I will try to be brief but it's complicated .. I have 2 DDs... one 27 the other 19 both now have left home ...
Younger daughter had a relationship with a thug/ thief/ drug addict and now has two children by him ....older daughter married recently and is just expecting her first child.
Very long story short DD2s ( now ex) partner we have recently discovered has been physically, mentally and verbally abusing her for the 3 years they were together ( she was 16 when they met ) ..we have had police involvement for a while but he was recently arrested for his most recent attack when it seemed DD2 had had enough after he tried to strangle her ....supposedly called time on the relationship after the arrest ....charges however were dropped due to insufficient evidence ( despite him having previous for abh / common assault to 2 previous girlfriends )
However it now seems he is back on the scene and it transpires that whilst they are "no longer in a relationship" ( DD2s words ) they still have sex occasionally ....
Social services are involved due to the nature of their past relationship ....
Anyhow ...at the weekend it came out in conversation between the two girls that DD2 was still having involvement with her ex ( he supposedly comes to see his two daughters which is the biggest load of crap out as he has no real interest in them ...he comes because he's trying to inveigle his way back in to my daughter's life as he is a narcissistic sociopath )
DD1 who has supported her sister esp just recently following the abuse issues has now said she wants nothing more to do with her sister whilst she is still allowing her partner to be around and is still having sex with him.....
There are two children involved here ....DGD1 who is 2 and DGD2 who is just 7 months ....And my eldest adores them ....she also as I said previously is now 8 weeks pregnant ....
For my part I don't condone what DD2 is doing but after involvement with a domestic violence advisor do understand she is like an addict ...her drug is him and like any addict Needs to be weaned off of him ......however to do that she doesn't need to be having sex with him !
My question ...my plea really is this ...it's breaking my heart ..the whole thing If I'm honest ...I've had to resort to anti depressants due to the nature of the past three years ( its way more sordid and horrid believe me but I can only tell you some of it ) but my girls not talking is the crux of my despair ...how do we move on from from here ?
DD2 can't understand why her sister wants to interfere in her life and doesn't understand her need to have this animal in her life ....DD1 Can't understand why she would want anything to do with him and can't keep putting herself through the ringer emotionally dealing with the fall out every time there is an incident with him ..... I totally get where my eldest is coming from but I can't walk away from my youngest who is like someone with Stockholm syndrome
We have Christmas coming up ...we have two little girls who love their aunty and who loves them in return but I don't know, as a mum what I can do ...should do ...if anything ...to help repair this damaged relationship.
Sorry it's a long one ...I just need help please x
Max14165 Thu 14-Nov-19 07:20:37
M0nica Thu 14-Nov-19 07:57:49
jeanie99 Thu 14-Nov-19 11:55:45
rosecarmel Thu 14-Nov-19 12:37:05
Bezelmoth Thu 14-Nov-19 12:43:38
glammanana Thu 14-Nov-19 12:55:10
Kathy1959 Thu 14-Nov-19 15:27:14
agnurse Thu 14-Nov-19 17:01:03
Max14165 Fri 15-Nov-19 11:11:25
rosecarmel Fri 15-Nov-19 12:33:07