I don't want to leave LO overnight yet

Hi
i totally agree with you. Dont leave the LO not for a long while pandemic hasnt helped but the dog in my opinion is a problem. You are doing the right thing explain to her but dont give in.

Can I just add, your sweet darling baby would sense the changed atmosphere, therefore, he might not settle at bedtime, if he's crying a lot due to this said dog would get agitated.
I am fully behind you on this one.
My MIL, I have to say this is many years ago as she has passed a while ago.
But she would just turn up, I would hear the door open & the call of "I've just come for the weekend".
Argh! She thought it was quite alright to just turn up without asking, in fact some times I would return home from shopping & find the front door unlocked, there she would be fussing around in my kitchen.

As someone with an unreasonable and bullying MIL, whom I have tried to placate on many occasions. I have discovered that I would have had an easier time if I had stood my ground.
Give her a choice of accepting YOUR Way or NO Way.
Also stipulate that the dog must be locked up if you are visiting. It is your child.
Bad behaviour whether from pets or people is not acceptable. It will be hard, but will reap rewards in the long term. I got no where with my MIL until I stood up to her.

I wouldn't even be ok with day trips if they included the dog. Take a hike is putting it nicely.

I love dogs, even the grumpy ones, but I still worry about dogs, unused to children, being near children. And not just the very little kids, I mean primary age children too.
Another concern is people getting a dog, but not thinking things through. For example terriers. Terriers are little and trainable (ideal for a downsized house or flat). But they were bred to hunt rats, they're fearless, Neither attributes mean you want them near children. So if you have grandchildren staying, or hope to have grandchildren, why get a terrier?

I agree with Missadventure why would want a one year old who doesn’t know you well staying overnight! Heavens it would be a nightmare,,the woman is an idiot

You are absolutely right. End of conversation!

Do NOT leave your precious little one anywhere with an unpredictable dog. And as everyone is pointing out, your MIL has no idea about your baby's needs and routine. Not at all unreasonable to say so directly. Please be firm and clear about this

You're being totally reasonable. I'm a Grandma & can truly say having a young grandchild to stay overnight isn't on my agenda.

Grandma's are very competitive and want to tell all their Granny friends about little ones having overnight stays. I value my sleep! Once the little ones are asleep in bed, there shouldn't be any interaction so what's the point.

The whole joy to me of grandchildren apart from the obvious is that their parents are responsible for the mundane stuff. Having seen my sons tired face on facetime yesterday, having been up for 2 hours at 3am with his 15 month old last night......

Apart from a snappy dog, you're the parent and its your decision. You sound very sensible and reasonable. Well done!

I’m a Mum of three grown up daughters and have two amazing grandsons. My time with these boys is a privilege for which I’m truly grateful and I absolutely adore them but I don’t think it’s fair of any grandparent to demand their grandchildren, I certainly didn’t hand over mine so they can play Mummies and Daddies.

Tell your MIL to grow up. I would never, under any circumstances let anyone dictate to me what I should or shouldn't do with my child. Nor would I go somewhere with an aggressive dog in the same room. You would have no say over how the dog is controlled if you weren't there.

No no no - Explain to your MIL that your baby is far far far too young to stay away from home anywhere but that you are happy to have them join you for day trips etc but bedtime is bedtime - at home and with Mummy.

Just invite you MIL to your house but do not allow her to bring the dog.

I did have my grandchildren to stay from a very early age. My daughter gave me a huge list of instructions the first time and I have a lovely photo of me showing the list to my granddaughter and telling her that she was not following the instructions!

No you are most certainly not veing unreasonable. Your concerns are genuine and I think that it is your MIL who is being unreasonable. The dog alone would make the whole thing a big NO from me. Your in-laws may have the best of intentions however they clearly haven't really thought it through and their refusal to restrict the dog other than with a muzzle is very worrying when your son's safety and welfare should be their first thought. Stick to your guns - your son is your responsibility - your in-laws aren't! They'll get over it and hopefully in the fullness of time as your son gets to know them better in your company, the situation will sort itself out. It isn't the dog's fault but she needs to be trained/restrained and never left alone with a young child. I have nine grandchildren and have always had dogs, none of whom ever displayed any vicious tendencies, but have never EVER left a dog alone in a room with the children until they were in their teens. Just not worth the risk and your MIL should realise that. If she is so besotted with the dog that she can't see the problem then that particular aspect will be a tough nut to crack I'm afraid. Wishing you and your husband and little boy well x

Meant to say ... you should NOT be made to feel that way

Absolutely no way are you being unreasonable... you should be made to feel that way !
Regarding the dog ! Whoaaa THAT in itself is good enough reason to not allow your son to sleep the night, I can't understand the MIL putting this pressure on you like this, if you have said "no" then that should be the end of it !

Stick to your guns

Definitely don't put your child at risk. As Plunger says, NO DOG can be trusted with a child. We have friends who were accustomed to looking after a next door neighbour's dog while they went on holiday. The dog was used to them, and the house. However, one evening dog was unaccountably out of sorts, went up to their small child's bedroom (she was fast asleep, but the door was open) and bit her face. She needed plastic surgery.
Another friend's young son wad badly bitten just by delivering a card to the house of a neighbour. Again, the dog was a known quantity.
Stand up to your MIL. Spell it out why. And yes, a one year old is far too young to be left overnight. His needs are paramount,and have to come first both now and for many years to come.
Be strong.

Not unreasonable. I didn’t leave my DGC with them until they were in junior school because of their dog.
Even without the dog, I can’t understand why they’re asking.

I agree, with past comments, in no way would I leave a one year old with your MIL, especially with a vicious wee dog, I'd be having kittens.
Could you perhaps suggest that she comes & stays overnight with you, that way she can get to see your routine & get to know baby a little better.
If that's not feasible then I'm sorry she just has to accept that your the parent.
That dog sounds as though it should be muzzled all the time, I don't think I would even go to her house at all as I've been bitten many years ago but don't trust many dogs.
Tricia

Please don't leave your baby anywhere there is aggressive dogs. I have seen the awful injuries caused by dogs in my job as a nurse.

Definitely stick to your guns! Where will the dog be during the night? Will it be confined to the kitchen or other room? Will it have a muzzle on the whole time child is there? All these things must be sorted well before child stays even during the day as no dog can be trusted with a child. Could MIL be trusted keep her word re the dog if she agreed to muzzle etc

She needs to respect your wishes, try not to worry about her, you are doing what is best for your baby

You are being utterly reasonable and a good mother. I would never have left a one year old overnight with anyone - too young to be away from parents. The child's needs are paramount. Sorry you have this demand ot deal with but do not give in - a disgruntled adult is not important when weighed against a distressed young child. I hope you can have a good conversation about this and the disgruntled grandmother can come to see that you are doing whats best for your child - and that she can do that too, by accepting your choice gracefully.

My grandchildren have all stayed and still stay (now ranging 8 - 16 years) regularly overnight since they were very young... however there was no pandemic and I saw them at least twice a week, nor did I have a small snappy dog. It would be no from me under the circumstances, your little one is your top priority and I'm sure neither you nor your husband would settle if you allowed the visit to happen. Your MiL's feelings just don't come into it.

Your own maternal instincts are the ones to follow. Personally I would never allow a baby into the house with a viscous dog. I suggest you show her this Facebook chat and let her see what other grandparents think. I have grandchildren whom live abroad and we always have to gently reassure them when we make our annual visit because we as adults are aware that we are ‘strangers ‘ to them.