What can we do to help?

I am fairly new to gransnet and have only started two threads,I received understanding and sympathy to my first and useful information to my second. To me it feels like having a large group of friends who will help if they can,so I hope new posters will not be put off if they don't get a reply strait away

How can you have cliques on GN? Anyone can contribute to thread at any time, even on threads where half a dozen political fanatics are having a ding dong or smooch conversation, it will be peppered and given interest and flavour by others less politically blinkered.

I have tried meet -ups, but didn't fit in,that my just be me.
one I went to, I glanced around and decided I'd rather join a group of complete random strangers rather than the GNers, who seemed to be in a tight enclave. so I mosied up to the table of unknowns who invited me to join them and we all had a v enjoyable discursive conversation re customs, local history, social history etc. it was v enjoyable, and I can still remember all their names, from months ago. may go there again, but far off distance. anyway I wouldnt have had that enjoyable serendipity, if I had not been attempting to go to a GNmeet-up. still makes me smile.
such a lot of assumptions about what who GN is for. on the front page it says aimed at the over 50s, but most assume its for women and grans only.

Will you know that those people will be there again to join, Wellbeck ?

yes, they told me they tend to be there most mid-mornings.

Grans can be well under 50, so maybe that's another thing to look at.

in a way, I kind of wish I could know the locations, roughly, of people who post on GN. because there are some people who write something that makes me feel a kinship, once even moved me to tears, and those are the ones I wouldn't mind meeting, if poss, if they wanted to.
but I don't want to be pushy and ask what area they are in, and anyway some peeps are not mobile.
im just rambling in these thoughts. not clearly expressed, or formed even..

That is one of the things you find out by meeting them in person. A thread suggesting meeting in a certain place gets replies from people who live near that place. When you met them you would have found out they were not really in a "tight enclave" keeping you out. They were chatting to one another just as were the strangers you chose to join instead of the Gransnetters. They were waiting for you to appear before they ordered their coffee or lunch, and probably felt quite hurt that you stood them up.

I do hope you contacted one of them to explain that at the last minute you couldn't do it - they are real people, not just anonymous user-names, just as you are.

I’d second several suggestions on here:

......The agree or like button, so that those posters who feel ignored know that their post’s been read, would be worth trialling? The downside would be that nobody might agree or like it, of course!

......The badge or colour coding for a set number of posts for newbies, so that the more confrontational posters might cut them some slack. Those who don’t want any allowances made could easily rattle off half a dozen quick posts to get rid of the distinction.

......Giving the GN Cafe more publicity, so that those who need it know where it is and what it’s about.

......Promoting the get togethers better. Some areas seem to have lots of GNers and established meet ups, other attempts to start them can easily pass unnoticed.

I have made a very good friend through GN. I knew she lived in my area, and when a catatasrophe struck her, I asked if she would like to meet up for coffee. We met and have now been good friends for several years.

I too have made a few good friends on GN and have also made some at Meet ups.
However, it just doesn't happen, you need to be proactive and make an effort, no matter how hard you find it.
Initially, I was extremely nervous at being rebuffed, but it paid off!

I forget to check my inbox, so I'd like there to be a notification if I have new mail.

Welbeck If you met someone on a bus who seemed to be exactly your kind of person, and wanted to see them again, what would you do? You would probably say "Why don't we meet for a coffee sometime?" wouldn't you? You wouldn't wait for some third party to arrange a coffee morning and invite you both to it.

In the circumstances you describe, it would not be pushy to send a post saying how much you agreed with that poster, and asking whether they live near you in the ???? area. Explain that if they do, you would love to meet up to chat more, and ask whether the poster could possibly let you know if that could be arranged - by Private Message if they like. Add that you will quite understand if they don't want to do that.

Meetups are not arranged by an official Gransnet Meet-Up Department, they are informal get-togethers initiated and organised by a few people who want to meet face-to-face. Someone has to start the ball rolling. It might as well be you!

Hetty58 I get an email every time someone PMs me.

Hetty58, if you go to your Inbox and click the Settings tab, there is a facilty to choose email notifications of a PM.

I think the first Gransnet meet-up was Scottish and North-east grannies in Glasgow. At that point in my life I was briefly living in Darlington in County Durham, so off I went and it was explosively wonderful. I have remained good friends with all those grannies ever since – and have a warmth and liking for Glasgow which I had never previously visited.

Our last meet-up was the Glad to See the Back of Her lunch before I emigrated. I was deeply touched that so many Gransnet friends shared their time to wish me good luck and remain delighted that we are still in touch although I now live on the other side of the world.

What a lovely post, Absent. A nice start to the day.

Absent your very generous farewell lunch was one of those never-to-be-forgotten occasions

Indeed it was janeainsworth my right knee has never been the same after falling down on the way back to the railway station. Bloomin’ loose paving stones

welbeck could I just say that it was very judgemental to think you didnt like the gners just from 'a glance around'.

I missed your farewell meal Absent, was looking forward to it for ages and then caught a virus that left me with no voice. Sadly I have not been able to make any meet ups since but live in hope.

MissAdventure Quote [Grans can be well under 50, so maybe that's another thing to look at.]End quote.

Grandads can be well under 50 as well, and this forum would be a far better place if more of them were proactively encouraged to become members of it.

Diversity always benefits wherever and whenever it is taken on board.

Welbeck, could it be that the Grans you saw were not being unwelcoming, but so caught up in the conversation, they were oblivious of you.
How would they know you wanted to join them , unless you introduced yourself to them?

I know what the last Glasgow meet up was like, we were so busy, noisily chatting, that we wouldn't have noticed a bomb going off.
We all made a point of checking every so often, just in case some one was looking for our group, but nervous about approaching us. It's two way thing.
I think it's disappointing and sad that you felt the Meet up was such a negative experience. It's not easy, but as I have said before, you have to be proactive and sometimes have to make the first move.

I give the impression of being confident and very chatty, but the reality is that inside my stomach was churning at my first Meet up, but I thought I had nothing to lose by going.
I'm so glad I did, I have made some lovely new friends.

I totally agree, grandad.
Apparently the word grans is supposed to mean grandads too, though, although I can't see how.

The photographs on the Home Page show more or less the same number of shots of men and women.