You're married and...

Happy to dump my maiden name, it was foreign, and I was mispronounced all my way through school, thanks grandad Then when I married the first time took my ex's name, which was French, and I was mispronounced through my working life. Married again and took my husband's English surname, not that common, so we were continually spelling it on those occasions when name is asked for. Some years later, a celebrity emerged with the same name, a bit of a knobhead slightly annoying person so now when we have to save spelling it, we just say "same as ---" He's well known in the states too where we've been quite often, and one of the check in staff at a hotel asked us if he was a relative "no thank God came the reply"

I don't mind if my married name is prefixed by Ms or Mrs, not bothered.

Having said all that I understand why women retain their maiden name for work, I'd probably do that now.........then again maybe I wouldn't cos I'd be forever spelling it.

My sister's DIL calls herself by her maiden name but I've never asked if she's Mrs or Ms.

For the sake of argument she's married to Fred Bloggs and she's Freda Smith.

The child has both surnames - Jane Smith Bloggs.

A rather awkward situation occurred when after divorce and remarriage, the ex wife's new husband wanted to change his name to her ex husband's name. The ex was rightly indignant and tried to stop it happening. She wanted to ditch the husband yet keep his name! A bit cheeky IMO.

What's cheeky about that? Surely it's her name? (unless you believe that wives are chattels of their husbands). The ex sounds really controlling

Professional reputation that should say.

I still get looked up and get enquiries for a business I folded about 10 years ago. If I was still in that business and changed my name back I would have lost business there potentially!

A rather awkward situation occurred when after divorce and remarriage, the ex wife's new husband wanted to change his name to her ex husband's name. The ex was rightly indignant and tried to stop it happening. She wanted to ditch the husband yet keep his name! A bit cheeky IMO.

Whats wronv with that?

Lots of women keep their married names after divorce (they may have built a professional qualification or have been published or had children with that name) and if she meets a new husband who wants to take HER current surname, it is absolutely none of het exes business... unless he is a piece of work who thinks a wife having his name gives him control over it and her?

I dont think the two are connected:

You can take your husbands name and be Ms
You can keep your maiden name and be Mrs.
Some people now go by Mx etc

Its really not confusing. The kind of people who say it is are the kind of people who will deliberately use the wrong name or prefix for years feigning ignorance despite having been corrected 17 times probably an intersection there with people who persiatantly misspronounce foreigners names even when they have a very easy name where the phonetics match English phonetics

I've been Ms since 1978, took my first husbands surname because I liked it and there's very few of us in this country and we are all related. Kept that surname when I married my last husband as I wanted to have the same name as my son's and their dad was fine with that and that's the name I'll keep till the day I die.

I like the Spanish way of keeping both strands. I think the Scandinavians do that too.

Whoever you take your name from it's some man surely?

I was married so long ago it was usual to become Mrs Hisname though I use my Christian name and surname and avoid any title.

On Scottish gravestones, the woman's maiden name is often recorded so that it might be: Jean Armour, widow of Robert Burns is buried here etc

My Scottish DiLs have their maiden name or other family name as a middle name. It makes doing the family tree a lot easier.

A rather awkward situation occurred when after divorce and remarriage, the ex wife's new husband wanted to change his name to her ex husband's name. The ex was rightly indignant and tried to stop it happening. She wanted to ditch the husband yet keep his name! A bit cheeky IMO.

Family history research is already shot in future due to the various ways to conceive. How on earth do you “name” a turkey baster as father? Anyway, I really wish this not taking your husbands name business had been around when I got married. DH has an awful surname, I have been lumbered with it for over 40 years. Would have loved to have had a choice.

I dislike having to use a title and prefer just to be Scribbles Lastname. If a prefix is essential, then it's Ms - I detest Missis! I am married, mostly use my husband's surname but occasionally my own, depending on the circumstances.

Ms, kept my ‘maiden’ name when we married 36 years. Ago. My husband kept his own name. Children have both names, not hyphenated. One took her husnpbsnd’s name when they married.
Rockgran, what makes you think it’s more difficult for holiday bookings, hospital appointments or bank details if married women don’t give up their name? It isn’t, nor should it be.

I'm very happy to be Mrs. (insert husband's name). It is much easier for holiday bookings, hospital appointments, bank details, etc. to be his wife in the traditional sense. Two of my friends kept their own name but it does cause problems sometimes. Each to their own but I think life is complicated enough. Mind you -I like the name but might have thought twice if I didn't!

I took DHs name and I suppose I am Mrs Thatname but more and more I go by Ms and I’ve recently changed my Facebook name to include my maiden name. My thinking is that my marital status is absolutely irrelevant to so many things. DD(20) has no intention of changing her name if she marries and I’m sure her children (should she have any) will decide what they want to do for themselves when it comes to naming their children.

At work when in doubt, I always use Ms.
I do refer to myself as Mrs, because I am, but only use the prefix if it’s required, I never wear a wedding ring

We have been together 43 years and married 5 years ago, mainly for financial reasons. I did not take my partners name and continue to call myself Ms Nortsat46.
I chose not to wear a wedding ring.
No issues have arisen apart (from some distant relatives who have commented at a couple of family occasions).
My partner has always supported my decisions in such matters.

I think it’s a completely personal choice and have absolutely no criticism of any woman either way. As for researching family history - records have just slightly moved on a bit in terms of how they are kept and where.

My daughter is the same as yours BBbevan. With her single name I think she is known as Miss. Her passport is still in her single name.

My DD has quite a responsible job. She began it long before she married and is therefore known throughout her industry by her single name. She has kept anything work related to that name. To all other intents and purposes she uses her married name.

When DD married our SiL took her surname. Our surname is practically unique while his is pretty normal. Like Septimia she was able to avoid the "Mrs" problem by having a PhD.

I took my husband's name some 40+ years ago, following accepted custom. Probably wouldn't now, but even then I kept my maiden name as one of my Christian names. Spent most of that time as 'Mrs', but have now solved the problem - or made things more confusing. We both went to university and did PhDs, so are both now 'Dr', although people who've known us a long time generally forget and I still often get called 'Mrs'.

'Ms' has its uses, especially if you don't know someone's title or if 'Miss' or 'Mrs' is not appropriate. Don't much like it, though.

I'm a Mrs with husband's name. Never worn a wedding ring apart from on the day of my 2 marriages. Got divorced from number 1.

However having a Spanish husband meant that both fathers and mothers keep their 2 surnames and any children born take the first surname of the father along with the first surname of mother. I rather like that idea.

So Juan Picasso Plasencia marries Maria Blanco Mesa. Baby of the 2 gets called say, Juanita. So it's Juanita Picasso Blanco. And so on and so forth.

That way children get a name from both parents.

I also dislike Ms. It is just awkward.

Widowed for over 25 years but still Mrs and still wear my rings too. Why not ? Hate the Ms bit.

I'm still Mrs, even though I'm divorced.....couldn't be bothered to change everything

My DD changed her name on FB etc but as far as bank accounts etc she has not bothered. Too much hassle I think. It is not a deliberate thing.

My DiL has completely changed her name which surprised me as I hate it - it reminds me of my MiL!!

Gonegirl, easier to research the maternal line!