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Autism Diagnosis

(14 Posts)
Sielha Sat 27-Jul-19 07:10:48

Have spoken about this before but yesterday, my daughter finally received confirmation of an autism diagnosis for her 2 year old son. We’ve been through a year of suspecting he has but this has still come as a blow to all of us. It seems so overwhelming as we currently have so many other problems going on (as we all do!). Plus, my other grandson, my son’s child who is the same age, is developing absolutely normally which is wonderful but makes things even harder for my daughter and son-in-law as they can’t help making comparisons. Just wondering how other grans have dealt with this news? Thanks

Willow500 Sat 27-Jul-19 07:24:48

My grandson (nearly 6) was diagnosed with Aspergers 2 years ago although my son had suspected it for some time so it wasn't a huge shock. He started school last year (they live in NZ) and so far seems to be doing ok although his attention span for anything he's not interested in such as reading and writing is limited so he's slightly behind in those subjects but he is amazingly clever in anything he becomes obsessed with (currently Egyptology).

He is a delightful, funny and extremely intelligent little boy and although his melt downs are spectacular we are confident he'll do well as he grows.

Please try not to worry too much - at 2 your grandson is still very young so his potential is still to be recognised. It's hard not to compare (my grandson has a younger brother who is fine) but this little guy is a person in his own right and very special in his own way. Some behaviour traits are challenging but as they grown they develop coping strategies and parents learn to cope.

BlueBelle Sat 27-Jul-19 07:48:59

I understand why people want diagnosis’s but at such a tender age I wonder if it’s a good idea These children don’t have an illness they have a different way of thinking and doing With education of the parents I think there’s no reason to think he won’t grow up to be a delightful intelligent child but comparing him to cousins is not helpful, he’s his own person let him go at his own pace and find his level treat him as you would if you didn’t have a diagnosis, an ordinary little chap who may do say or act differently to what you expect, that doesn’t make it wrong just different

Hatpev Sat 27-Jul-19 08:06:33

Hopefully help will be available for the family. Their county should provide some information on the local offer for SEND (special needs and disabilities). They should look on the website. There are lots of books available which provide support and suggestions. All should be involved with this so there is a consistent approach.

Luckygirl Sat 27-Jul-19 08:58:58

I think there is something to be said for early diagnosis as it means that proper allowances will be made for him, if and when needed. My DGD did not get her diagnosis till she was 13 when her anxiety and depression became a problem.

It must be hard for your DD not to compare her child with the cousin, but I am sure that this child will be equally loved and cherished.

Iam64 Sat 27-Jul-19 09:02:48

An early diagnosis could be very helpful to your grandson and his parents.
My 26 year old grandson was diagnosed at age 8, it changed his life so far as school was concerned. No longer as he described as disruptive, no longer sent out into the playground where he was bullied. He was put in charge of the library at lunch time, loved it and avoided the boys who'd made his life so painful.
He didn't understand the diagnosis then but he began to research in his teens and still says it helps to know why and how he operates differently, especially n social situatons.

Izabella Sat 27-Jul-19 09:09:17

Good post Iam64 Early intervention is seen as either enabling or labelling depending which side of the fence you are on. However, early support and correct input helps these children beyond measure. It will still be a hard road for the parents though and they may still have to fight their corner for services and funding.

MiniMoon Sat 27-Jul-19 10:25:24

My daughter has just had an autism diagnosis at age 36! She had herself tested as all of her children have autism spectrum disorders. They are all lovely children with their own individual personalities and interests. My granddaughter is very musical and sporty, she plays guitar and violin, she has her own kayak and has joined the local club. Grandson 1 is into nature and all things animal, he has spectacular meltdowns, but has regular sessions with CAAMHS which are helping him with his anxiety. Grandson 2 is interested in all things mechanical and electrical since he was a toddler. At 9 he is behind in reading and writing, but is catching up now, because he has realised that it would be useful!😊 Grandson 3 has ADHD, he is highly intelligent, at 6 he understands how the universe works.
Don't worry about your 2 year old. He is his own person, he's not disabled, he's differently abled. Love him for who he is, he will surprise you. Mine do every day.

Summermary Sat 27-Jul-19 10:28:37

My Grandson 9 has Aspergers and ADHD. Diagnosed at 4. He is a wonderful quirky bright little boy. We have found out as much as we can about the conditions. Did have good support at school- until this past year. His main issue is keeping friends as his behaviour can be odd to them. I would not change him in any way. It’s a day at a time 😀

Alygran Sat 27-Jul-19 10:54:01

Lovely to see positive stories. I am a trustee of a charity (in North Yorkshire) which supports parents and Carers of special children so have seen the difference peer support and good information can make. Check in your area to see if there is something similar.

ninathenana Sat 27-Jul-19 10:54:15

I wish my son had been diagnosed as a child. He's now 28 and was diagnosed at 23-24 we knew he wasn't atypical but were ignorant about autism. I feel an earlier diagnosis would have helped him. We were all (including him) relieved when told.
He is intelligent but really struggled at school and was bullied and under achieved.

lemongrove Sat 27-Jul-19 10:57:15

Sielha My DGS had the diagnosis early on too, which actually helped us all ( and him).
It’s a rocky road for the family I won’t deny, but if you all pull together on it and read read read all the literature out there on it, and perhaps join a local autism society then you have a better chance.In any case,because the spectrum is so wide, and character also plays a part, no two children with autism are the same.
He will develop with your help.😀

EllanVannin Sat 27-Jul-19 11:20:07

It's hard work as they get older. I was looking after 3 GGc this week, one of whom has ADHD. It was a late diagnosis and she's now 11 but very difficult for me to cope with. She has the attention span of a gnat and there's no reasoning with her at all. She does attend a special school and is not backward. My instinct is to give her a thick ear because the disruption she causes in the household is horrendous, destruction too.
While she was here with me I was constantly pulling her up about her behaviour towards myself and the other two children and in the end she climbed over a high garden gate and ran all the way home. Didn't like being told !!

She wanted to do what she wanted, by hook or by crook and her sheer determination to get away, won as I was left helpless to do anything. The child knows exactly what she's doing, she's incorrigible. The medication isn't working that's for sure.

Sielha Sat 27-Jul-19 18:51:10

Thank you again for all the replies. Yes Izabella, I agree that there is a bit of a dilemma with enabling or labelling. There is fortunately a lot of support in our area and I think the early diagnosis is the best thing, all things considered. I suppose there is just a fear of the unknown but everything I read seems very positive and encouraging. I think when he is able to speak properly, that will make a huge difference and he is starting speech therapy in a couple of weeks. Can’t fault the NHS for all the support there’s been.