Love letters ?

We are all different but I would not want any letters I have received ,of an intimate nature, to be read by anyone else. Reluctantly they are destroyed.

My husband and I burnt our letters a few years ago.... they were very personal to us and we certainly didn’t want anyone else to read them.... we felt that was the right thing to do... and have no regrets.... hope that helpsX

Don't be too precious about your letters, I think it's wonderful for your descendants to see how much you loved each other. And be careful what you throw as there could be some really great social history or family information there.

I have a whole suitcase full of old letters between my parents, plus some family ones from the 1930s. I am reading them and making notes on the computer as I go along, keeping a few interesting letters back for posterity. I plan to shred nearly all of them because there are just too many.

However, you can photograph them or scan them and insert the image into a document saved with a private password. You may need help but this is a fantastic way to save private paperwork. Keep them in a folder called 'Archives to Delete' so it can all be deleted with the press of a button when you're gone.

I've sent you a private message tanith.

When we tidied our attic some years ago I reread and destroyed letters from DH. I really did not want DC to read these very personal letters from a relationship that has lasted 56 years.
I have kept every card from my immediate family but I think it is propbably time to let them go now.

The only letter I had of my parents was the one my dad sent to my mum when I was born. It was so full of love and excitement about the future and gave an insight into their lives back then. I was unsure what to do with it - part of me wanted to put it in with my mum after she died (Dad had gone 2 years previously) but part of me wanted to preserve it for future generations. I compromised and scanned it before putting the original in the coffin with her. I also had a small heart shaped broach with pictures of her mother and her fiancé who was killed in the war before she met my dad which was very precious to her - I put that in too but also copied it for posterity.

I think the letters I have in a box in the loft written between my husband and I really should be burned though - we were 15 when most were written and it's pretty trivial stuff but not what I would like my family to read when we're gone

As a collector of oral histories, I am deeply grateful for those people who spoke to me at length about their feelings and emotions.

Some of them had very touching letters, written often in sad circumstances but they acknowledged this to be history not just their own but of interest to others too.

Have you ever read the Mass Observation accounts? Or Doreen Bates book about her wartime affair?

Or any of the books which talk about letters from the past? Fascinating stuff.

Of course I fully understand there may be some parts of some letters which are very private and that's fine - take those out but PLEASE keep the rest for the sake of family history.
Your descendants will love them.

Both the UK and NZ have archives which will take people's diaries; they hold stocks of wartime letters which historians use (with tight rules about privacy).

Where would history be if we destroyed it all?

Carib
It would be better to make a separate thread, and I'm sure you'd get some reassurance.

I agree with Doodle.

You could photograph them and upload them to a computer in a passworded file, so that you can read them when you want to, but nobody can do so after you're gone. If you want to, you could ask a trusted friend to delete the file for you.

Septimia my mother had a collection of letters from my father. She told me that she wanted them destroyed, unread, after she died which is what I did. I'm not sure I would have wanted to read them, not my business. I did find an entry in an old diary which told me when and where I was conceived (Worthing, one September when my father was on leave) which was quite fun.

My Daughter in law is 10 days overdue with 2nd baby and not due for induction until Tuesday. I am feeling very anxious tonight as don’t know anyone who has been this overdue. Can anyone reassure me please?

My mum told me that she wanted all the letters sent and received between her and my dad destroyed. She asked me not to read them. As she died suddenly, she had no chance to destroy them herself, so I was left with her verbal instructions.

Although I was sorely tempted to see what was so private in them, I did as she asked. Once they were on the fire, the temptation was gone and I was satisfied that I had done as she wished.

I too have a pile of old letters that I wouldn't like to think of anyone reading, mostly from my husband, but a few from family members etc, all quite personal. It's three years since my husband died, so my plan is to wait until one day when I'm feeling strong, have a final read through them and then have a little bonfire. It think that, as a daughter, I am glad I was never confronted by any old letters belonging to my parents, I would rather not have had to deal with them. I owe it to my daughters to get rid of anything too personal.

Thankyou Doodle ?

I think love letters are private and only the two people involved know their true meaning. I would not like anyone to read mine.

After my Auntie died and my sisters and I had to clear her house we came across a package of love letters tied together with a pink ribbon, from her late husband. He was in the Navy in the war. We were so sad as if we knew they were there we would have had them cremated with her. We did cremate her with a photo of her late husband. In the end my sister just shredded the love letters.

goldengirl I have my reasons.

After I managed to breakaway from my controlling and somewhat violent husband, I found the love letters from his 'girlfriend' that he had previously hidden in my house.... came in handy they did, when I gave them to the solicitor who was dealing with my divorce.

It’s my diaries I wonder about. I’ve written in them since 1963. I suppose 90 per cent is trivial, everyday stuff, but the remaining 10 per cent are my innermost thoughts on my life’s major events.
I like being able to look back to verify dates and happenings, so don’t want to get rid, but also don’t want them goggled over in the fullness of time.

52 years Jangran - how wonderful !!

I burned mine when I moved here. Just as well. We are now divorced and he has married someone else. Words meant nothing .

I'm puzzled. Why does it matter if someone reads them when you're gone? You are not there to comment or be embarrassed after all and if my father's letters are anything to go by I'm glad he didn't get rid of them as they showed a very human and loving side of him

I burned mine as I don't want others to read once I'm gone but we are all different. Xx

Thanks it’s nice to read everyone else’s plans/ideas, I do like Nico97 idea, I’m going to give a bit of time and then decide.

I have some cards and poems that perhaps I wouldn’t want anyone else reading apart from my DD because I know she would probably think ‘typical of dad’. I think I’ll ask her anyway.