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lonely in lockdown

(14 Posts)
east12 Tue 28-Apr-20 22:43:16

Anybody else feeling the same, I do not have many friends but am a member of the WI and also do voluntary work which has now come to an end for the time being, I was ok than as has something planned for each day but am feeling really lonely and sad at the moment even though I go for a walk everyday.
Any suggestions as what to do.

Curlywhirly Tue 28-Apr-20 22:49:46

Do you have a friend or family member who lives nearby? If so, you could meet them in a nearby park, observing the 2 metre distance, and go for a walk 'together'. As long as you have enough space to keep a distance from others, you are within the law.

Esspee Tue 28-Apr-20 22:57:52

Phone someone you know, in fact why not give everyone you know a call to see how they are.

annep1 Tue 28-Apr-20 23:12:50

My friends neighbour was feeling lonely and told her she would appreciate a chat. So friend went to the garden gate and chatted.
Perhaps ring or email one of the people you know and say the same. It's not a crime to feel lonely and many of us do. I have told people and now my son video calls me regularly.
Its very difficult getting through this. Sometimes I just have a good cry and then make myself get on with it. (And yes I know there are people really suffering)
I'm going to see if there's an online course I can do.

Hetty58 Tue 28-Apr-20 23:30:09

I'm fine in my own company but I saw Miriam Margolyes on TV saying it's torture for a sociable person to isolate alone. She sits on her doorstep and chats to passers by!

ValerieF Thu 30-Apr-20 17:51:15

east12 Sorry if this blunt but I don't really know how your situation is different from people who have lots of family and friends? Non of us can socialise at moment. Nobody sees friends and family.

What I am doing is on my daily walks, appreciating so much of the area am in. Looking at houses and gardens, architecture I've never taken time to look at. Wandering into streets/areas never seen before. All the while avoiding other people of course. If you aren't able to walk much, but you have internet as you do, log onto online keep fit sessions, join groups you would never normally think about. Take up a hobby you never had time for, learn another language? Read books - can still be bought!

We are very fortunate in this day and age of the internet.

No need for anyone to feel isolated or lonely. Just needs imagination, and positive thinking.

SalsaQueen Thu 30-Apr-20 17:55:06

Is there a friend you could visit, at a distance? I saw one of my friends for the first time in 2 months the other day - she met me in her garden and we sat about 10 feet apart smile

Whitewavemark2 Thu 30-Apr-20 18:09:20

east12 I can understand how you are feeling and why you are feeling sad at the moment.

Honestly I think your feelings are perfectly natural and normal for what is proving to be a marathon rather than a sprint.

You don’t say if you have any family so I assume that you can’t pick up the phone to chat to them as those of us with a family can.

What about your WI friends? I’m sure that if you phoned another member she would be more than happy to strike up a phone friendship and perhaps a social distance walk. I certainly would.

Let’s hope that how you are feeling today will only last for a short time and you feel more optimistic soon

annep1 Thu 30-Apr-20 23:31:23

ValerieF how unsympathetic. This lady lives alone. She is therefore in a worse situation than those of us with partners or family living with us for a start. And has no family close who could chat from a distance.
People have commtted suicide recently because they are lonely.
Some cope better than others.

Hetty58 Thu 30-Apr-20 23:59:17

ValerieF, I, too, have noticed, and really appreciated, so many new things in isolation. I never knew that sparrows ate greenfly - until I just sat in the garden and watched them.

I've had long and interesting conversations (at a distance) with neighbours that I've only been on quick 'Hello' terms with, in the past.

I've had time to indulge in little craft projects, try out new and interesting recipes, watched lovely films, stayed up late or gone to bed early, new freedoms to indulge my whims.

There are several, totally free OU courses to counteract boredom. There's the positive option of achieving something, however little, every day.

It really provides a feeling of progress, even cleaning a single window or sorting out a drawer.

Be kind to yourself east12, find something to do, anything really, and set little goals for yourself. This is just a phase, to be waited out with patience, after all.

annep1 Fri 01-May-20 08:02:57

Thanks Hetty.
I have just had a look at the OU site. It looks very interesting. There is even a short course Coping in Isolation.

Elegran Fri 01-May-20 09:04:40

Phone someone else who could be feeling the same. That is the advice of several people on the thread and it really, really is the thing to do.

Before the lockdown started, I used to meet once a week at the community centre with a hobby group of a dozen or so people. We would chat while working away but never saw each other through the week, though, occasionally a few of us got a bite of lunch somewhere before going home.

When everything was about to close down, the manager at the centre asked if someone from each group would take on connecting with the others regularly while we were all isolated. The manager would keep in touch with the contacters, making a pyramid. So I volunteered.

Since then, I have been contacting two or three different members each day, four days a week, as well as speaking regularly on the phone to family. I have got to know people better and I hear tips about shopping etc and chat about things that I would not have thought about had I been sealed in my own cell. I pass things on to others, so they too get something new to think about.

The thing is you have to do something pro-active You can't just sit there and wait for the world to come knocking at your door with a box of interesting people to entertain you - the TV is for that, and dead boring it can be, too. TV celebrities don't chat with you..

You get back what you give where loneliness is concerned. Why not join a local or national scheme of volunteers who are phoning lonely people at home? While phoning them you get rid of your own loneliness!

annep1 Fri 01-May-20 09:06:30

Good post Elegran

Elegran Fri 01-May-20 09:15:41

National organisation for contacting others -

As well as the national volunteering organisation, all areas have neighbourhood groups keeping in contact with local individuals. To find your nearest one, search on Google. They all need volunteers to contact people, as well as information about those they need to be in touch with - and most of us will be on both sides of that equation at one time or another.