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Feeling lost

(17 Posts)
Parky Sun 19-Jan-20 12:15:36

I know this may sound pathetic. But my much loved border collie has died unexpectedly, although he was 12 years old.

He was such a big part of my life, I've retired, every day revolved around him and he was my shadow always following me around the house. I was walking him for at least 2 hours a day, now there is no reason to walk. Just can't be bothered.

We are away in a month so feel as if I'm in limbo until then.

ladymuck Sun 19-Jan-20 12:18:56

It's not pathetic at all. Those of us who have lost beloved pets know just how you feel. It takes time to come to terms with the emptiness.

Squiffy Sun 19-Jan-20 12:28:10

It's not pathetic! It's how we all feel when we are dealing with the loss of a much loved pet. Apart from anything else, your daily routine has changed and it takes a while to get used to that and adjust. flowers

timetogo2016 Sun 19-Jan-20 12:31:01

Ah bless you Parky.
Times a good healer and he will always be with you you only have to think of him at your side and that will make you smile.
When I lost my cockatiel I cried for days she was about 12 too.
I keep a photo of her in my bag to this day and she died over 15 years ago.
Your`e bound to have one so do the same.

ladymuck Sun 19-Jan-20 12:34:49

People who don't have pets, don't seem to appreciate how attached we become to them. We know their lives are much shorter than ours, and we will have to deal with their deaths, but you are still losing part of your family and it can hurt just as much as losing a human.

lavenderzen Sun 19-Jan-20 12:39:44

I'm so sorry for your loss Parky. It is not pathetic at all. Our pets are a major part of our lives, and you are grieving for him. I know how you feel. It never gets any easier.

I have photos of my darling boy who I lost last year all around me, and one in my bag and he goes with me everywhere. You will think about the happy times with him but cry and think of him. He had a wonderful home with you and was much loved.

Sending you (((hugs))) flowers

timetogo2016 Sun 19-Jan-20 12:42:17

Agree 100% Ladymuck.
Be it a tiny mouse to a horse they are family whom we love .
People who don`t have animals can`t possibly understand how we feel Iv`e cried for animals that weren`t even mine but friends and we feel their loss too,and vice versa.

Gin0rW1ne Sun 19-Jan-20 13:14:19

Sorry to hear this. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. You just need to let the grief takes its course. Dogs wrap themselves around your heart, I adore mine too. Be kind to yourself - it's been only days x

mumofmadboys Sun 19-Jan-20 13:15:03

We lost our 15 year old dog last July so I know how you feel Parky. Your dog was loved and had a happy life. We can give them no more. Try and get out for a walk each day without a dog to keep up your exercise. Things will improve.x

Luckygirl Sun 19-Jan-20 16:13:42

I am sorry to hear this. I am not a doggy person, but absolutely understand that a big chunk of your life has now gone, and I am not surprised that you are feeling bereft.

Parky Sun 19-Jan-20 17:54:56

Thank you all so much for your kind comments and for not saying "get another one"

phoenix Sun 19-Jan-20 18:05:38

I have said it on here before, and as an animal lover and owner, I will say it again, losing them is the price we pay for loving them, and the love they give us.

If you have given your pet a good life, and (if possible) a good death, then you have done the very best you can for them.

Losing them is so hard, sending you every good wish Parky flowers

Kalu Sun 19-Jan-20 18:25:41

I understand completely Parky. Pets have always been a big part of my life, especially Yellow Labs. which, being a popular breed, I saw so many out and about. Each sighting,initially, was just a reminder of my own lot, no longer here and upsetting.

Took me a long time to come to terms with, there was no dog, lying in a favourite spot, sharing a cuddle etc.

I would dearly love another dog and to hear, just get another one, although kindly meant, is the last thing I want to hear.💐

Patsy70 Sun 19-Jan-20 18:57:00

So, so sad for you, Parky. I know what it is like to lose a much loved pet. Our Penny, a rescue dog, passed when she was 16, of old age, and had been with us for 15 years. We waited for 2 years before deciding to adopt another rescue dog, and he is a delight. This might not be the answer for you, but in the meantime you could walk other dogs, be it friends or from a local rescue kennel. You need to fill the gap that your beloved dog has left, but still you will grieve for him. flowers

endlessstrife Mon 20-Jan-20 16:43:25

Aww, it’s not pathetic at all. They’re members of the family after so long. I’m not partial to dogs particularly, but understand the concept of losing a pet. I’ve cried over many hamsters, gerbils, rabbits. They were perhaps more special, because they were special to my children. I hope you soon feel better.

Hetty58 Mon 20-Jan-20 16:52:59

Parky, it's a sad loss and a big change to your life. My neighbour recently lost her dog. She still joins our group for the morning walks as it's been part of her routine for 16 years.

Tedber Mon 20-Jan-20 17:08:00

ABSOLUTELY understand (have lost several dogs and cats) Just go on the Pets forum and you will see many people feeling exactly same. I have posted on there. I lost my wonderful, amazing mum a year ago. Three months later I lost my best friend and a month after that I lost my beloved ginger tom who wasn't old! I couldn't honestly say any was worse than the other!! My grief for my cat was as acute as that for my mum and friend.

You WILL get over it but it is like any bereavement - it takes time. Eventually you still feel sad but it gets easier to remember. Thoughts are with you x