Dad is 86 years old (we lost mum to cancer 5 years ago) and we are 5 siblings who live between 40 and 300 miles away.
The thing is Dad is getting more and more difficult to deal with. Since Mum died he has made little effort to get out and make friends despite offers from us to accompany him to men's groups (not interested) he has one family friend he spent a lot of time with but she now has dementia and its looking like she will be going into a home soon and i know he now finds it difficult to be with her anyway.
We all make the effort to see him when we can and he is often staying at one of our homes.
My brother was making efforts to get him into assisted living near him but it seems he does not qualify yet as apparently he needs a social services referral and anyway there are currently no rooms available. When brother explained this to him he said he didn't seem bothered, jut shrugged.
It's also been noticed by 2 of my siblings that he is sometimes sleeping downstairs, as he is getting unstable on his feet and that he sometimes smells (we think some nights he can't be bothered to climb the stairs to get in the shower or bed as he's tired or just not feeling steady enough) so he's just sleeping on the sofa and using the downstairs w.c.
He's also recently be diagnosed as having the start of cataracts. He is staying at my brothers this week and he tells me how rude and ungrateful Dad is being - I've heard this from another sister too.
Brother also said that he seems dis-interested in everything and wont make any decisions. In brother's words 'I could ask him if he wants to jump off the bridge and he would say if you think I should'
The thing is if we try to involve the caring services/social services we know he will go ballastic.
I really don't know what I'm asking here but just wandered if anyone has any advice
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