Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

I was really excited at first...now I’m worrying.

(16 Posts)
ladytina42 Thu 04-Jun-20 19:43:10

At 53, I have recently heard that my application for early redundancy/retirement has been accepted and I shall be leaving the rat race end August. At first I was jumping with joy having been (still am) in a job I have long since found equally dull And aggravating. But now it’s sunk in I don’t know what I am going to do with myself.

I’m a loner (though I am happily married) my husband retired some time ago and has his hobbies and interests which keep him occupied but, sadly, my life was mainly work and I can’t work out what to do next.

I don’t mix well, preferring small groups and I do have my darling dog, but I’d really like to be doing something which could provide an income in the future but I just don’t know what. Have any of you retired and gone on to develop a business? Or does anyone have any general advice?

Pantglas2 Thu 04-Jun-20 19:48:02

Huge market in local dog walking once things get back to normal?

crazyH Thu 04-Jun-20 19:56:43

My daughter took redundancy this year, aged 50, much to my annoyance. She is divorced, 2 teenage children, one of who, will hopefully be going to University..their father doesn't pay a penny. She has no particular hobby. She is going to be bored. But, it's her life .......

silverlining48 Thu 04-Jun-20 20:01:51

There’s always a call for gardeners, especially lady gardeners, if you like that sort of thing.
53 is quite young to retire so am sure if you look out you will find something. Volunteering can sometimes lead to paid work too. I retired fairly early and sometimes wonder how I found the time to go to work.
Good luck and enjoy this new phase in your life.

dontmindstayinghome Thu 04-Jun-20 20:23:00

I felt the same when I grabbed the opportunity to take early retirement/voluntary redundancy at 50.

I was scared - would we have enough to live on? how would I cope being with OH all day? how would I fill my time? would I lose contact with friends?

My advice is to take it slowly. Make a list of things you've always wanted to do but never had time. Start to slowly work through it and, if you're anything like me, other things will take over and you still won't have the time!

True friends will stay true friends and you will be able to meet for nice lunches even if they are still working.

Stay in bed later and take longer to get ready for the day. After a lifetime of rushing to get up and out for work its very pleasant to take your time in the morning.

Enjoy the small things, fresh air, sunshine, days out etc

If you have family they may well start to take up more of your time - but beware of becoming the free childcare! You could end up with less time and more constraints than you had when you went out to work.

I have never missed work - not even a little bit!

Good Luck

jacq10 Thu 04-Jun-20 20:47:48

I retired quite early as my late DH was a good bit older than me and enjoying his retirement but started to get a bit bored so DD suggested I tried temping. Thought I was a bit long in the tooth for that but registered with a few agencies and was offered various positions. I always took on positions that were definite short term but still managed to get offers of making some permanent but I never did. Latterly I did ?????? dog sitting by registering with a lovely lady that had taken a franchise to run a home-from-home for dogs needing looked after (holidays, hospitalisation, etc.) and met some really nice people and great dogs. Did this for about five years before DH became really poorly and I couldn't take the responsibility anymore. I think you will find there are a lot of possibilities for you and the best bit is you can pick and choose what you do!! I can PM you the name of the dog care franchise as it covers the whole of the country.

sodapop Thu 04-Jun-20 21:14:03

Don't rush into anything Ladytina42 take a bit of time to relax and do some of the things you didn't have time for when you were working. Then you can look around for business opportunities at your leisure. You have earned this retirement so enjoy it for a while.

Furret Thu 04-Jun-20 21:57:30

A good friend retired from a boring but stressful job and looked around for something else ‘just for fun’. She is now a manager of a charity shop with a team of lovely volunteers.

This may not suit everyone of course, but the point is she wasn’t interested in the money (she had a good works pension) but like you needed something to occupy her. So take your time after all this and go for something you enjoy.

Floradora9 Thu 04-Jun-20 22:21:53

I remember my boss ,who was made to retire early ,bemoaning the fact that he had no idea how he was going to fill his time . Once retired he soon found plenty to do but find something like working in a charity shop and you will still feel you have a role in life . Worst part of being retired is that you just become somebody's wife or mother or grandmother. not someone in your own right.

Jane10 Thu 04-Jun-20 22:44:43

Contact Royal Voluntary Service. They have all sorts of interesting volunteer jobs. Just a few hours can give your week some structure.
Just a thought. Don't rush into anything. Try finding your nearest GN meet up once we're allowed out and about more.

Nansnet Fri 05-Jun-20 04:15:58

I retired at 53, not by choice initially, but because my mother was terminally ill, so I took sabbatical leave from work to take care of her. When she had passed away, I decided that I needed some time to myself before going back to work. However, I enjoyed my own time so much that I never went back!

I love my own company, and I never really get bored. There's always something I find to do. And, I find that because I'm not tired, or stressed, from working, I enjoy time with my husband and family more. I've gradually added a few more daily activities to my life that I simply wouldn't have had the time or energy for when I was working.

Take things slowly ... try new things out ... and you'll eventually wonder how you ever had time to go to work!wink

Loislovesstewie Fri 05-Jun-20 05:21:04

I retired early and don't work! Hurray! I have no advice about starting a business but can say I am the happiest I have ever been . I don't have to do anything if I don't want to; I can do whatever I fancy . No stress ( I had that by the tonne) , don't do anything for a while , just enjoy have TIME because that is a commodity that you can't buy. Enjoy life, the small things that you have probably missed by being busy.
If you find something , business wise that you would like, fine , but if you don't need to work try volunteering , or what about an OU course?

Hetty58 Fri 05-Jun-20 05:46:48

ladytina42, I retired at your age and I'm a loner too. I've never regretted it. I don't miss teaching and I've lost all interest in returning. It's a very enjoyable second childhood.

Don't even think about 'replacing' work yet, instead, think in terms of recharging your batteries. Give yourself time.

Follow or try hobbies and interests, reflect on what your work prevented you doing in the past, (it's time to catch up) read a few books, listen to music.

Don't dive straight in to study, volunteering or socialising just because other people do. You have the golden opportunity to do things in the most pleasurable way, (your way) not the most efficient.

I've had to fight against the feeling that I should 'make myself useful' (instilled in childhood) and choose, instead, to follow my own moods and inclinations - it's wonderful!

Grandad1943 Fri 05-Jun-20 07:26:37

In 2013 my wife and I sold our business to three members of the staff who had been with us since we formed the company 2013. I remained in an advisory role with the company while my wife continued in overseeing the accounts for the organisation.

The above gave us both much more time to carry out a number of things we had always wanted to do which involved long haul holidays etc and more time for our group of lifelong friends.

However, for someone like myself who had continuously worked very long hours since the age of fifteen, life always seemed to be "not quite busy enough"

In 2015, one of the partners in the business had a very serious traffic accident from which it soon became clear that he would never be able to work again in any capacity. We therefore bought out his share of the company to provide future security for his wife and family, and I found myself once again "back in the saddle.

At the age of seventy-seven, I am still engaged with the everyday working of the business which has grown enormously over the years, but we both feel we have found a balance in our lives of both purpose and free time.

Retirement after a long life of working can be wonderful, but it needs to be thought through was our experience, so as to maintain a sense of motive. For when suddenly those long working hours are gone there is a very large void to fill.

Grandad1943 Fri 05-Jun-20 07:40:58

Apologies should read "since we formed the company 2003. In my post above. 🥴

Urmstongran Fri 05-Jun-20 07:51:17

I retired at 60y. Almost 6y ago now. I get my state pension next month.

No regrets. No urge to ‘fill my time’. I take each day as it comes and am grateful for the good health I enjoy to do whatever takes my fancy. Which sometimes isn’t a lot! I read voraciously, go for walks, catch up with friends and family. Life is good.

#lazygran