New user? Old user? Lurker? We'd love your views.

And a great many of us are pleased that you are Phoenix ?????

Tangerine it was a few (possibly 3?) years ago, I'm hopeless with dates/time, but it happened! I still actually have the letter (my now deceased boss gave it to me) although I think that because I had posted where my new job was, it was reasonably easy for that person to look at the website and find my bosses name (quite renowned within his field) but still a remarkably nasty thing for someone to do, to someone they had never met and who had done them no harm.

GN HQ were brill, allowed me to change my user name to Anne58 (or something like that) but I thought "sod it!" and went back to phoenix.

perhaps it should have been enough to make me leave altogether, but the other side of the coin is that I had received so much wonderful support from other members on GN during my dark times (redunancy, job searching, crap jobs, seriously hard up to the point that I won't bore you with) so, I'm still here!

Very well said Mary.

I too have noticed how you have been singled out on different threads with sly digs and innuendo, but let us hope that now this will fade away and we can get back to discussion, questions, answers and lots of laughter and a few games for those you like them. Your novellas are legendary. I am looking forward to the next one. ?

I had held back from responding to Rufus' previous comments on this thread about me and trying to defend myself, as I didn't want matters to escalate and become involved in an online spat, which is irrelevant to and also would derail this thread.

However, after much deliberation, I now have no choice, but to respond.
Contrary to what has been hinted at, I am not responsible for any Rufus' posts being deleted.

Rufus, at no point have I named you personally, as the person I blocked.
I have already previously asked you politely, to leave me alone and stated privately, that I do not wish to engage with you. I am now stating it publicly.
I chose not to respond to you on this thread, in the hope that I would be left alone to enjoy the few threads I contribute to, none of them controversial, nor nasty.
Sadly this has not been the case and GN has been spoiled for me, as you continue to hassle me. That is my perception, whether you agree or not.

For those reading this, it is always wise to remember that there are two sides to any story, I just don't want to descend to the level of making personal and unkind comments about an individual.

I have asked GNHQ to monitor this thread, ( and they are) as it has become quite nasty and for me very upsetting.

Fortunately you can only really care about the opinions of those you know and respect, so in the brief moments between reading your random accusation and seeing it deleted, the intention to cause hurt was largely wasted.
Those who know me, know me.

I don’t enjoy doing that at all, never. I have compassion for others. But sometimes a taste of ones own medicine and all that. Be graceful.

So do you enjoy inflicting hurt experiencednotold ?
To know that the injustice and pain of your admittedly inappropriate comment continued to smart as you put it?

Question for Phoenix - how did that unpleasant person know who you were in real life?

I see my admittedly inappropriate naming was rightly deleted. But I hope it will receive the required consideration.
I find that it’s not the initial shock of an inappropriate comment that causes the damage, it’s when that hurt stays with you and continues to smart.

Sorry to disagree with whoever suggested that we get an alert when a new post has been added to a thread we have started (double apology, can't remember who it was and haven't time to go back through the posts) but that would be a NO! from me!

I have enough pings and dings from my tablet and phone as it is!

Easy enough to log on, go to the "I'm on" option and see what's new.

Agree with your post Rufus not passive aggresive at all just honest. Yes there is a clique on this site, who cares, its like that everywhere.

And, its inevitable that we 'know' each other if we have been around for a while. I have been around since the early days and recognise lots of names now.

I have been here since (literally) the first day that GN launched.

The occasional bit of bother, but NOTHING compared to the time when some rather unpleasant person copied, pasted, printed and posted a thread of mine to my boss .

The only possible reason that I can think of for that but of malicious behaviour was that they were hoping I would be sacked.

Nice, especially as it was a job I loved, after some pretty dire ones following redundancy.

Especially on the Good Morning thread, many new posters are welcomed so everyone I hope feels their comments are valued and enjoyed. This is the thread I would direct new posters to.

However every now and again we are wrongly accused of being a clique which we are not. Many of us know each other virtually and in reality, so that’s why we chat as old friends but we are always happy to add more members.

live7, when I see comments like 'I haven't seen you post here before - are you new?' as taking an interest and they are often followed by words of welcome. I have been known to use them and I'm not being nasty.

Como2020 I agree. My heart sinks when I see a thread about the Sussexes because we know how nasty it is going to get and how quickly.
There should be more active moderation of threads that are known to get nasty which are unfortunately the political and royalty ones.
I don't know how many people belong to Gransnet but there seems to be only a core of about 5 who cannot let an opportunity to be nasty about Megan pass they by.
Also like you I am wondering whether the unpleasantness that the many threads descend to is worth it. Because of the cliqueness, dogpiling does happen as does and is a hard thing to deal with. I will miss what it used to be rather than what it is now.

I've been a gransnetter for several years now, and post occasionally if I have something to add to a thread.

Agree with others that the boards can be cliquey which can be off-putting, but in the main there is a welcoming feel here.

It would be great if emails could be sent when other posters add to threads which you have posted on, otherwise you can forget which threads you are interested in.

CariGransnet I can't believe that you are surprised by the constant repetition in this thread of replies by people who have been put off by nastiness on the threads and sometimes personal attack.

You say you are post moderated and that we should report posts we think break the rules we will remove posts we believe to be obscene, racist, homophobic, contain personal attacks or break the law once they are brought to our attention. The trouble is that the personal attack angle is wide open to interpretation and my experience and that of others, one of whom commented earlier on this thread earlier, is that the tolerance towards personal attack is much too broad.

It carries the same problem as the debate about what constitutes bullying which has been raised. Maybe you should give an example of what kind of personal attack you might consider going too far? Not name calling, which is obvious but where there are snide comments and sly digs. And how far is one allowed to reply to such comments, often the unpleasant person in question will be supported by one of her cronies, I've seen it happen too often. No wonder people lurk and don't comment!

Come on in varying degrees in phases but normally 2/3 times per week.
Rarely comment but normally because I haven't much to add that's different. Do think some people are very rude and don't understand why - you can disagree with someone but put it in a pleasant way. Love some of the ways people listen and encourage or comiserate with others. Feel uplifted myself by reading some posts that help me or make me feel like I'm not the only on struggling with something.
Have never started a thread. Im more likely to comment if I feel its something I have experience of or if i have a bit more time!
Csn feel a bit strange when people obviously 'know' each other and a few comments come like : haven't heard from you before, are you new? and would put me off.
Agree with someone further up - if you're not interested in something /got nothing positive to say then go on a different thread

Well said Kitty.

I too dislike the false bonhomie and the sly digs.

It reminds me of school if someone said something unkind and was challenged their response was ‘I’m only joking, can’t you take a joke’.

Stop being so passive aggressive, rufus.

And,as mary says, we dont know what goes on in people's lives so kindness to everyone should be the rule.

I get bothered by comments that say things like 'come on girks' 'wise women of gn' etc. We dont have enough me as it is without ignoring the ones we do have.

I've been here from the beginning.

I'd also like to see more granddads here.

I also think that things can seem a bit "cliquey" to an outsider.

I only post on some threads and avoid games and cafes etc.

I generally find it enjoyable. My personal gripes are:

- posters not sticking to the thread title and going off on their own tangent.

- posters becoming aggressive very quickly and throwing personal insults about if a another poster dares to have an opinion that doesn't agree with theirs.

- posters who do not separate out paragraphs, making the post difficult to read.