec-18 12:45:56

Surely this is a none question You know your friend we don’t Why wouldn’t it be genuine ?

Marmight Sat 15-Dec-18 13:40:17

I've got a sniffle and a horrible cough and I too am on boy duty this weekend at my house. DGS2 and I coughed in unison through last night and tbqh I could have done without them. I've sent them home for the afternoon so I can get on with stuff have 40 winks, but they're back again later for another innings. All this parental socialising! My social life is zilch since I moved ☹ . I do love a party.....

SpringyChicken Sat 15-Dec-18 14:00:17

Yes, genuine. I've done the same myself and, unfortunately, will have to ask my friends if they still want me at a dinner on Monday night.

Nanny41 Sat 15-Dec-18 14:04:57

What a nice considerate friend you have,she doesnt want you to be ill at Christmas,I would do the same, maybe ring instead of texting
I think people seem to text more than phone these days.

GreenGran78 Sat 15-Dec-18 14:07:35

My choir neighbour coughed all through rehearsal, and shortly afterwards I started with it, and ended up with a chest infection. Weeks later I am still a bit wheezy, and my singing voice hasn’t been up to par for all our Christmas concerts. Why aren’t people more considerate?

Saggi Sat 15-Dec-18 14:35:09

I always let people know if I’m unwell...especially if I’m infectious...more folk should be that considerate.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 15-Dec-18 15:30:33

I think she is being considerate as many others have said here. It's horrible to have a stubborn visitor who is too generous with their germs and a bad cold at Christmas time is truly miserable.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 15-Dec-18 16:42:12

In my family and circle of friends it would be a genuine message, and I think you should take it as such.

1974cookie Sat 15-Dec-18 17:13:58

I think that she is being considerate too. There are some really, really nasty colds doing the rounds at the moment that just seem to go on and on. there is nothing worse than being ill at Christmas time.

stevej4491 Sat 15-Dec-18 18:08:02

I've always been of the opinion that if your resistance is low enough , you'll catch something anyway,if not ,you won't.

chelseababy Sat 15-Dec-18 19:22:30

She still isn't well and is now wheezy and lethargic so I think postponing was best for both of us.

Melanieeastanglia Sat 15-Dec-18 19:28:13

I think your friend was genuine. The trouble is you're often infectious before the cold arrives, I've been told, but not so infectious once you have it. Perhaps this is wrong.

I don't worry too much about catching colds because what can you do? You could catch one on public transport or in a supermarket.

It's harder for someone who is chronically sick or caring for someone. I do appreciate that.

adaunas Sat 15-Dec-18 19:48:47

Genuine I would think. We often do this so you have the choice of whether to meet up or not and the week before my DH went into hospital I was grateful for the consideration.

kwest Sat 15-Dec-18 22:33:16

I went to a lunch with a group of friends yesterday. One of them announced that she had not been able to go to exercise classes all week because of 'this cold'. I was shocked that she had turned up at all with the possibility of infecting nearly 20 other people just before Christmas.

moggie57 Mon 17-Dec-18 02:45:03

i would decline.and say we can catch up later on.

merrilyn Mon 17-Dec-18 03:01:01

I always let my friends know if I have a cold or am unwell. One friend gets a sore throat and bronchitis at the hint of someone's sniffle.