Redundant mum and nana

How about volunteering with a cause that is close to your heart?

You say you feel guilty about hobbies but really you are lucky to have found something to enjoy.
Join a local group, go on a day course or a weekend maybe.
Some hobbies have holiday potential (eg, painting in the south of France or glass working in Murano).
If you are comfortable financially you would probably be able to extend your hobby and learn new things.

Someone I know went to university and did a textiles degree! She loved it and produced some fabulous work.

Never feel guilty about doing things for yourself - having that time will give you new energy to start doing the more "useful" things. Whether it be learning new skills at U3a, volunteering at a charity, visiting neighbours etc etc.

One thing always leads to another. Also, smile and remember all those children (your own and other peoples) who are now living independent lives because of your nurturing.

Don't feel guilty about 'me' time. Just potter, and do things that make you feel,good about yourself - whatever that may be.

I'm afraid grandkids do grow into teenagers and then don't need us so much...this I am discovering for myself. Just give yourself time to adapt, it may take a while.

Thanks to all the lovely GNs who replied. I do feel better and I know I must move on and do other things. I can't look after demanding children for ever! Sending to you all

Is there a local U3A group? You may find something of interest there. ?

It's part of this:

www.thetogetherproject.co.uk/songs-and-smiles

Volunteering locally can really fill that gap in your life.

Here, there's a lovely music and singing group for young mums and babies/toddlers who visit care homes weekly for a singalong. The coordinator is a volunteer.

Find something local that's of interest to you.

Not idleness!!!

Don't feel guilty! It's good for you, and gives you things to talk about when you get together with your family. Enjoy!

Thanks everyone! I have felt bad about spending times just pottering, enjoying hobbies. I have always been so busy that now it feels like idleness

Coach trips in UK or abroad are good - you virtually get picked up from the door and everything is organised for you - it is a good way of putting a toe in the water and seeing some new places.

You could also look at local organisations to join: U3A is everywhere in the UK and they have lots of interesting things to do.

Or you could learn a new subject or language online - all free.

So much you could do! - but the first step is to gt your mind round the idea of your new freedom!

I guess the choices are to do things for yourself; or to look for opportunities to do things for others - or maybe a balance of the two?

I think mothers do find it hard to turn off the caring/nurturing role; but you need to tell yourself that it really is OK to do things that are just for you!

Thanks. I would like to spread my wings now but after 50 years of childcare, which I have enjoyed, I need to move on but no idea what to do

Go to the Volunteers Register for your local authority. They have lots of volunteer opportunities there. As well as schemes to go into schools, a lot of areas have volunteer family supporters, who visit and help struggling families. With your experience of childcare and bringing up children on your in, I would think they would welcome you with open arms.

Or do you want to do something entirely different?

Thanks Tedber. I married young and had my first baby at 20. My DH died 21 years ago and I have spent all that time caring for my youngest daughter and grandchildren

See if you can volunteer at the local school? Quite often need readers x

I feel sad reading posts like this AGAA4. How old were you when you had your first child? Did you have any life pre-children? Do you have a husband/partner/friends? Did you have any interests of your own or were did it all revolve around children?

As much as I love my (big) family and they are all still very young....I absolutely LOVE my ME time!

Now I am (partially) retired I have stated to all family, I will help whenever I can but this is my time now! I love visiting different places and museums/art galleries/theatres (so much better now I have a bus pass lol) I often go alone even though am married as husband working still, or arrange to meet up with friends. If funds allow I love booking short breaks away (just been to Lake District for 2 days on my own very good deals in January) Also take daughters dogs out a lot - walking. Meet lots of interesting people.

Absolutely no need to feel your usefulness is over. Take time to enjoy your freedom and plan your enjoyment.

IF you feel you cannot enjoy life without children, how about volunteering at a local hospital or hospice?

So many things to do...you just need to have a change of attitude.

You can DO IT......