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elderly parent problems

(8 Posts)
lmm6 Sun 03-Feb-19 16:36:35

94 year old Mum about to come to live with DH and me. Part of me looking forward to it, part of me dreading it. She's very good-natured, never miserable, but talks total rubbish - trivia and nonsense. We'll have carers coming in but I need any advice I can get. Mum sleeps a lot but we'll have to entertain her to a certain extent. Anybody done it?

SalsaQueen Mon 04-Feb-19 10:10:15

When you say she talks total rubbish, do you mean she talks about things you don't find interesting, or is it that she suffers from dementia?

You could : get her a tv, radio, CD player. Crossword books, jigsaws, anything like that if she's able to do things. Take her to a day centre, the park, library.

Izabella Mon 04-Feb-19 10:13:25

Make a memory book for her with pictures and photos. Then there are audiobooks. Find local chair exercise classes for her or Tai Chi for oldies if her balance is good.

Luckygirl Mon 04-Feb-19 10:18:19

Organise for her to go to day centre a couple of times a week - most residential homes provide day care. Do it now - before she arrives - so it is part of the package. It will be harder to do once she is ensconced without it.

Truly - you will need a bit of a breather now and again, so build this in from the start. You will then know that you will have time to yourselves right from the start.

I know that sounds harsh, but you cannot care for someone without opportunities for you to refill your jug.

PECS Mon 04-Feb-19 10:20:20

If she is a church goer there maybe groups there she could visit to give a bit of a structure to the week. I have not had to manage this but friends who did had a "co- habit" rule that certain times of the day were not to be intruded on. So e.g between 2:30 4:30 in the day , 7:30 & 9:30 in the evening as the time she and husband could disappear into their sitting room etc and grandma was in her space. Mornings and meal rimes were shared times. It was a rough guide to help them negotiate shared living.I think it found its own balance eventually.

MissAdventure Mon 04-Feb-19 10:39:49

It might be best to ask her what she'd like to do before organising things.

kittylester Mon 04-Feb-19 10:41:28

If she has any sort of dementia it would be a good idea to contact the Alzheimer's Society and see what they can help you with.

lmm6 Mon 04-Feb-19 10:59:57

Thank you. There are some good suggestions here which I will look into.