Should I visit terminally ill friend who has just moved to a hospice?

Do not phone please , when my mother was really ill in hospital I just dreaded the phone ringing . Unless you are close family wait and see if the husband wants you to visit.

I agree with everyone Ring the hospice for advice and to see if you could make a brief visit but i know I would want to say goodbye to my close friends as well as my family

I agree that her husband has too much to think about and that you shouldn't stress him. I also agree that phoning the hospice is the better option as they will know the full picture. So sorry to hear about your friend.

Thank you for all your wise advice. I think we will drop a card off later today to the hospice, as many of you have suggested, but not ask to see her as the weekend will most likely be the time when many of the family will be able to visit. We’ll include our phone details in the card, as the family won’t have them and we don’t have any of their numbers. If we then haven’t heard anything by Tuesday we will phone the hospice for any news. At least we will have done what we could without being too intrusive.

Ask her first if she would like a visit.

I would phone her husband and ask for permission if he is not in agreement send a letter.
Say how you think of her often and the good times you had chatting about all the old days. Bring up some memories you share and send some old photos if you have any.
I am absolutely certain she will love to recieve the letter and if she cannot read her husband and family can read for her.
We are told the last thing to loose at death is our hearing.
Ring the hospice up for an update and ask the nurse to tell your friend you have rung and that you are thinking of her.

Phone the hospice and ask whether it would be ok. I guess that they would speak to her or the family. I would also email again. Apart from that I would send a card and small gift. It's always good to know that people are thinking of you when things are difficult. XX

Contact the husband and/or adult children; time is precious.

Send her a card and tell her you are thinking of her. Add your phone number and wait. If she can have no further treatment and has been moved immediately to a hospice she may be nearing the end of her life pretty soon and be unable to respond. Her husband will do as he sees fit and able to cope with.

Definitely ring the hospice and find out if it would be okay to visit her. Send her a card telling her that she's in your thoughts and that you would really like to visit (include your phone number as she may not have it with her). Husband is probably completely overwhelmed so I don't think I would wait for his reply. When my ex-colleague (same age as me) went into a hospice I sent her a card with my number on it and she rang me, and wanted me to visit - so I did. The staff there also arranged a "goodbye party" for her - and invited lots of people that she knew (friends and family and ex-colleagues). It was horribly poignant but I was so glad that I got to say how much I had appreciated working with her, how glad I was to have known her and how much she had added to my life. 2 days later she died. So, please don't give up too easily.

So sorry to hear about your friend i would do as others suggest ring hospice and see if she's ready to see anyone other than family. X

So sorry for your friend crystaltipps if you still haven't heard anything I would ring the hospice and explain the situation, they will be able to advise you.

Her husband is probably too distraught to even check his emails. I would phone the hospice and see how your friend is. They may not give you the information, on the other hand, the family might have given the permission to pass information on to friends who ring them.
When my friend was dying, her daughter rang me and suggested I go straight away to the hospice, as time was running out. I did see my friend, who by then was in a coma. I sat with her and talked to her. I 'm almost sure she heard me because her eyes blinked.
Please try and see her. You will feel so much better and your friend will too. So sorry xx

How sad. I think it's better to wait until you get a message from her DH, he may be by her side at this moment and can't reply to your message. She may only want close family to visit.

I think I’d try one more email ( as this has been the method of contact) along the lines of simply saying you are thinking of them all and is there anything you can do. It’s hard isn’t it especially as you have been such good friends over the years

I lost a very dear friend several months ago. She did not want anyone other than her husband and daughter to know she was so close to dying let alone visit her. I am sorry about your friend.

Dont bypass her DH as you have asked him.

Don't go without phoning first. The hospice staff will ask her if she would like you to visit.

I'd wait for a reply to your email. Events could have overtaken them or she is deciding whether she does want to see you.

Could you in the, meantime, send her a small gift - flowers or a plant?

Could you phone the husband and ask him whether you could pop in for 5 -10 minutes to see her?

I would phone the hospice and ask about her but not go in without "permission"
I wouldn't have wanted anyone but family at DM's deathbed.
Sad times