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Getting more stressed as I get older. Just me?

(33 Posts)
HettyMaud Wed 22-Jan-20 14:12:16

I often feel stressed but there's no need really. Stress about my 95-year-old mother, stress about my GS, worry about silly things like planning the evening meal. And as for planning a holiday... well, it's SUCH hard work. It's ridiculous. I used to be the most chilled-out person around. I wonder if it's because I've got too much time on my hands. I seem to worry about silly little things which wouldn't have fazed me one bit in my youth. Looking back I don't know how I ever did the things I did.

storynanny Sat 01-Feb-20 11:11:27

I get more anxious than I used to, mainly stuff to do with adult children and decisions I’ve no input over! Had a new washing machine recently which caused a leak during installation and the anxiety it caused me was ridiculous. I took Citalopram for a couple of years during “menopause/ stressful job/insomnia/travelling the country twice a week for elderly parents/ children moving abroad years” and have recently thought maybe I need to take it again.
It was a help with with everything except the insomnia which I still have.
I’m trying really hard to stay calm about trivial stuff, because of course the leak was fixed with very little problem.

oldgimmer1 Sat 01-Feb-20 10:48:16

I find work more stressful.

I think technology has made life very full-on.

I'm happy with technology but there's a Big Brother element to it which I find unsettling.

Because it makes everything quicker there's pressure to ramp up the productivity. And it's harder to have "warm" encounters. It's soulless. I feel more like a bean - counter than I ever did when I WAS a bean counter. grin

GrandmaMoira Sat 01-Feb-20 10:39:29

I definitely stress about things that didn't worry me when younger. I have panic attacks which I never had when younger. I find travelling stressful but I wouldn't have worried when younger.

Willynilly Sat 01-Feb-20 10:04:52

I think we fill the void left by work and children and tend to worry more...well I do. Travel stresses and tires me and I worry not only about my mother but also my children and grandchildren!
Yep, I’m a ‘whittler’ at heart.

Greyduster Sat 01-Feb-20 09:25:25

When I retired, I had the same can do attitude and spirit of adventure as I had always prided myself on having. As DH and I have trundled into our seventies, although both physically fit, everything - even mundane things - seems to present an enormous mental challenge to me, so that I “whittle” (good Yorkshire word) inwardly about things constantly. I am mistress of the art of “what if!” I bought my SiL a mug bearing the words “Stop tha whittlin’; it’ll be allreet!” I should have bought myself one to carry around with me!

BlueBelle Sat 01-Feb-20 09:23:05

I get much more anxious about things now I was never very decisive but now I am very much worse I dither around changing my mind I’ll do this, then no that’s not a good idea, then back to the first idea again Then I get uptight because I’ve changed it I hate feeling like this I just want to be able to make a decision and stick to it I’m also much much more anxious about travelling and especially long haul which I have to do to visit my son and I’m really not feeling that I’ve got it in me to do that trip again although I want to
Last time I went on holiday after the first week I was wanting to get home where I feel safe although I didn’t feel unsafe and was enjoying myself (unexplainable) I never ever thought I’d be like this as I used to love adventures and travelling and now it’s all become something I have to make myself get through
I doubt myself and my abilities I’m always waiting to make a mistake it’s a horrible situation to be in and I am consciously trying to change myself by making myself do things out of my comfort zone but it’s not easy
I suppose it’s a confidence thing I never did have a lot and it seems to have left me now

Harris27 Sat 01-Feb-20 08:56:45

I’ve always been a worrier and it has not got any less with age. The worries may be different but the stress of it still the same! My dad used to tell me to put my head in the pillow and go to sleep as there was nothing anyone could do at night. Oh how I wish I could do that I’d be a new woman!

Brunette10 Sat 01-Feb-20 08:38:19

I agree , where once the confidence of youth & bravado was enough to get by on....... age allows the glimmer of self doubt to creep in I am exactly the same but wish I wasn't. I doubt myself more or less about everything I do these days, it's just a terrible feeling. As far driving places when I was younger didn't give it a thought just got in the car with DD and drove to wherever now it's town driving only and not at night either. Hate motorway driving even when DH is driving, just always have the fear there is something going to happen. Cooking, I just get on with but don't have same socialising of friends which includes cooking dinner just have wine and nibbles now. Oh dear what happens to us confused

TwiceAsNice Sat 01-Feb-20 08:29:31

I’m not stressed but I do get anxious more than in the past, over some things I used to do without thinking about it. One example is driving somewhere I don’t know the way to. In my 20’s and 30’s it never occurred to me to be worried but it does now. I like driving but am happier going familiar routes

M0nica Sat 01-Feb-20 08:19:15

I am with sodapop, I have never been a worrier and I still am not.

I am old enough to look back on 70+ years of life, packed with potential worldwide, national and personal disasters, which either never materialise or which one gets through and continues on.

As for cooking or the like. I am no chef but I can always manage to put a big bowl of tasty stuff on the table that people are happy to eat.

I think being retired, with more time on their hands, many older people start sweating the trivia of life, in the lack of work and wider worries.

Greymar Fri 31-Jan-20 21:24:57

I am so stressed, it is making me ill. Mostly pointless worrying about 95 year old mother. At my wits end.

kissngate Fri 31-Jan-20 21:22:50

I've always been a worrier but def got worse as I've got older and OH is just as bad. I've never enjoyed cooking and recently friends have said they are visiting in Feb. Told OH it's either a takeaway or we are going out as the thought of making a dinner for them terrifies me.

Curlywhirly Wed 22-Jan-20 17:54:46

Oh yes, I can identify with this! I have always been a bit of a worrier and a stress-head, but am so much worse now. When I look back, I can't believe the things I did - brought up 2 children mostly on my own, as himself worked away every week for donkeys years; we also had a dog and I worked (20 hours per week, then upped it to 30 hours). Now, I am stressed looking after 1 year old DGS and I only have him 1 day a week and I am retired!

When my children were in bed, I used to sew nearly every night (loved it) and now marvel at the complicated and intricate garments and soft furnishings I used to make. Wouldn't dream of attempting them now; I don't even make my own curtains anymore, and for a dressmaker they are the easiest things to make! Also, used to love having friends round for a meal, but now worry so much about what to cook, I suggest we eat out instead.

Definitely need to give my head a wobble!

love0c Wed 22-Jan-20 17:43:55

Not at all sodapop. It's a good way to be in my opinion.

sodapop Wed 22-Jan-20 17:04:16

No just the opposite really. I have realised that I am a small cog in the machine of life and I can't change a great deal now. I try to help where I can but enjoy my quiet life in the country with husband and pets, let the world go by. Is that selfish ?

endlessstrife Wed 22-Jan-20 16:08:58

You’re definitely not alone. I’ve never been really chilled out, but am worse now. The evening meal thing I so identify with. I really can’t be bothered, I’d be happy with cheese on toast!

grannymy Wed 22-Jan-20 16:06:26

I have vowed that I will never try to be like my mum, who worries about EVERYTHING. It's very difficult at times to listen all of her trouble and woes when half of them aren't worth her worry. Especially when she thinks I have to be like her and worry about them too. It gets me down sometimes.

love0c Wed 22-Jan-20 16:05:34

HettyMaud you and me both. I get terribly anxious and panicky at he thought of going on holidays now. Even though I know I am fine when I get there. I do tend to go back to places I know. Far too fearful of going somewhere abroad I do not know. I have not been able to book a holiday this month due to fear. My husband is ok about it. Just come back from a few days away down south. It was touch and go as to whether I would go through with that! Really enjoyed it though. We have traveled all over in previous years but now I simply find it too hard now. I worry about anything and everything. Ridiculous but don't know how to stop it. I enjoy really good health so no reason to be like this.

Calendargirl Wed 22-Jan-20 15:53:54

When I was approaching retirement I said to a younger colleague “ I think when I retire, 75% of what I worry about will disappear” as work was quite stressful. She looked at me and replied “ You’ll find something else to worry about!”
That is true, it’s not work, but everyday niggles now. I try and make myself feel contented and glad for all my blessings, but then a worry pops up.....

SirChenjin Wed 22-Jan-20 15:48:15

rosecarmel - mine too! I veer between fascination and horror at the southerly direction my body is starting to take (whilst giving thanks that it’s still here)

Bridgeit Wed 22-Jan-20 15:42:09

I agree , where once the confidence of youth & bravado was enough to get by on....... age allows the glimmer of self doubt to creep in.
I think maybe we are a generation caught between ageing parents & young grandchildren & our own limitations are taking a hit.

grannymy Wed 22-Jan-20 15:36:49

I feel less stressed these days. I don't worry about half the things I used to worry about. When I think about the sleepless nights I had...........
Certain things worry me, but they eventually burn themselves out.
I do get stressed if my mum goes into hospital for weeks on end and it feels like everyone wants a part of me and I'm trying to keep everything going. There's little I can do about that though.

Dottydots Wed 22-Jan-20 15:33:38

I'm definitely stressed, right up to my eyeballs!

I make a decision about something, then change my mind, and later change it back again. I never used to be like this.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 22-Jan-20 15:27:24

I have felt the weight of being the eldest living family member since my parents have died.

Whilst I am flattered that I am the one my family come to with their worries and problems (sibling and half siblings included) I stress about their “shared predicaments” more than any of my own issues.

rosecarmel Wed 22-Jan-20 15:20:21

tits up .. smile Its true .. although it's been a while since mine were ..