Where to start, Ds got married a few years ago-was inbetween jobs than, he is a graduate with a masters degree, dh is self employed, he would like ds to take over the business but he is not interested, dil was working at that time but gave up when baby along, and now does not want to work.I have told dh many times to stop paying if it bothers him that much- at the end of the day I get the brunt of it, but whatever reason he has not done it, he thinks dil will leave if he stops paying. started again as I had gs all day and had to take him home, he wanted to know why he could not stay with us and said I was being used, if he not allowed than I should not look after him, I love to spend time with him.