Losing their grandparents

Thank you for coming back with an update

I have always believed in explaining to children, in an age-approproate way - because telling them nothing, or shrugging off their questions leads to all manner of problems.

Well done then to these parents who took the time to do this.

My father died recently. I was visiting my grandchildren last week and they knew he had died, but wanted to know where he was now. Not being religious, I was faltering over an answer when the four year old said "I know, he's in the freezer!" to which the five year old replied "No, he came out of the freezer and went into the oven". Obviously their mum had been talking to them about what happens to our bodies after we die. I hope this hasn't upset anyone, but I actually found it quite reassuring how matter of fact they were.

How very sad Lindey. My condolences to you all.

Sounds like a sad situation was dealt with just right for him. He will probably ask about things on his mind to do with his GPs at some point as time goes on

such a sad story, your poor son in law. You are obviously a loving and supportive family, so perhaps just keep talking about them and as the boys grow up they will know that they were loved. Yes love0c, a few people will hopefully give their own situation some consideration given this tragic loss of two loving people.

Made me sad reading this post. Two little children loved by their GP's and they loving them, then losing them. So many sad GP's on here being denied loving their GC and their GC denied loving them. Just hoping this thread makes some people think.

Small children are often very resilient when told in a matter- of-fact way. They are very sensitive to how the adults around them react, though. Most 3 year olds won't completely understand the finality- but will get the 'saying goodbye' part. Adults are the ones who really have trouble with it.

My friend told her daughter that her rabbit had 'Gone to heaven'. Her daughter was very upset and worried about getting it back, whether it had food, who was looking after it etc. It would probably have been much kinder to just show her the rabbit and explain about death.

Looks like the sad situation was handled really well Lindey.

My condolences for the loss to your family.

Got my generations mixed up there, forgetting we are the older ones. I meant harder for your daughter and her husband who will feel the loss more keenly than the little ones I'm sure. Your family sound loving and close and that's what really matters.

As they are so young it's probably best not to talk about it more than is essential, just keep an eye on them and respond when they show signs of missing them or wondering where they are. I'm sure you'll find they will not be adversely affected as time goes by because they are so young. At that age children are very adaptable to change because they don't understand the long term implications and are not thinking of all the years to come like you are.
I think it's going to be much harder for you to be honest, and I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

So sad Lindey.
Nankate, that shows it was on his little mind.

When our youngest grandson (3 at the time) was told his maternal grandmother had died, he made no comment. A few months later we were all on holiday and were walking through a botanical gardens. He went up to complete strangers and said ‘My gran has died’ and that was that.

Youngsters often take in more than we realise and deal with it in their own way.

Glad your grandchildren have accepted the sad situation Lindey.