Adult daughter

If I understand you correctly, you and your 33 yr old daughter don't get on at all well, but you are fond of her two little ones.

The only thing you can do is try and repair the relationship with your daughter. If it has always been difficult then it may not be possible. Are you able to talk things through together for the sake of the children. Does she want you to be part of their lives? How much are you willing to change in order to improve things?

So your question is?

I think OP accidentally posted before she was done. Might be easiest to wait for her to post the end of what she was planning to post before giving advice.

Could anyone else tell me that if their adult children fall out with each other( I am talking age range of 33 to 45- 4 children) that they expect their parent or parents to sort out the problem?

I think its reasonable for adults to sort out their own grievances.

I have told my daughters (42+40) that I won't act as go-between, nor will I act as referee

Thankyou for the responses.
Unfortunately they don’t seem to understand ‘reasonable’

I think the reasonable applies to other people's view of this sibling rivalry. I would just leave them to get on with it in their own unreasonable way.

It is their problem not yours. Just make it clear that if they are in your house together, they either stop arguing or go home.

I found a while ago I was go-between with my DD and DS. They are both adults and married. It did not concern disagreements just making arrangements etc. I told them to contact each other directly and sort things out and let me know. It seems to have worked. They are getting on better and I am not involved.