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16 year old Gd

(18 Posts)
LJ56 Fri 08-Feb-19 20:03:29

Can any one assist. In a nut shell my Gd dad and stepmum have split up she is now living with her stepmum mums sister. I live the other side of the country and although we are in regular contact she didn't tell me I don't know why.... teenagers I suppose. I have also just found out she is under social services if I had my way she would be living with me but I dont think I can insist on this. Any ideas thanks

Gonegirl Fri 08-Feb-19 22:33:47

Have you asked if she wants to live with you? At sixteen I would have thought it was up to her.

paddyann Fri 08-Feb-19 22:37:03

surely she should be with her Dad if he's the blood relation?

PECS Fri 08-Feb-19 22:41:13

LJ her views would be taken into account I believe. It might be hard for her to move away from friends, school etc. If she is having support from SW then they would need to feel confident any move would be in your DGD best interests and safety. Not suggesting it would not be..but if you are not sure why she has a SW there may be issues that mean it is not as straightforward as just moving to grandma.

Buffybee Fri 08-Feb-19 22:59:38

stepmum mums sister do you mean that the stepmum is your Dg's Mothers, sister? In other words her Auntie?
I am sure that you can't insist on your Gd living with you.
If she is under the care of Social Services, they will ensure that she is safe where she is living.
Why do you think that she should come to live with you? Has she said that she's unhappy where she is?
Sorry for so many questions but your OP didn't give many details.

Beau Fri 08-Feb-19 23:29:35

I think OP means the DGD is with her stepmum's mother's sister - in other words not her step granny but her step great aunt? Is that right, I'm no good at those... Anyway, I thought OP meant that, which I must agree sounds distinctly unusual if I understand the relationships correctly. 😕

annodomini Fri 08-Feb-19 23:29:42

I hope she is able to continue with her education. 16 is a very important age at which most teenagers will be taking GCSEs. If she has been shunted around from pillar to post that does not augur well.

Buffybee Fri 08-Feb-19 23:41:25

Thanks Beau! So the Stepmums Auntie.

I presume that there are reasons that your Gd can't stay with her Dad?
Anyway, SS must be ok with where she's living, so unless she's asking to live with you, I don't think there's a lot you can do.
Can she come to visit you or could you visit her?

stella1949 Sat 09-Feb-19 03:56:54

I'm assuming that the aunt lives in a place where your GD wants to be - perhaps near friends, school etc. If she is your son's child, why not ask him ? It seems odd that your DGD has told you this news - didn't you know about the split before ?

BlueBelle Sat 09-Feb-19 04:34:53

I see this is your first post LJ

At first I read that your grandad and step mum had split up

You call your granddaughters Dad ‘her Dad’ so is he NOT your son?
Right I m trying to untangle this, was your grandaugter a child of your DAUGHTER who went to live with her FATHER who then remarried so she had a STEPMUM now they have split up and the child is with a STEP AUNT I m not surprised the poor child has a social worker

Where is her real Mum in all this ?

M0nica Sat 09-Feb-19 11:18:21

Have you contacted the SS involved and told them you are around, are concerned about your GD welfare and if your GD wanted it would provide her with a home?

If not, why not do it?

Luckygirl Sat 09-Feb-19 11:26:31

Do you have any reason to think that her current chosen home is inadequate in some way and she needs "rescuing"?

LJ56 Mon 11-Feb-19 11:18:54

That is my problem she is living with her step mums, mums sister who I do not know

LJ56 Mon 11-Feb-19 11:20:18

He has moved in with friends no room for her and now she is not talking to him.

LJ56 Mon 11-Feb-19 11:22:38

Yes its the step mums, mothers sister I know confusing and no blood relation.

LJ56 Mon 11-Feb-19 11:28:48

Hi Blue Belle

Yes this is my first post so I am trying to get my head around it!

My daughter is an alcoholic so at 9 my granddaughter went to live with her Dad and step mum. I was living abroad at the time and only fed bits of information. On returning to the UK I found out what had been going on but was not allowed to see my granddaughter.

After a year or so this changed and I am now in contact with her. She is coming to see me for the first time next week so hopefully, I will be able to get to the bottom of things. Unfortunately, I live 300 miles away so not easy to get the truth.

LJ56 Mon 11-Feb-19 11:29:54

Hi Monica

I am trying to find out who her sw is as we speak

muffinthemoo Mon 11-Feb-19 13:23:16

She is 16 and legally an adult. She may well have continuing support from SW but for all legal purposes she is an adult and can live with who she pleases. SW cannot direct where she lives or who she has contact with.

Her SW is unlikely to tell you anything without her consent.

I hope you enjoy your visit reconnecting with her, but please remember she is no longer a 'child in care' and whatever relationships she has are at her own choice. Please tread lightly with her, clearly she has had a difficult childhood.

Good luck and hope you enjoy your visit.