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Pub at Christmas

(105 Posts)
H1954 Tue 05-Nov-19 18:29:43

Whilst waiting in the supermarket queue earlier today I overheard a conversation between a couple of other shoppers. They were discussing Christmas and the subject of the "men" going to the pub on Christmas Day only to return home when the turkey needed carving.

My late first husband never went to the pub on Christmas Day despite being a very heavy drinker; it was something he never wanted to do.

So, I was wondering what fellow Gransnet members had to say when n the matter.

B9exchange Tue 12-Nov-19 09:27:09

Never heard or thought of going to a pub on Christmas day until our daughter married a Yorkshire man. It was his custom, and he still disappears down the pub, forgets all about the time, and comes back to a ruined dinner. They have now split up, but still spend Christmas Day together, the only difference is that DD and GC now go with him, and have got used to bone dry turkey. Whatever floats your boat!

Scentia Mon 11-Nov-19 23:08:28

My dad was a big drinker and on Christmas Day he would gather us 4 children up in our new clothes and take us off to the pub whilst mum got the dinner ready. We were even allowed a glass of sherry. My dad would have a lot to drink, bring us home, eat lunch then fall asleep till tea time. We had a house full at tea time and if the pubs opened he would have gone adding, fortunately he had a house full of drink do didn’t miss that one night off.

sarahanew Mon 11-Nov-19 20:55:06

I am a regular at my local pub. A couple of Christmases ago I was lucky enough to have my three grown up children, heir partners and my grandchildren at my home for lunch. This doesn't happen too often as they have to split themselves between me and my ex and their partners split families and gets complicated. Anyway they were going on to their Dad's for teatime. Once they'd gone on, I did the washing up (I'd told them to leave this as I said I'd have nothing to do after they'd gone!!) I then had another helping of sherry trifle on my own for 'tea' and then went up the pub until the earlier hours. There were a few people escaping their families, some couples without children or with grown up children, people out with their visiting families.. a real mix and everybody in a good mood. It was a great night

Nansnet Mon 11-Nov-19 02:35:33

When I was a child, I remember by grandad, dad and uncles all going to the pub at lunchtime, whilst my gran, mum and aunts prepared the Christmas dinner. Although, since I had my own family, and my parents came to me, the men never went to the pub, preferring to stay at home and actually enjoyed all the Christmas preparations. When my kids became adults, they never went to the pub either, and preferred to stay at home.

This year, for the first time ever, my daughter (who loves everything about Christmas!) is hosting us all on Christmas day with her partner at their home. Her partner's family (his parents and brother) have never been big on tradition, but they are all looking forward to their first massively traditional Christmas day. Her partner did suggest that perhaps the men could pop to the pub for a lunchtime pint ... she swiftly slapped him down for even suggesting such a thing, and told him that never happens in our family, and we'll all be enjoying Christmas drinks at home ... the women included! Good on her, I say! Start as you mean to go on!

Ukulele28 Sat 09-Nov-19 13:20:04

My father who wasn't a heavy drinker went to the local pub Christmas morning.
He'd go with my grandad, and my brother once old enough. They'd just have the one drink and be home within the hour.

My husband has never wanted to go to the pub Christmas morning, but instead would take the kids to the park. Whenever we had snow he'd take them to the heath with the sledge. Any house guests would also go, and I enjoy the peace for an hour or so before they all arrive home.

TerriBull Thu 07-Nov-19 19:57:29

I can certainly remember my kids going down the pub, I can also recall from them ringing us from said pub and asking us to join them.........."err no, we're cooking the dinner, someone has to" hmm

M0nica Thu 07-Nov-19 19:29:30

MissAdventure, spot on.

MissAdventure Thu 07-Nov-19 18:23:58

Of course never having been near a pub on Christmas day, I expect a lot of people don't know that whole families go there.
Usually just for an hour or so, all dressed up and happy.

Must be very wrong, somehow.

M0nica Thu 07-Nov-19 18:11:05

I suppose that may be the point of some visits notanan2, but for most people the pub visit is usually about conviviality and being in a wider communal group and sharing the Christmas feelings with others, rather than consuming vast quantities of alcohol. Lets face it, a lot of alcohol is consumed on Christmas day, but mostly in people's homes.

For some people, I suspect most, the Christmas lunch time pub visit is par of a long family tradition, dating back to the days when women cooked the Christmas lunch and were glad to get the men out from under feet while they did it.

As for if you can't stay with your family on Christmas day of all days, well Christmas day can be very full-on, even in the most loving of families. I have been known to go out for a walk on my own on Christmas day, just to get a breather and DD who is a very self-ccontained has been known to retreat to her bedroom, for an hour or more, not because she (or I) cannot bear to be with our family but she lives alone and until recently worked alone and lots of people all around can be overwhelming when you are not used to it.

notanan2 Thu 07-Nov-19 17:57:01

I think if you cant stay with you family on Christmas day of all days, because you're itching to go to the pub, you have serious issues!

Different if everyone goes or you're there for lunch. But if youre recruiting a splinter group because you cant last the day without going, that is bad!

notanan2 Thu 07-Nov-19 17:48:58

Urmstongang he just uses people to justify his drinking, but the reality is that he cannot get through a day without it so his offers of a quiet chat or celebratory drink are incinsere, as he has no interest in chatting/celebrating with you without alcohol!

Urmstongran Thu 07-Nov-19 17:32:21

The enablers in the family just think he's the life'n'soul

Maybe he’s FUN to be with notanan2 ? And instead of thinking of them as ‘enablers’ perhaps they are more than willing participants!

notanan2 Thu 07-Nov-19 17:14:49

Oh I have a family member who has a "tradition" of taking whatever other menfolk are visiting for christmas to the pub, and makes a big gesture of paying for their rounds....

.... mind you, he always finds "reasons" for going to the pub..all year round... and the reasons never admit that he cannot get through a day without going to the pub.. its always to have a quiet word with someone, to celebrate his neighbiurs cousin's son's new baby and "wet its head", to help with quiz night for charity and so on

The enablers in the family just think he's the life'n'soul.

(Its not my DH thank god!)

Urmstongran Thu 07-Nov-19 16:43:05

message M0nica Thu 07-Nov-19 10:22:53

I liked your post MOnica
??

52bright Thu 07-Nov-19 16:30:53

I know that some people, especially some teenagers and some people without children don't mind working in pubs on Christmas day. In fact some enjoy the atmosphere and the tips can be good. However I do think that those who work should be offered triple time. Especially those who are behind the scenes doing the cooking. They are often run off their feet, can't joint in the front of house joviality and often don't get the tips. Have had my Christmas dinner out a couple of times and the price has been astronomical. Fair enough if some of the profit is passed on to staff as I definitely wouldn't want to work Christmas day. If they have no choice on single pay whilst the Company makes a huge profit that's not fair.

SirChenjin Thu 07-Nov-19 15:03:45

Which is why I said “unless they’re genuinely offered a choice of working/not working what a shame for the employees who probably want to be at home with their families”

M0nica Thu 07-Nov-19 14:51:24

Many people are happy to work on Christmas day and most employers whose staff work on Christmas Day, often arrange shifts that enable employees to be home part of the day, morning or afternoon. Certainly DD's employer did everything they could to enable as many staff as possible to spend at least part of Christmas days with their families - assuming they had any.

Hetty58 Thu 07-Nov-19 13:52:15

We had a very nice Christmas dinner in a lovely pub a few years ago. I had a back injury, one daughter was heavily pregnant and the other lived in a smallish flat at the time. With extended family there were 30 of us - and everyone enjoyed themselves!

ginny Thu 07-Nov-19 13:48:41

Men in my family never went to the pub on Christmas Day. We were a family who all mucked in to make sure Monday did all the work. Same applies now.
The first time I spent Christmas with DHs family I was horrified that it was taken for granted that the men would go off to the pub before Christmas dinner and DH never has since.

Poppyday Thu 07-Nov-19 12:51:09

My dad went to the pub on Xmas day in the 1960s while mum and gran cooked dinner and got pissed on gin. I have male in-laws who still do it.

Barmeyoldbat Thu 07-Nov-19 11:01:50

My ex always did, that is one of the reasons he my ex.

SirChenjin Thu 07-Nov-19 10:29:14

I don't do sentimental, overly or otherwise M0nica.

If you read my posts I've already said that of course there are essential roles that have to be filled 365 days a year. Chugging beer (or whatever it is you drink) down your throat on Christmas Day - not so much. It's a shame for the staff who want to be at home from non-essential roles that one day a year.

M0nica Thu 07-Nov-19 10:22:53

Stop getting over-sentimental. Pubs and more and more businesses stay open on Christmas Day because the demand is there. There are thousands of people doing all kinds of jobs, some worthy and saintly, where people approve of employees having to sacrifice their Christmas and lots more working in pubs and the like.

If we were truly caring we would manage without gas,water and elctricity over Christmas so that employees could enjoy Christmas at home, not commit crimes so police could all do without working on Christmas Day, watch television without subtitles so that all subtitlers could have the day off. DD was a subtitler for some years and used to volunteer for the Christmas Eve/Christmas morning shift and New Year shift to be able to join us by lunch time on Christmas Day.

Pubs have been open Christmas lunch time since time immemorial as have hotels and other catering outlets. In a diverse population, Christmas is not part of many people's culture, especially among non-Christians. Many in that population are very happy to make the most of Christmas day by working. Others are happy to work because for them Christmas is nto a happy time.

If you want to be sentimental about people working on Christmas day, sit at home in the dark with an uncooked turkey, no television and open your parcels by candlelight - no do not do that, you might set the house on fire and need the Fire Brigade.

SirChenjin Thu 07-Nov-19 10:15:31

There are - and it doesn't make it right. Too many staff in non-essential roles are not given the option, they're forced to work and that's not right imo.

MissAdventure Thu 07-Nov-19 10:10:51

As I said, I haven't worked in a pub for years, but Christmas day was always decided amongst staff who didn't mind. (Plus it used to be double pay; I doubt it is now)

There are jobs all around the country where people work some, part, or all of the festive season though.