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What can we do to help?

(193 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 22-Jan-20 16:27:56

On this thread a few of you mentioned that you felt cliquiness could be putting new posters off. We obviously want everyone to feel comfortable posting on Gransnet - old or new - without feeling they have to be part of any group. Is there anything we could do from our end to improve things? We're all ears...
And thank you everyone who contributed to the earlier thread. Sending virtual wine over to you all.

Pittcity Wed 22-Jan-20 19:22:44

Some forums etc. have ways of identifying new posters with a badge or similar.
Elegran would get a gold medal for her sensible, easily understood posts!
I don't find the forums cliquey at all. They may be challenging but are very welcoming.

NanKate Wed 22-Jan-20 19:44:31

As I said on a previous thread if anyone joins a new club whether in reality or online it takes time to become accustomed to the people and the way the club runs. It took me at least a year to feel part of my WI.

I would recommend new posters avoid political threads as these can become very nasty and also to avoid contentious issues e.g. when I first joined I mentioned the benefits of grammar schools as was totally shot down in flames.

Another suggestion is that if at all possible meet up in reality with fellow posters from your area. I have made some lovely friends that way.

In addition try and start some new threads. I get lots of ideas from my local Radio station on call in programmes and I transfer the topics to GN.

If you like games and want to contribute you will soon become known.

The Good Morning thread kicked off by Mick most mornings is a great way to get to know folks. Just say you are a newbie and I guarantee you will be acknowledged, perhaps not every day but you won’t be ignored.

grannyactivist Wed 22-Jan-20 22:31:47

I occasionally wonder how a 'clique' would be identified on GN as I find it hard to keep track of my own posts, so I doubt I would actually notice.

I've been on GN since the beginning, never changed my user name AND I've met other grans at meet ups in various places across the country, but I don't think any of my online posts could be described as exclusionary or cliquey - I would be bothered if I thought that was the case. sad

I don't always read the welcome threads simply because of time constraints, but I do try to be welcoming if I spot a new poster. Not sure what else is to be done really.

52bright Wed 22-Jan-20 22:34:00

I haven't found Gransnet cliquey at all. I read far more than I post but I've never felt ignored. I occasionally reply directly to someone on forums and occasionally others reply directly to something I have posted. The only thing I would change is that, again occasionally, someone will introduce a subject which others have read about before and there can sometimes appear to be attempt to close such a thread down as in 'oh no ...not this again'. The subject of the thread might be old hat to some long term members but to other members it may the first time they've had the opportu nity to share something important to them. I think that if any members aren't interested in a particular thread, however often it's been aired,they should just scroll on by. This hasn't effected me personally but I have felt it could be quite daunting to newer members if it happens to them.

52bright Wed 22-Jan-20 22:34:41

affected. grin

Callistemon Wed 22-Jan-20 23:02:13

I think oh not this again could be if a thread is a repeat of something which had been found to be rather suspect, such as whether or not onesies are appropriate wear for school.

In fact, yes, they are on Red Nose Day grin

whywhywhy Thu 23-Jan-20 00:08:42

I love the site but I have wondered just how long I will have to be here to be be "part of it"! My MIL died at the beginning of the year and I did say about it and no one replied. I felt so low and sad. I don't have any brothers or sisters or relatives or friends in the area. My husband was busy with his brother arranging the funeral. My parents have been both been dead a while. I wanted someone to just reach out a give me a virtual hug. Sorry if that sound needy. I want to be a part of something. Night night. Xx

Ailsa43 Thu 23-Jan-20 00:15:10

whywhywhy a virtual (((hug))) for you from me...

I didn't see your posts but I've been a member of thos forum for quite a long time and have only posted a few times, because mostly my posts are ignored, so I know the feeling of cliqueness, which is weird because having been a member for a long time, and mainly just reading because of the aforesaid ignoring, i feel I ''know'' most of the long term people here, yet when I do post then I'm ignored by and large it's a very odd experience...

PamGeo Thu 23-Jan-20 00:33:25

I don't think it's cliquey either, I've been on GN for less than a year and have commented on a few posts without any aggravation (maybe I'm lucky).
I don't use GN everyday but I do think people are mainly lovely. They are observant, funny, informative, irritating, kind and helpful and some are really really amazing at remembering previous posts from some g'netters .
I'm glad I stumbled upon this forum and will continue to lurk like the old ladies on aunt Bessie's adverts when I'm not brave enough or don't have the time to stop and chat.

PamGeo Thu 23-Jan-20 00:38:14

whywhywhy what a sad way to start your year sad there's no hug emoji sorry ((hug))

whywhywhy Thu 23-Jan-20 00:38:56

Thank you for the virtual hug Ailsa43. It's so very much appreciated. X

whywhywhy Thu 23-Jan-20 00:39:56

Thanks PamGeo X

Grammaretto Thu 23-Jan-20 01:20:39

A virtual hug from me too Whywhywhy that does sound sad.
flowers

Nortsat46 Thu 23-Jan-20 02:42:41

So sorry I missed your post about your MIL, www and that no one responded to you. ?
Sending sincere condolences.
?

Yiayia4 Thu 23-Jan-20 06:52:01

Whywhywhy So sorry for your loss ?

Sark Thu 23-Jan-20 07:54:53

So sorry whywhywhyflowers

sodapop Thu 23-Jan-20 08:13:32

So sorry whywhywhy thanks

whywhywhy Thu 23-Jan-20 09:45:33

Thank you to everyone for all the virtual hugs. The funeral was on Monday and the burial of the Ashes Tuesday. I feel worn out. Xx

Callistemon Thu 23-Jan-20 09:54:06

whywhywhy what a sad start to the New Year for you and your DH.
Are you new to the area? I hope you can begin make some friends in your area and gradually start to feel better.

Gaunt47 Thu 23-Jan-20 10:10:46

I've never thought Gransnet was cliquey. In fact, a few of us almost derailed your first post Lara by starting a spoof clique of people who felt they'd somehow stalled a thread. Or indeed shut it down smile
New members who are unsure of themselves could be encouraged to browse through the forums to see how they develop, and what might interest them. Perhaps you already do that. I can't remember!
And reminded not under any circumstances and however inadvertently divulge personal details which could lead to their identification.

whywhywhy Thu 23-Jan-20 10:19:08

Also my little best friend, my cat had to be euthanised last November. She was 20.5 years. A diabetic for 9 years and had some arthritis. I used to inject her twice a day. I miss her so much. Thank you so much for the hugs. X

Dee1012 Thu 23-Jan-20 11:36:56

whywhywhy We lost our beautiful little cat a few weeks ago, it's heartbreaking and you do miss them so much.
Big hugs from me flowersx

whywhywhy Thu 23-Jan-20 11:49:07

It's so heartbreaking, isn't it Dee1012. Sending love and hugs to you xxx

Grandad1943 Thu 23-Jan-20 14:35:56

As one of the few male members of this forum, I was surprised in a different thread by the amount of support that came forward when I suggested that the forum required to be more forthright in encouraging more male membership.

Having greater diversity would I believe encourage far more wide-ranging debates and in that, reduce the cliques that are undoubtedly within the forum membership.

In the above, I believe that the name of the forum should be changed to "Grandparents Net" and also a logo developed that held a picture of both a man and women of "grandparent age".

We very often witness on this forum members who state their loneliness having lost a loved one, or separated from a husband or partner after many years in a relationship. Having a larger male presence on the forum would I feel encourage those in the above situations to perhaps for the first time in many years once again to grow connections with the male gender.

I am not suggesting for one minute that the forum or any one section should in any way become a " dating site", but it could well help many in once again engaging in and developing conversations and debates with the wider male presence on the forum.

That in itself could build confidence and a new outgoing in many, and thereby help reduce loneliness.

kittylester Thu 23-Jan-20 14:49:09

I dont think I could cope with a name change but we could definitely do with more men.

Having said that, we have had some 'odd' men - Frank, anyone?