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Neighbour.

(13 Posts)
Bopeep14 Mon 29-Apr-19 22:41:42

My next door neighbour seems too have started a war with us.
It started just over a week ago when my sons fiancée came to drop off my grandchild, the neighbour came out and accused her of bumping into her car every time she comes she hasn't’ she doesn’t always park in the same place any way. The women got very aggressive and started ripping her front number plate off her own car and saying my sons fiancée had done it and she was going to ring the police.
When she told us we thought it very odd as this neighbour other than slamming doors and generally being like a baby elephant is ok, we have had worse.
The day after the women moved her car into the middle of a two car space so no one could park there, and was sat at the window laughing at us getting the stuff out of the car further up the road.
The next day she had what I can only describe as bang bang music on all day really loud from 7-30 am until at least 10pm. Grandchild didn’t get his nap that day.
She has continued to leave her car in this huge space but now her man friend has taken to parking his bike in between her car and ours we can’t even get in the boot he parks that close, my hubby needed to go out this evening and he knocked on the door and asked politely if he could move his bike so he could go out he said no and slammed the door. Luckily our other neighbours visitor was just leaving so he could get out.
I am at a loss as to why this is happening we have never had a wrong word in fact it is the opposite my hubby has just recently cleared all her gutters out and when she was ill before Christmas he pumped her car tyre up because she couldn’t drive for a while and it kept going down. If she has a problem with my sons fiancée that’s between them it’s nothing to do with us.
My daughter says it’s probably aggression brought on by smoking weed, as you can smell it when you walk past and she has the windows open. Does anyone think this is possible?
We certainly won’t be doing her any favours anymore.

M0nica Mon 29-Apr-19 22:59:12

I think the first thing to say is that the start of this behaviour has nothing to do with you personally, just the kind of stroppy neighbour who hates all neighbours on principle.

From what you say she is addicted to something; cannabis, alccohol or something else - and that can make people paranoid and difficult.

If she plays loud music again you can report her to the council. They will investigate and come and take readings when she plays music and if it is loud enough and continuous enough sh will be given a warning and could be taken to court

Similarly, if your properties are rented from the council or ahousing association you can report her behaviour to them and they will deal with it.

BradfordLass72 Tue 30-Apr-19 02:00:13

Take photos of obstructing vehicles too. Record, on your phones, any instances of destructive behaviours.

If this woman is a pot head then it's probably not going to get any better but, as MOnica says, almost certainly not personal.
Although it may seem like that to you as you are the target.
Be prepared. You just never know.

mumofmadboys Tue 30-Apr-19 05:08:23

I would try and ignore the behaviour for now and see if things improve. It is certainly very frustrating but perhaps if you ignore it they will go back to civil behaviour.

Sara65 Tue 30-Apr-19 06:17:30

This all sounds horrible for you, being on bad terms with your neighbors is really stressful.
I agree about ignoring it for now, and hoping it will go away, anything you do could just escalate the situation
Good luck with it

M0nica Tue 30-Apr-19 08:02:03

The main thing is not to retaliate, no matter how strong the provocation, and with neighbours like this, the inclination to do so will be strong.

While you do not retaliate and simply report, and keep reporting, her behaviour to the appropriate authorities, you ar on the side of the angels, once you retaliate, firstly things escalate and secondly you are seen as part of the problem.

Remember, if the authorities do not respond, you can speak to your local council member and if necessary take the matter up with your MP.

Grammaretto Tue 30-Apr-19 08:09:24

Ignore if you can. It must be horrible for you but you have done nothing wrong. Is there somewhere you could ask for advice? Your local councillor? CAB? Police station? someone who knows the area and who knows these people.
This brought back memories for me . Years ago a young woman neighbour, who had small children, took an irrational dislike to me and would snarl vile things to me and to our children as we walked past. My DD was frightened.
In that case I phoned the letting agents (it's a block of flats) who sounded sympathetic and who told me that some families were in emergency housing. She said she would try to help.
This was news to me and I began to have some understanding, if not sympathy, with this person.
I tried to avoid her entirely and we luckily have another entrance we could use.
I'd almost forgotten about her when 6 months later she and her partner came to help me dig my car out of the snow! I didn't recognise her in her hooded coat.
When it was done she smiled and told me they'd got a council house and were moving. She was happy. I think she even apologised!

Sara65 Tue 30-Apr-19 08:09:34

I think this is good advice, it may all blow over, but if it doesn’t, you won’t be seen as part of the problem.
It’s horrible living like this, your home should be somewhere to feel safe and relax

EllanVannin Tue 30-Apr-19 09:38:52

If you can be 100% sure that it's " weed " you can smell, then you have a case. Aggression is not acceptable within a neighbourhood and if it's exacerbated by cannabis using then report it to the police as the habit only gets worse along with the behaviour that goes with it.
Nobody should have to live in fear !!

Bopeep14 Tue 30-Apr-19 10:31:03

We have up to now ignored it, don't want to make things worse.
She only rents her house this house has been rented out for the last 30 years thats why i said we have had worse.
This woman lives on her own and is in her late 50s so not a youngster, she has lived here for 5 years and this is the first time we have had any problem.
I have Tinnitus so loud noise really gets to me and makes it worse.
I just needed to vent really.
I know realistically there isn't a lot we can do other than move into a field in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours. 😁

Floradora9 Tue 30-Apr-19 15:33:54

Contact her landlord and complain to him .

Nonnie Tue 30-Apr-19 15:41:26

You could also record on your phone any abuse. Sorry you have to deal with this. Lots of good advice above.

Telly Tue 30-Apr-19 16:21:48

You have the right attitude. Don't let her get to you and if things don't settle then start a log and record what's happening. However I would suggest that you try to mend bridges if at all possible. Some people thrive on anger but I tend to lean towards least said soonest mended, if you can of course. Good luck!