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2 year old behaviour

(18 Posts)
luckyrose62 Sat 02-Feb-19 11:30:56

Well I am used to the terrible 2s
This one is something different, she smack me kicks our well tempered dog , nips and scratches me for nothing the last bites this week she started off while we were having a nice cuddle, taste! And bit not too hard, I said a firm No she laughed and bit further down my arm a firm ?No then bit harder each time laughing. So I put her on the other side of the baby gate. She stands there for a bit. Then is okay for a short while. She throws things and tries to damage things trying to get a crayon off her when she is going for drawing everywhere is a challenge. I think I would rather have a screaming tantrum ( from her I mean) however it could be me. We only have her 1 day a week she is the youngest of 3. Any tips? I told her dad my son. I said it doesn’t really hurt but that is not the point. My husband helps me with her and last week he put her lots of times on the naughty step, it was a shame. You can’t slap them these days mind you when we picked her 5 year old brother up and she started pulling his hair I pulled hers as I got her off him. Then felt guilty. So what would you do?

MissAdventure Sat 02-Feb-19 11:38:30

Are you consistent with the naughty step?
Every single time she misbehaves she needs to be put on it, and ignored.
Its not a shame; it won't hurt her, and will help her to control her behaviour and calm down.

ninathenana Sat 02-Feb-19 11:41:15

Apart from immediately moving her to the other side of the room at the first attempt to bite or scratch and ignoring any attempts to get attention, I have no advice.
I'm not being smug but neither of my children or my grandchildren had ""the terrible twos" so I have no experience.

Urmstongran Sat 02-Feb-19 11:43:24

What a little monkey moo! She’s probably testing the boundaries. And your patience!
Perhaps try to distract her from her naughtiness by saying ‘ooh look what we can do/find/. Shh! Can you hear those birdies?’ etc. Little ones like attention of any kind (!) perhaps she is bored and needs stimulation play?

EllanVannin Sat 02-Feb-19 11:52:28

Behaviour best ignored. Toddlers love an audience, don't be part of that audience.
If you have a garden try channelling her energy with a ball game to get rid of the frustration.

eazybee Sat 02-Feb-19 12:12:49

I didn't have terrible twos either, and I didn't have a child who tried to bite me or anyone else more than once. Naughty steps, withdrawal etc are no use unless the child understands her behaviour is unacceptable; an instant, really stern response and physical restraint to prevent biting, kicking, hair -pulling etc. She appears to think it funny, which suggests she is being indulged at home, possibly because she is the youngest, and 'Terrible Twos' is being used as an excuse. Discuss this behaviour with both parents, and then make it clear you will not tolerate biting, hitting, kicking etc, and stick to it.

Izabella Sat 02-Feb-19 12:16:16

Agree with others. Give no attention. This means moving to the naughty step immediately something happens. Use no eye contact at all, or vocalised discussions. On the other hand when she does something positive really go over the top with positive praise, good eye contact and the suggestion of doing something exciting. Consistency being the operative word. Good luck

Luckygirl Sat 02-Feb-19 12:24:16

How very hard for you. I understand you saying it is a "shame" as I am sure you had fantasies of a wonderful cosy Granmda/DGD relationship. But when a child is behaving like this you have to become part of the parenting brigade and accept that sometimes you have to let her hate you.

The biting and scratching is slightly OTT - mine just had mega tantrums (as most do at that age) but did not lash out as this child is doing.

Naughty step every single time - no eye contact, no discussion, no persuasion - just do it.

BlueBelle Sat 02-Feb-19 12:45:15

I m not so keen on this naughty step thing, ( it’s all about attention) getting them on the step, what if they refuse, youv e then got to pick them up put them back on it, they get off, you put them back it’s a pantomime and they love the attention
In this bite story I would remove the cuddle from bite number 1 not accept 3 bites before acting So remove my arm telling her quite seriously ‘There is no biting’ In a sternest voice I would tell her why ‘it hurts and is very unkind’ then I would walk away and get on with something I was doing taking no notice if her at all, and wait for her to come to me which she will
Absolutely no attention until she’s return to normal

Lily65 Sat 02-Feb-19 12:59:52

I don't wish to be unkind but is this becoming too much for you all?

It doesn't sound like a nice experience at all for anybody.

Farmor15 Sat 02-Feb-19 13:01:40

Like BlueBelle , I can’t really understand the naughty step for a 2 year old. I’m sure most of them get up straight away, and then have to be put back, meaning more attention. I think it’s probably better for you to remove yourself from her if she starts biting etc. I certainly wouldn’t put up with it and if she’s kicking the dog, it may be better to put dog in another room.

Do you have a cot for her that she can’t climb out of? If so, you could put her in cot with only a few soft things that she can’t damage herself or anything else, when she misbehaves.

Though as others have said, discussion with parents is best.

Ohmother Sat 02-Feb-19 13:42:29

She sounds like she’s got a lot of pent up energy and may be copying her older siblings rough play.

I would do as a previous poster said. Wear her out with ball games, swings, slides, walking, running etc. I don’t think sitting that pent up energy on a naughty step will help her discharge it.

Fennel Sat 02-Feb-19 19:46:46

"She sounds like she’s got a lot of pent up energy and may be copying her older siblings rough play."
Good point - luckyrose have you watched her at home playing with her older siblings and seen the level of aggression there?
I think you need more background before making a plan.

Cherrytree59 Sat 02-Feb-19 20:05:59

Keep the dog in a separate room better safe than sorry.
Then coat on whatever the weather and out side with reigns on or in pushchair, be prepared to walk miles.
Take food for the ducks.
Talk all the time about what she can see, red car lorry cat etc.
Take a drink and some fruit and have a mini picnic.

You may find the fresh air will make her sleepy.
Many a time I have pushed the pram / pushchair back into the hall with a sleeping baby/ toddler and had a quiet cuppa.

Even out in the garden in wellies and a ball,
Bubbles, scooter, splash in puddles, make mud/sand pies water pistol.

Terrible twos does not mean a naughty child.
They are still learning what is acceptable and do not have enough vocabulary to express themselves.
Possibly she is missing her parents.

Children are like dogs they need exercise and fresh airgrin

Jalima1108 Sat 02-Feb-19 20:52:24

Sensible post Cherrytree!

Yes, the park (ours has plenty of space to run around and kick a ball as well and balancing poles for grandma to fall off).

The dog could go too as long as he doesn't poo in the park.

Have some fun!

Tantrums are OK but biting is not.

luluaugust Sun 03-Feb-19 12:49:52

Obviously the rough and tumble of family life has got out of hand! I agree plenty of walks, running round, swings and park if you have them. Take the pushchair so you don't end up carrying her home but make her walk as much as possible. The biting can be a teething thing but keep her busy and don't give her a chance. Hide the crayons.

Telly Sun 03-Feb-19 13:36:25

I would certainly stop biting, destructive behaviour etc. immediately. Then I would concentrate on taking notice of the sort of behaviour that you want and ignoring the bad. Easier said than done, but you do have to be consistent. Also I would have a look at diet and make sure there are not sugar rushes etc. going. Good luck.

Izabella Sun 03-Feb-19 14:29:05

Farmor I respect your view, but children at 2 are not too young to start understanding the concept of cause and effect. It is part of their overall learning