What shall I do?

I love looking after my granddaughters but they are a baby and a toddler and they wear me out, wouldn’t change it for the world.
Why don’t you either suggest doing for a few weeks and then if you’re managing just keep it going, or even say you’ll do it for 3 days a week?
Hope it works out for both of you x

Sounds very sensible. A bite sized trial until christmas is perfect!

I have been carefully reading through all your kind replies, thank you, and the overwhelming consensus seems to be to go for it. Sorry I have not been back to the thread earlier, but had to be earlier out of the door this morning for yoga, so a bit short of time.

I am thinking of waiting to see how DDil gets on this week before offering, so will sleep on it for a few more nights.

DGD would have to be delivered to me; I no longer drive and it is a 15 minute walk to their house and I'm not sure whether I fancy that now that the mornings are getting darker. It is also a 15 minute walk to school from there; about the same distance from where I live too.

I already pick DGD up from school two afternoons a week, give her tea and get her ready for clubs. The elder DGD is at secondary school now, and gets herself to and from school.

I think offering a trial run till Christmas perhaps(?) might be a good idea, but will leave it till Thursday and see what DDil's commute has been like this week, and say perhaps I could be of help, and then leave it for her and DS to discuss and decide. After all, they know DGD best.

Many thanks again for your wise answers.

That's what Grandmothers are for!! Gor for it.

I didn't mean that we are not involved in their lives when they go to senior school, but not as much in their school lives as we are when they're in primary school.

I would make the most of it, BlueSapphire

Yes! YES! Lovely time with GD. With the proviso that you can still take holidays. Enjoy

In your place I would certainly offer. If the offer is accepted you will see more of your grandchild and get more exercise and you DIL will almost certainly appreciate the offer, even if she doesn't accept it.

I would offer to do it for a trial period - maybe a month? You could then decide if you want to make a firm commitment, or let them look for an alternative. Do they have any neighbours who take their children to the school? Perhaps they would take it on for a small payment.

I would give it a trial run and make it known that’s what you would like to do to see how you get on, obviously you would like to help, it’s the only way of knowing,as I notice you say you will be walking that’s ok in reasonable weather but what about in bad weather, give it a go and good luck

The relevant questions I would be considering are:

Where is school in relation to your house/their house ie the logistics?
Would it be better for you to go to their house?
Do you want to be committed four mornings a week in term-time for the next two years; however you say they will be fairly flexible
Can your DIL change her hours?
Some assume that her hours should be flexible, but if she is, for example, a teacher in a different school and has a distance to travel, her hours will not be flexible
Will you be expected to pick up from school too?
They grow up so quickly and your DGD will be taking herself off to senior school before you know it.

I rarely get called on for fefching because other Granny is nearer but she and I often attend school functions in the day together as DIL and DS are not able to. We enjoy being involved in their lives and the school community, which all comes to an end when they go off to senior school.

I used to do this. Taking and picking up from school, and it was good for me. The exercise, the meeting up with other Mums and Grans. Nice to feel part of the system I thought, although it’s better in Summer!! ?

Would you be taking DGD to breakfast club or to school?
Theres obviously going to be a time difference and maybe dil would decide that you taking her to school (saving money) would be better - but is that better for you?
And what about after school?

Its something to think over carefully - deciding what you are prepared to offer and sticking to your guns. A trial sounds like a good idea.

Why not? Youve already thought it over,i dont see really why youre asking what we think..

First ask the parents whether it really would help, logistics may not be any better, and then offer!!! I am 74 too; it’s still young and it will keep you in shape and in contact with the very young. I did it for my now teenage granddaughters, the best memories EVER
for both, them and us. Admittedly Grandad helped too and took these amazing videos we are still laughing at now!!

You do right to think twice.
I am 65 and have done something like this.
I have taken my Grandchild to school across the city, love him and my daughter but it is difficult and tiring. It affects your day immensely.
Personally, she needs to plan better, it’s time for her to step up and make it work.
Offer to help occasionally of course, there will be many other ways you can support them - But hold onto your life.

Both my daughter and son in law leave for work at 7.30..... if I didn’t do this for them three times a week ...my grandkids would be in morning/ afternoon club which also would cost them a fortune. The other two mornings /afternoons they go to friends parents. They can’t drop off as I live in different area of town and they’re school is three miles from me. I don’t drive and either walk or cycle three miles then home....sort out my disabled husband....get lunch ...shove a wash load in...cycle back to get them from school , and cook them dinner , as parents don’t get in til 5.30 ish!!! Then about 6 I cycle home and get our dinner!! I fall into bed at about 9...It will certainly keep you fit!! It does me!! Do it...and stop skinning around in the dressing gown.! You’ll make a difference and that’s what it’s all about .

The best relationship I ever had with my GD was to and fro to school early mornings. Go for it, wonderful idea. And you don’t have to put a fancy face or glam rags on for the school run, just ordinary working clothes, and then have your shower when you get back, before a lovely proper breakfast

It’s a lovely offer, and chances are you’ll really enjoy it. Just make sure you have a system in place to cover if you’re unwell, or simply too tired. I have looked after GC while mum went to work. I think it was the responsibility that wore me down, you know, the emotional side, not the work itself. We are getting older after all, and we don’t have the same energy levels, particularly when battling with symptoms of menopause at the same time. My problem at the time of caring for my GC, was insomnia! The last thing you need. So just be wary of that. Don’t worry it’s open ended and could go on for ever, it might not, and if you can’t cope, just stop. GC are the parents responsibility after all.

Sounds like a lovely, kind idea.

of course you should offer - it's a win-win situation

That is exactly what I do now. I’ve never been one to lay-in, in the mornings, we are both out of bed at 6am shower washed and dressed breakfast, My husband goes off to his part time morning caretaker job. I drive to daughters house, she goes to work nice and early I help get the GC their breakfast / dressed then take them to school. At 4.30pm we collect GC from school bring them back to ours give them their tea. 5. 30 sil, collects GC from us. Works well and gives us valuable time with the children, I love it.

Yes! How lucky you are to be able to spend extra time with your granddaughter. I wish I could ! Mine are a four hour drive away !

Do it on a flexible two days a week for a trial period. It might be best not to commit straight away.

I used to take my two grandchildren to school and pick them up two days a week. Both their parents work full time and had a considerable distance to travel. Whilst I admit it wasn’t always easy getting up at 7 am I used to love seeing their bright little faces at the door. I would give them their breakfast and hear all their latest news. I would then pick them up from school and give them their tea before they were picked up about 6pm.
Fast forward 10 years and they are both in senior school. I still see them but they are, quite rightly, involved in their own lives now. I know both their parents really appreciated the help we and the other grandparents gave them. Even though there was the odd cold dark wet morning to face I am so glad I was able to help them. I had always worked full time but when my son was little we had no offer of help from anyone so my husband worked permanent night shift for years and we had separate holiday time off so there was always someone with him. There was definitely no breakfast club or after school club in those days. I wouldn’t have changed looking after them for the world. If we were on holiday etc my son/ daughter in law would always make alternative arrangements.

"He" I meant to say my grandad