Older grans! Can you tell me something about 1940s weddings?

My parents married in 1943. The dress was borrowed but I've still got my mother's head dress of wax orange blossoms. My father wore his RAF uniform. No bridesmaids. I have a photograph of the pair of them in the garden and a group photo with her parents and a small group of relatives. My father's mother didn't seem to be there (his father was long dead) but with 10 children I don't think she went to any weddings.

I believe they managed to scrape together the coupons to have icing on the cake. The wedding night was at The Strand Palace Hotel in London - dead posh!

My parents married in 1942. Mum's dress was borrowed, the bridesmaid wore an evening dress. Film was in very short supply so we only have a few snaps and one formal portrait, which appears to have been taken against a plain background, no idea where, as you say very odd.

My grandmother's wedding in 1907, they lived on a farm as my G grandfather was a Hind.
My parents married in February 1940 but there were no photographs despite my father owning a camera.
There was thick snow and my mother wore an ice blue velvet long dress with no veil. I think she believed she was too old to wear a white dress, well she was thirty.
No honeymoon due to it being wartime but my parents had travelled to Norway in the weeks before war was declared, I think my father anticipated what was going to happen and a honeymoon was out of the question.

Elegran, you could be right about the young man being related in some way, but my father had only 1 brother, and it`s not him, and the best man, my father`s cousin, was an only child. The mystery goes on...………….!

when you think of all the fuss and great expense, such that people seriously say they can't afford to get married, these days.
what they really mean is can't afford a big blow-out on the wedding day.
to me it seems a total waste of money; some spend 20k plus.
i wonder if anyone has researched the inverse ratio of cost of nuptials versus length of union.

My Aunt is 96 and was married in early 1946. Her sister was older so she married first in November 1945 I'm sure that in both cases only two photographs exist.

They had photos of just the bride and groom framed by the church porch. The other is a group photo with the bridal party, parents, grandparents and siblings. No uncles, aunts or cousins were included even though I have been told they and school friends of the brides attended the weddings.

I'm not sure if other photos were taken. Maybe they were taken but only two were purchased.

My PIL married in a bomb damaged church in London in 1946. They have three photographs. The bride and groom, the bridal party ie the couple, two brides maids, bride's father and the best man. The third photo includes the vicar, both mothers, and a few quests.

All the receptions were held in the church hall with local ladies helping with the food.

My parents married in December 1939, my Dad went off to war a week later.
I have a photo of them with their bridesmaid and best man.
Other photos show people arriving at the Church.
there is one of my Grandmother (Mothers side)who could not have been more than 45 but she has such a sour face she looks 20 years older.
As they had more or less blackmailed my Father into marrying you would think she would have looked a bit happier.

grandtanteJE65 I have a wedding photo taken of my inlaws wedding in 1929 in which the clothes are almost identical - even the bride's veil and head-dress!

callgirl That anonymous young man is very similar to the best man (eyes, eyebrows, nose, ears, hairline, shoulders), and to a lesser extent to the bridegroom, so I would say he is related, perhaps a younger brother of the best man, acting as an usher at the wedding?

Trying hard to post a 1945 wedding photo but soar defeated by tech!

What a wonderful descriptive letter to have JackyB.
My DP were married in November 1939 in St Pancras Registry Office wearing smart but quite ordinary clothes. There are witnesses in fur coats.
There is one photo taken outside. None of their parents were in England so none came. Everything was blamed on the war in those days!
I don't think they had a honeymoon -possibly a night in a friend's flat or an hotel. He went back to join his regiment in Wiltshire and she started school teaching in a boarding school which was evacuated to deepest Somerset (from Suffolk).
They didn't live together until after the war, but they wrote almost every day and we still have some of the letters

As for when your wedding photo was taken. I think they will have dressed up another day - probably the following day- and gone by bus perhaps to the town to the studio to have the portrait done. You would have had to book a photo session.

My parents married in June 1944. We have some photos but they don't look professional, but if they aren't, I don't know who did take them. Both of their mothers are there (our grandfathers had died in 1932 and 1942), and we can recognise lots of friends and relatives from both sides of the family.

We have puzzled over one of my father's sisters not being on there and came to the conclusion that her youngest, one of our cousins, was only just 2, and people didn't go to such occasions pregnant or with small children in those days.

Both my parents wrote their life stories down whilst they were still able to. Their accounts of the wedding are almost identical. I thought some of you might enjoy reading my mother's version. "P" is my father.

Sorry it's a bit long - I've just included the relevant bits - promise!

* * * * *

(Writing about the excitement of the postman arriving whilst she was evacuated with her colleagues from work to Weybridge)

... and mail was eagerly awaited. P and I would write long letters to each other but these would take weeks to arrive, sometimes out of sequence or else two together. Early in 1944 one very important letter arrived saying that he was coming home and would I marry him? I wrote back immediately saying of course I would, and he then told me he was bringing from India some white brocade material for my wedding dress and also a ring he had made in Ceylon.

So, great excitement all round with his home-coming and just a month to prepare for the wedding. I took some time off work first of all so that we could get to know each other after four years apart, and meeting up with his family....

We were both 24 at the time and were married at All Saints Church in Leyton. P was in uniform with TB, a Navy colleague, as best man, and I wore the white brocade dress that my sister had made so beautifully for me. My bridesmaids were my sister, a friend, one of P's nieces, and her friend.

The reception was at the Wheatsheaf Hotel and in spite of food rationing it was very good. P made everyone's day, though, by bringing home tins of cigarettes which were very much in evidence all down the tables. Nearly everybody smoked in those days and as supplies were short they were very hard to get.

Another memorable occurrence was the start of the V1 bombs on that very day. ...... We could hear them coming over quite near, then the engine would suddenly cut out, followed by an uncanny silence before the explosion could be heard. At that time nobody knew what they were and there were all sorts of rumours going round. Among other things we heard that Liverpool Street Station had been severely bombed and as we were travelling on our honeymoon from that station, we were advised not to go.

However, we just wanted to get away and carried on.

When we arrived there, of course, there was no damage to be seen.

* * * * * *

They managed to get a week's honeymoon in St Ives (Cambs) before my father had to go back to his ship.

My father's account also makes a great deal of the cigarettes which were placed all along the tables at the reception. This seems to have been everyone's highlight!

My parents married during the war. My aunt had married first and my mother used her wedding dress but remade it in a much more chic style ! Following the wedding my father’s younger sister met and married my mothers young brother!
Both sets of parents (my grandparents) feature in the photographs.

Illte, the young man on my father`s right is his cousin, also best man. The older man would, I presume, be my mother`s father or stepfather, as my grandma married twice. The young man on the end? I haven`t a clue, and there`s nobody left to ask. The bridesmaid was my auntie, my mother`s sister.

I have vivid memories of an older cousin’s white wedding in 1946 and there is a photograph of all the guests to prove it. I (aged 4) am wearing a pale pink organdie frock which scratched and patent shoes and thought I outshone the bride. That cousin’s daughter was one of my bridesmaids in 1962 though in white voile with a yellow sash, not pink.

We have pictures of DH’s parents’ wedding in 1927 with only the bride’s father in the group pictures. Perhaps because he was paying?

It has to be remembered that many marriages in the early to mid-nineteen forties took place against a background of the second world war.

My parents got married in 1939 when my father who was in the army when the war broke out was told his Regiment was to be sent to France. Therefore like many couples at that time they got married quickly by way of my father getting a 48-hour marriage leave pass from his commanding officer.

My wife's parents were also the same as they got married in early 1942 on a forty-eight-hour leave pass following her father being told that his Regiment was to be shipped out to Burma in the far east.

In the above, such marriages were arranged very quickly and with so many being in the armed forces or specially reserved occupations it was a case of who was available to attend at the time, and if anyone could be found to take any photos.

Many newly married couples then did not see each other following such marriages for many months if not years. My wife's father was sent out to the far east in 1942 and those two never seen each other again until he returned home in early 1946.

Of course, sadly some would never return home ever again.

Truly wonderful stories everyone!

I'm in the US, there are no parents in wedding photos from that period, but the wedding photos earlier than that include the parents-

Your last sentence Illte - how many times have I asked myself that question!

Wow! Thank you everyone. It seems to have been an individual choice rather than a set convention. But obviously from some of the posts the brides mother didn't figure heavily like she does today, the father who gave her away was more important.

Do you know who they all are in the photo callgirl? Lots of men and no female parents there.

I'm so glad I posted. It's fascinating reading all these stories. I just wish I asked more and listened more when those members of my family where still alive.

This is my parents wedding photo, January 1942.

Parents honeymooned in Torquay in The Grand Hotel. War had been declared so a U.K. holiday was in order, Dad was drafted almost immediately they returned, he spent the war in India so they didn't see each other again until 1945.

My parents married in October 1939.

I have the wedding breakfast menu at 3/6d a head. Mum married in white with a massive bouquet of red roses.

So in the wedding photo is Mum, Dad, bridesmaids and Brides father. That’s the main participants isn’t it?

When may parents married - 1938 - no one really flew anywhere but during the 30s when jobs were so scarce one of the jobs my Dad did was being a photographer - he did a variety of things and sometimes was sent to places - he went to Jersey and took a photo of the then Prince of Wales. He loved it so much he was determined to rake my mother there. They did not go then as it was feared that U.K. would soon be at war with Germany. They waited a year and went in August 1939! They flew there and while on holiday took the boat to St Malo and also visited Dinard. They arrived back in London the day or so be before war was de larked.
They never went abroad again but it the trip had great memories for both of them. I was always amazed my father got Mum to go as she would not even go on his motorbike with him. She did ride on the back of the tandem though with me on a seat behind her. I can remember some lovely outings with them and Mum wearing slacks!

Mine married in the late 1930s. Parents, best man and bridesmaid in the photos, except that my maternal grandmother was a widow. She gave my mother away. My grandmother worked as a professional photo colourist and she has coloured the photos. We have a lot of examples of her work.

What a fascinating thread. My parents married in 1944, no photos of the actual wedding, only one of them on the prom at Blackpool where they went for a couple of nights before Dad had to go back to the RAF station where he was based. In the photo he’s wearing his uniform and Mum is wearing a suit. I’m pretty sure that’s what she must have worn at the wedding too.
What I do have is a wedding breakfast menu (from the Grand Hotel in Manchester) signed by all the guests - about 8 in all.