The main difference that I’ve observed, is that where I would consider myself not racist, my son & dil talk about the importance of being actively anti racist.
They’re both very quick to ‘call out‘ racism as soon as they hear it. I’ve seen both of them challenge racially stereotypical statements, saying that they will not allow their son to grow up thinking it is in anyway acceptable. I would not have had the confidence to do that, I would have told my ds once we’d left that what was said was inappropriate. Is the instant shutting down of it when they hear it going to be the difference?
For what it’s worth they’d also both insist that black people can’t be racist. Prejudice, yes. But the power structure isn’t there to support and exasperate it. The example used was the study that black patients are only half as likely white patients, displaying the same level of pain, to receive pain medication. So even if a white patient is denied pain medication at the hands of a prejudice black healthcare worker, the racist bias that already exists in the hospital means that they’re twice as likely to get the next time they ask.
I don’t necessarily agree, but it certainly was hard to argue that the black patients were disadvantaged from the outset.