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(13 Posts)
ElaineI Mon 22-Jul-19 15:59:13

My DH cousin has similar problems with his Dad but they use the respite for a break - normally away a week and catch up with home things for the second week and see relatives/friends that they can't do when caring. The Dad says he doesn't like it to them and then tells DH about the meals he has had and people he has met and activities. They use it twice a year.

Callistemon Mon 22-Jul-19 15:39:49

Here's a link to the Wrens Association with links to other organisations - perhaps not useful on this occasion, but it could be of help in the future:

Dawn22 Mon 22-Jul-19 15:28:31

Feel very blessed that you have such a good relationship with your mil.
My husband 's mother was....................................................
It is something I cannot even imagine.

EllanVannin Mon 22-Jul-19 11:15:09

Failing suggestions, take up the two week respite. Why not ?

Jani Mon 22-Jul-19 11:09:26

Brilliant idea Callistemon - yes she was in the Wrens - will look it up - thank you

Callistemon Mon 22-Jul-19 10:37:49

You mention the RN Club, Jani - did she or a close relative have service in the forces?
The RBL have four hotels where ex-service people can go for a break, with or without a carer. If she is able to look after herself without needing help with dressing etc, that could be a thought.

I can't do a link at the moment but if you google 'Break Centres' RBL it should come up.

tanith Mon 22-Jul-19 10:34:58

Jani I know it sounds harsh but I’d give her the choice, home alone or someone to come in and care for her. I’m sure she won’t want to spoil her sons birthday treat, maybe a bit of emotional blackmail in the nicest possible way.

Jani Mon 22-Jul-19 10:29:09

Thank you MissAdventure will send an email x

Jani Mon 22-Jul-19 10:27:33

Thanks tanith - I thought that a good idea but MIL said no to this - think she maybe having an awkward session as think she wants to come !!! X Age concern are for two weeks x

tanith Mon 22-Jul-19 10:22:29

Could you pay for a companion/minder for the few days there must be agencies who could help.

MissAdventure Mon 22-Jul-19 10:21:44

This site seems reputable, it may be worth putting an ad in and seeing what responses you get.

Liz46 Mon 22-Jul-19 10:19:07

Do you have a local AGE UK? Maybe they could help.

Jani Mon 22-Jul-19 10:09:35

Hi everyone - you all helped me before when I asked for help getting my MIL (who has had to come and live with us after husband died suddenly) out and about to see others her own age . Well we are off to The Royal Naval Club tomorrow morning for coffee - she is looking forward to it but a bit nervous.
However I have another problem now - we are away at the end of August - normally we take her with us aboard - going again next week - but this time there is too much walking involved and can’t leave her at home as it’s for 5 days and too long to be by herself. Where do I start to look for help in looking after her - I have tried the local care home but no reply as yet. Family normally help out and two friends but everyone can’t help this time. She said she would rather go somewhere as doesn’t want to stay in house - plus I would be frightened she might fall down the stairs - plus can’t cook or turn telly on- why are some so complicated!!! Lots of places will only take her for two weeks - well we only want 5 days - any suggestions please as at this rate will be cancelling trip and it’s hubby’s birthday so don’t want to do that really. Love to you all xx