Such a long story i am going to try and condense it.
Dad died 6 years ago. Mum, now 86, lives on her own. Her mind is sharp but she has a few health problems and is a little unsteady on her feet.
We are 5 siblings who live from 35 to 300 miles away from her with our own families.
Mum recently went to stay with 1 brother and he reported that Mum smelled and when questioned she said that as she doesn't see anyone she cant see the point in showering every day (i had heard this from another sister as well a few weeks previously) its true she has made little effort to form friendships since Dad died, she has a cleaner in once a week and she has a family friend she sees a few times a week for coffee although this lady has recently been diagnosed as having alzheimers and Mum is now finding her difficult to be with.
She complained of loneliness to my brother which is why she went to stay at his recently, although, at other times, she will insist she isn't lonely.
My brother is looking into assisted living near himself, as he doesn't want her to be so far away from anyone and wants her on his doorstep in case anything happens.
Two of my sisters are not happy about this as it will mean her moving about 200 miles away from them and I don't know what to think. On the surface it seems like a good idea but is it wise to move so far away at that age???
You might ask what Mum feels in all this but the truth is that she was so under the thumb during her marriage that Dad made all the decisions, that she is almost incapable of making a decision now. She seemed on board with my brother i.e. moving into assisted living near him (her words to brother were 'whatever you think is best for me') but now my sisters have changed her mind (she now wants to stay in her own home, albeit 35 miles from nearest child)
To make matters worse she had a fall last weekend, and ended up in hospital. thankfully no great damage done.
I suppose what i'm asking is for opinions on what is best for her.
Is she too old to move?
Is she better off at home (albeit a long way from nearest child)
What are the benefits of assisted living?
Any other opinions gratefully recieved
bytheway Sun 09-Jun-19 19:55:15
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