I worry she has no playmates

It does seem a pity as you say your DGD really enjoyed it and started to make friends.

Will she be home-schooled when the time comes for formal education?

Hello Foxglove77 - I am confused by the “Attendance Allowance” issue. Do you mean that if they are sick they simply don’t get paid?

Attendance Allowance, as I understood it, is a benefit which helps if you have a serious disability - at least it used to be.

If it was my granddaughter (and the money aspect was not absolutely critical), I would want her to mix with other children, even if only once a week. Maybe you could have another chat with your daughter about this. The “Mother and toddler” type groups would be my preference as they are generally play focused. The other option is to visit “soft play” facilities etc - but really it’s nicer for little ones to see some of the same faces each week. I do think this helps them when they later are thrust into busy environments.

Good luck. I do hope your daughter will reconsider. Obviously small people are prone to catching colds so the risks are greater when mixing with other children, but frankly, she could catch a cold from you - or at the supermarket!

This has got rather silly. Remember when we were that age? There were no preschools or mother and toddler groups. Our mothers wouldn't have time left over to take us anyway (not after the walk to the shops, housework, washing done by hand, dinner cooked from scratch).

We generally turned out OK. MOnica feels that she missed out but many of us found the crowd at primary school a challenge. I missed out on being an only child - but never mind!

There's no hurry for socialisation (unless it's for puppies) and any teacher will know that in a few years there will be no difference between the stay homes and preschooled.

In fact, a local private, expensive (uniformed) preschool is much disliked by the teachers at the primary. The children arrive from it 'switched off' from the idea of learning, negative and disruptive, taking a good while to settle in.

BlueBelle of course she will be going to school at 5, she can't wait. My daughter works long and unsociable hours. I have given up my full time job to be her main carer until she joins the mainstream. I am so disappointed by all the negative comments on here. I thought working in an office was bad enough! Thank you to those who gave encouraging comments.

All I want to know foxglove is how the parents are going to manage in 18 months time when the little one goes to school or won’t she be sent to school
Because I was a lonely only school was my lifeline my whole socialisation came through school

Perhaps you could invite other small children to play with your little one occasionally. She doesn't have to be in pre-school but company and play with another child would be nice.
I love watching my DGD playing with her little friends.

Agnurse im so sorry of course it is none of my business! But feel free to add your opinion!

Callistemon quote "is this thread serious?" "is this one of those threads?". Sorry there is no conspiracy theory here! Life is too short!

My point was that this is really none of OP's business.

The only time that someone should intervene in a parenting decision is where there is clear evidence of neglect and/or abuse. That necessitates a call to the appropriate authorities.

Deciding not to send a child to a playgroup at age 3 does not qualify.

Therefore, the parents' decision is none of OP's business. How she feels about it does not matter.

I have no idea Bluebelle, although I said True of agnurse's post, I should emphasise that I agreed that the child was definitely not being neglected.

I expressed no real opinion on whether attending such groups is beneficial except to ponder if she might find it more difficult to socialise when she starts school.
I commented on the fact that germs will be encountered at some point in a child's early life - perhaps her parents could bring some home from work unless they life and work in isolation.

Curiouser and curiouser

I m very confused too callistemon a child can catch a cold from an adult as well as from another child A child can catch a cold in a bus, a restaurant, a playpark, anywhere
It all sounds so strange and where on earth did the taken into care or put in the at risk register come from ....this thread is gathering legs at a rapid speed

how many of us have memories of being age 3

Why are you worried then?
The essential thing is that she is safe, happy and with someone who loves her and she is enjoying being with you.

It's a shame she started making friends at playgroup but that is her parents' decision to stop her going.

I don't understand why you took her to a different playgroup and not back to the first one, where they may have got over their colds.

This just isn't making sense to me, sorry.

Ha!

I am not being judgemental in the slightest Foxglove.

Your post is not very understandable when you say that her parents' jobs are safety critical and they cannot take any form of meds and will lose attendance allowance
What does that mean?
You then go on to say that, after she caught a cold they have requested that she does not mingle with other children.

Then say she is not in solitary confinement in case her parents catch a minor ailment.

Well, I didn't say she was as she could catch a cold from anyone she comes into contact with.

I'm confused - is anyone else?
Is this one of those threads?

I might add, that a good relationship with supportive adults is certainly essential but from the age of 5 - 18 one spends more time with ones peers than with adults. I usually got on very well with adults, I was used to them, how their minds worked and what kind of response they wanted from me. Faced with other children, of any age, I was up the creek without a paddle.

agnurse I just know that I suffered from not mixing with other children except on very rare occasions until I was 5. faced with a bunch of children of my own age +/_. I knew no more of them than I would faced with a cage of small animals. I had no idea how to speak to them, what we would have in common or how to integrate with other children my age. How to mix with them in the informal way and how to build up friendships.

My first five years were spent almost exclusively in the company of adults and I assumed other children would act and behave like they did - and they don't.

M0nica

Actually, at this age, I wouldn't call those skills essential. This child is only 3 years old. She is only just reaching a point at which she is starting to understand that people other than her have feelings.

Keep in mind, too, that requiring children to play only with children of their own age is actually a very artificial distinction. First of all, in a family, unless you are one of a set of multiples, there is no other child your own age. Not to mention that in the workforce we don't usually require people of similar ages to work together. She's being socialized by being around her parents and other adults. In fact, the evidence is demonstrating that quality serve and return interactions with a responsive caregiver is the single most important factor in brain development for children.

Because everyone who DID go to playschool/preschool/nursery/playgroup is a social butterfy right?

Well, notanan I have several times said how spending my very early years in such a situation affected me. I am very much doubt if I was/am unique in this so it could affect this child.

There were plenty of adults in my life, three adults and a younger sister at home. More grandparents with a large family of young adult aunts and uncles always around and willing to spend a lot of time with their two little nieces and cousins a bit older than me whom I saw only on occcasion as they lived some distance away.

But none of this fills the gap of socialising and learning the instinct social skills within a group of similar aged children. These skills are essential.

Callistemon how judgemental!

The thread is about my DGD mixing with other toddlers and whether she is missing out by not attending voluntary mother and toddler/pre school or whatever it is referred to nowadays.

Just to clarify she is not in solitary confinement in case her parents catch a minor ailment. Where is the shame in being a decent working parent? DGD is fully vaccinated btw, happy and healthy.

How many of us have memories of being aged 3?

The point is though that it is a decision for the parents to make.
And no-one else.

OP it might not be ideal but she is with you and you love her.
That is priceless.

There may be no benefit to catching chickenpox but I remember my children having it when quite young and coping well. My SIL wouldn't allow her children who were a similar age near mine. When they did get it quite a few years later they suffered much more and one had to be hospitalised.
There is a playgroup quite near where my GCs live.

The child is not in isolation!

It is taken out and about!

Just not to (entirely optional) concentrated groups of single age corhort preschools/playgroups etc

agnurse True
But I am inclined to agree that a child who is isolated from other children because there are no other children in the family and they spend all their time with adults could find it difficult to socialise when starting school.

And no I am not "anti" preschools.

Bluebelle

It doesn't matter what you, OP, or anyone else thinks of their parenting.

There is no indication that this child is being abused or neglected in any way.

Not socializing a 3-year-old with other children is hardly a reason for a child being placed in care or on the at risk register.

Therefore, it's none of OP's business.