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Meeting new girl friend

(19 Posts)
Dawn22 Fri 26-Apr-19 18:56:39

I am meeting my son's new girl friend tomorrow for the first time. My son really likes her and l am sure l will too. My question is do l hug her when l first meet her? And do l hug her when leaving. Bit of a silly question l know but all the same l would be interested in any views. Dawn

agnurse Fri 26-Apr-19 18:57:55

I'd see what she is comfortable with. If she's reserved she may find a hug a bit much. You could ask her if she would be ok with a hug.

Gonegirl Fri 26-Apr-19 19:02:11

I started off hugging and kissing DD's new boyfriend (when he was new) but my balance isn't too good and I nearly toppled over on top of him. So I don't do it now.

kittylester Fri 26-Apr-19 19:31:45

I'd shake hands to start with and give her a hug when she leaves.

Sussexborn Fri 26-Apr-19 19:41:48

A warm welcoming smile will help things along. Hope all goes well.

Grannyben Fri 26-Apr-19 19:43:59

Do you usually hug people when you meet them? If you do, I would go ahead and not treat her any differently. It might look a bit odd if you give your son a great big hug and then go to shake her hand. Perhaps just a quick token hug on this occasion

crazyH Fri 26-Apr-19 19:47:25

I found the western culture of hugging and kissing everyone, even at first meeting, a bit awkward. I have got used to it now ......

crazyH Fri 26-Apr-19 19:47:52

Do what you feel comfortable with.

hdh74 Fri 26-Apr-19 20:33:22

I'd say be nice when you first meet but save the hug till you've met, then you can give it because it genuinely feels right (if it does) rather than as some custom. But I don't think there's a right or wrong.

phoenix Fri 26-Apr-19 21:01:02

Smile, and perhaps a hand on the shoulder? (The back of the shoulder, not the front, she might think you are trying to push het!)

Oh heck, I know what I mean, difficult to describe in writing!

Ah, this might do it, hand on the back of the shoulder, you in front, (rather than behind, that could seem like attempting to herd or round her up) gently guiding her into whichever room you have decided on.

Of course, this could all change if she comes bearing gifts, wine, flowers, chocolates etc.

Doodle Fri 26-Apr-19 21:07:07

When I met my son’s girlfriend (now wife) for the first time I was snuggled up in the armchair in my nightie and dressing gown eating a bar of chocolate blush hugging was not an option as I was trying to disappear into the furniture

sodapop Fri 26-Apr-19 21:20:55

No hugging until you get to know her a little would be my advice. Could be a bit overwhelming.

Sara65 Fri 26-Apr-19 21:27:13

I wouldn’t have liked my mother in law to hug me on first meeting, or ever to be honest, but that’s just me!!!

BlueBelle Fri 26-Apr-19 21:34:16

Oh gosh just do what seems natural what have you done with his other girlfriends ? Ersonally I would hug the first time else where have you got to go ?

BradfordLass72 Fri 26-Apr-19 21:41:55

This brings back memories of the first time I met my elder son's girlfriend. She had, only the day before, had his baby, my grad-daughter and I was so delighted I hugged her impulsively.
She stiffened like a board, being totally unused to this sort of effusive affection.
Now, 25 years on, she automatically hugs me when she visits smile

In te ao Maori (the Maori world) hugging and cheek kissing is part of the ritual of greeting and one would be thought very stand-offish if one did not respond this way.
On Saturday, I hugged and kissed upwards of 200 complete strangers at a wedding - it was lovely grin

Dawn22 Although I suspect the meeting is already over when you read this, I agree with a bright and welcoming smile as an opener, and if it feels natural, a nice hug as you leave.

Allegretto Fri 26-Apr-19 21:47:11

I think I would would shake hands on meeting and hug when leaving, unless that didn’t feel right at the time.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 26-Apr-19 21:48:01

We are huggers and kissers in our family, probably a bit odd to newcomers but hey ho that’s us!!!!

annodomini Fri 26-Apr-19 22:32:11

When I first met my son's future (now ex) wife, she was waiting for me on a Swiss station platform and we gave each other a big hug. We 'clicked' right away.

jeanie99 Fri 26-Apr-19 22:43:20

I wouldn't, you don't now this person,hugs and kisses are for family and friends.
One day this girl may become close and when you hug both of you will know the relationship is special.
I hope you have a lovely time.