I am 63 and up till several months ago I gave a lot of help to a lady of 84 who lived next door. She had a lot of mobility issues and was in the early stages of dementia, got confused and forgetful. She had children but none of them visited or did anything for her for years, so somehow the burden always fell on me, even though I am caring for my disabled husband too. I used to help her with everything, go shopping for her, make phone calls, help her to the toilet, make her drinks and simple meals, give her her medications, fix household things, even wash her sometimes after she had been incontinent. She would phone me at all hours to go in and help her, phone doctors etc. It went on for a few years and became a big strain on me, even though I felt sorry for her and would never have refused her the help, since she had nobody else. I had (have) health problems myself, as well as caring for my own husband. Anyway - it all came to a head a few months ago when she was taken into hospital (It was me who phoned an ambulance) and eventually transferred to a nursing home. Her daughter then came out of the woodwork, having not been interested in her mother for years. She took over everything then. Her mum has now become apparently more confused and a bit aggressive at times, though she has " good days". The thing is - I can't bring myself to go and visit her. I know she has her daughter now who sees her every day, and she' s being looked after. But I just can' t make myself go and see her. My husband says I have no obligation to do that and I am not a relation, and I' ve done my stint with all the years I looked after her to the detriment of my own life. Also, because she is suffering from dementia it could be difficult. She has (so daughter told me) become very aggressive and distressed at times, screaming to go home. So I am a bit scared that if she saw me it might kick one of those episodes off. But I feel more than a bit guilty that I haven't visited her, after being involved with her for such a long time. It's on my mind.
Bought the wrong Hot Cross Buns 😩
Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.