Premature baby advice wanted

Oh goodness I missed 4 days, yes constant feeding until milk comes in. It's exhausting but passes

I don't understand all the concern? Baby is FOUR days old? What is the problem with mum holding and feeding her every two hours or whenever she needs it? what else is mum doing? If she was four months old I could understand why you may be concerned but 4 days? Barely time for milk to come in even. Lack of sleep? after 4 days? Some mums have lack of sleep for 4 years!

There's a charity called Cry-sis which offers advice to parents of crying unsettled babies. www.cry-sis.org.uk The new parents might find it useful.

Congratulations on the new baby!

A babymoon might help with this little one. I did it with my younger two and it really helps with getting the milk supply going. Basically, the mum settles comfortably in bed with all she needs around her including a drink, magazines, radio, phone, if she wishes. Dad can look after the house and produce meals and other creature comforts.

Then have the baby very close by and feed her every time she so much as squeaks, even if it’s only 15 minutes since the last feed. In between times, get as much sleep in as possible. After doing this for 48 hours, I found the amount of milk I was producing had increased noticeably and the baby was much more settled.

You can do it any time, not just with a newborn, if you think their appetite has suddenly increased,

I agree NotSpaghetti that support can be patchy, but it IS there and often it's a question of knowing who to contact for support. One of my daughters fed her first with no issues at all, but number 2 and number 3 were problematic and she received a great deal of high quality support. I belong to a local LLL Facebook group and I am in awe of the quality of support they offer

GrannyLaine you are right in an ideal world but sadly lots of local midwifery teams are really stretched.
Two of my grandchildren born in the last 18 months (one first one second baby) were ‘difficult’ feeders. One had been in NICU and tube fed there and the mum had no midwifery support to speak of at home. I think that without La Leche for her and the Independent Lactation Consultant for the other, even with great family support both would have struggled no end.
It does really sound like Dove’s grandchild is doing well though and as you say - the parents are “shell shocked”.

Sometimes we just need to know what’s normal - and often it’s better to hear it from someone outside our immediate family.
Good luck to you all.

Chardy, this baby is only 4 days old. There is no indication to express at this early stage for the reasons it has been advised upthread. Lactation as you probably know very well is a biofeedback loop and the right amount of milk is produced for the baby in response to that baby's suckling. At 4 days the milk is generally just coming on. Further along then expressing can be great if it's necessary. Just not at this stage for this baby.

DGD was prem and 5lbs. She was a monster baby in neonatal ICU but obviously not as developed as a 5lb full term baby.
Mums expressed milk (they'd gone home by then), and it was topped up with formula (I assumed special formula). So all the babies were using a bottle, and some bottle and breast.
(I'm a bit of a breast milk obsessive, but I've never heard anyone say not to express)

NotSpaghetti yes you're absolutely right about the water. But at this stage if she's in the UK she will be supported by the Community Midwifery Team, including breastfeeding support, particularly with such a small/ prem baby. LaLeche League is also extremely good for breastfeeding support and is a free service. But the feeding sounds fine, its just that the parents are shell shocked!

If they need lactation support, Doves I suggest you “treat” them to a session with a lactation consultant?
If they are amenable then it should at least help them relax about their situation. I think those of us who fed our newborns hourly will understand their pain!
Here’s a link to the NHS page regarding support. And congratulations to you all.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/breastfeeding-help-support/

No, please don’t express or feed water. This baby is SO young and feeding Ok. The parents are just exhausted.
Pumping changes the flow of milk. The baby is already sicking some up so increasing flow out of kilter with baby’s needs is a recipe for disaster!
Breast milk is 88% water. Don’t fill up a tiny tummy on more water which in any way can risk sodium dilation which is really dangerous inducing seizures and worse. No baby should be having water till after about 6 months.

Maybe the baby is thirsty and needs water.
Milk is a food.
I only say this as a friend of mine many years ago made the mistake of not giving her baby a drink and suprise suprise baby settled.

Have they tried swaddling the baby when they try to put her down?
Old fashioned maybe but my daughter and her partner were amazed how my granddaughter settled better in the cot when I showed them. She was about a week or two old.
Agree about lying baby on something that smells of mum.

Tell her it's ok for it to be like that and the baby will be making her produce more milk by being attached so much. Always have a teeshirt or something smelling of mummy for when daddy holds her.
There's a FB support group with trained lactation consultant - No Milk like Mama's which she could join if on FB as you can ask things and get advice. Also check the baby does not have a tongue tie. See youTube videos on how to do this - it's easy.
The heartbeat app needs to be on loudly to work properly. There is a soft cuddly toy called My Hummy which has different heartbeat sounds which can play for 20 minutes or all night if needed which is excellent. Both DDs have them. It has batteries AAA which are easily replaced.

Thank you gilly☺️

I know the feeling too with a child that didn't stop crying for what it seemed like 12 months. Although she was 6lb 4oz born, she lost a lot of birthweight and I brought her home at 5lb 8oz.

Because there were no " gadgets " to make things easier in the early 60's, I used to make a hammock by slinging a long scarf around my shoulder and H fastened it at the back. Baby was then quite happy being carted around in a" sling "while I got on with things.

It's a bit soon to be expressing at such an early stage, baby only born on Monday and milk supply will only just be sorting itself out.
Paddyanne, I agree about the wrap /. sling, keeps Mum & baby together

Let your daughter know it’s ok to be absolutely frazzled by this -My youngest is 5 months old and we are out of the haze now! It’s easy to forget how rough it can be, think that’s nature’s way of enabling more than one child. I had definitely forgotten after my first!

Thank you all so much for your advice, hadn't thought of the t-shirt thing, that is another one we can try. Also, the feed with one express with the other a good idea. There will be a picture when every is calmer.

I used to feed one side and express from the other, that way it upped my milk supply and there was milk for when I needed a longer sleep. Wraps are a life saver and taking off your t shirt to lay baby on. Every 2 hours seems a bit harsh to me as I always fe on demand, even the little ones. Maybe once they are sure baby has gained weight they can stop doing that.

Congratulations

How gorgeous he is susan56

All really normal behaviour at this stage. Parents can take turns sleeping and slowly experiment with different aids and ideas to help baby feel settled when put down.

It’s tough but they will get there.

A sling is good, only thing that worked well for me with second baby. In the Welsh valleys you would wrap a huge shawl around you and the baby and mother would walk around like that doing stuff. I remember my aunt doing it with my cousin when I was a child. I also had the basic baby chair ( before rockers came out) and would sit rocking it with my foot whilst I drank a cup of tea

40 odd years ago 5lb was the discharge weight from the special care unit, so while it's small it's not a bad weight. At least they have each other for support. I am sure that things will settle down sooner rather than later. All you can do is to be a reassuring voice at the end of the phone. I would not be constantly checking, might make them more anxious. But they will get into a routine and things with settle.

Firstly huge congratulations on the arrival of your precious little granddaughter Doves

Both of my children were born around the 5lb mark so I totally sympathise with the feeding every 2 hours. Sometimes it would take them best part of an hour to feed and then they would sick it all back up again. I just put up with it with my son as I was very young and a single mother but I had a sling (as recommended by Paddyanne) for my daughter. Just went about the house doing whatever . Worked a treat .