Wind relief!

I well remember Pilates evening classes some 20 years ago. We never spoke about it, but at each session someone would break wind (with those positions it's almost impossible not to!). Luckily, it was rarely me, but how things have changed!

EllanV ?

Phew what a relief for you GrowingOldDisgracefully. Sounds like you had a great time and all went well.

I've been windy all my life, even as a baby mum told me that I blew the talc off my freshly bathed bot, so there's no way I'm going to be bothered about it at this juncture.
Late husband was the same as we often played sweet music together, particularly after sprouts.

Maybe it's the reason I've remained widowed for 25 years ! I'd frighten any man away, or blow him away. But who cares ? Better than being crippled in pain for the sake of vanity !
It's worse when you try and hold it in as it finds a way out by squeaking up your spine and if you have a dog, its head goes on one side puzzled by the noise.

It would have been hilarious if I'd have been a Mrs Trump !

Well ladies, I've now had my few days away and can report that it all passed without embarrassment thankfully. I did not have to resort to tubes up the botty, applying wine corks strategically, or issuing gas masks or air freshener. I did down a couple of Senocaln the first evening before bed. Not sure they had an entirely damping-down effect but my friend was asleep before me so no audience for any evening performance! I did mention I suffered from touchy stomach and we agreed that we would avoid things like chilli for dinner! The second evening we had a great evening out, complete with a few glasses of falling-down water, staggered back to our hotel and both of us out like a light. And, the object of the outing being a day on a race track with our motorcycles was really good (still buzzing with excitement even now), so I think it was all a roaring success, so to speak. Thank you all for the suggestions and support, will now be looking forward to future such outings without getting the wind up about it!

Altogether now... "I'm forever blowing bubbles!"

I once tried to buy medicinal charcoal biscuits and could only fimd those sold for dogs. These should be okay as my son informs me all dog food in this country has to be safe for humans too.
Long ago when I was a nurse charcoal biscuits were regularly used for wind in the gut and could be ordered from the hospital pharmacy. It must be possible to obtain ingestible charcoal as I think they still use it for some sorts of poisoning.

One other thing we did to relieve flatus was pass a 'flatus' tube up the anus an inch or two, can't remember exactly but I think it only went up as far as the start of the rectum. The outer end was placed in a bowl of water so the release of flatus was could be viewed as bubbles.

Apologies for my tardiness in posting - do you eat a lot of sugar free sweets as these can cause excessive wind etc? I can't offer curative advice but wanted to mention a possible cause.

Well that's nice

Couldn't stand him.

I loved sir Tel.

?

Terry Wogan always used to say that its not the trapped wind you have to worry about its the stuff that gets away!

“Where’er you be
let the wind go free
A fart suppressed
Was the death of me!”

Thanks to you all for such a good laugh and also your helpful advice. Trapped wind can cause terrible stomach pains and I have tried several different “remedies” as I also get very bloated and although still quite slim, can look several months pregnant on a bad day!

A couple of the comments made me laugh out loud, especially the waiters who applauded when the husband let rip!

Now off for my daily walk - making sure I take a different route today!

Try Yakult. It balances the bacteria in the gut. My Mom says things are not so smelly when you drink this! Good luck.

Get yourself a friend with the same problem and have a competition! That's what me and my friend do and always end up in stitches, especially at the rippers! But we are a bit immature. When in other company we both act like lay-deez!

Someone told me that a hot bath releases trapped wind.

Gonegirl

One of my memories of my Grandmother marching around our garden every time she ate a meal. She trumped with every step she took and it used to send us into uncontrollable giggles.

Och just give her ear plugs!

There have been some deliciously wicked responses- corks, Indian meals and trumping down the road to name but a few!
In the spirit of FC61's Dad, here is my feeble offering:
There was an old lady from Bristol
Whose trumps could shatter cut glass crystal
However she tried
She just could not hide
The sound of her unsilenced pistol!

(I am that old lady from Bristol).

On that note, I'll apologise to those who dislike lavatory humour, and thank everyone for their suggestions. It's actually a shame really that a 'normal' process can cause such embarrassment but the responses from everyone have been a great help.

I have been to a large branch of Boots this afternoon, who seemed to have sold out of much of their relevant stock (is this such a widespread problem?), and a Lloyd's Pharmacy, and am now armed with a packet of Wind Settlers and a packet of Senocaln for IBS, which has peppermint oil in it. Couldn't find any charcoal tablets, so armed with what I have, and the decision to forewarn my friend so that she can put her head under the pillow if necessary, I am hopeful of a good few days away.

I have just tried Alexa's method. Perhaps it was too soon after my dinner because it only produced a burp. Might try it again later.

Now I just have to suck my pelvic floor back up.

I’ve always been pretty windy but mine our loud but honest, don’t smell

I have a friend who has the same problem and if we go on a 'girly' weekend and we share a room we just giggle about it! I don't have a problem with it at all, in fact, it's very liberating, knowing that should I ever be in the same predicament (I very rarely suffer from wind) then I won't have to be embarassed!

This made me giggle, I’d say charcoal tabs

Kefir might help - they sell it in the supermarkets or you can make your own.

www.yemoos.com/pages/milk-kefir-overview