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Would you refuse cancer treatment?

(125 Posts)
Bluebellwould Tue 13-Oct-20 01:01:27

I have been invited for a colonoscopy as I have repeated bouts of diverticulitis. However I really don’t want to have one at all, in fact it’s quite a frightening prospect. But it’s not even the examination that’s stopping me, but the fact that I have no intention of having any operation, invasive treatment or chemotherapy if they find something bad. I suffered with my husband for 7 years as he fought stage 4 colon cancer, it was hell for him and as I am now on my own I know that I could not cope with any of that. If I do not intend to have treatment then really what is the point of having a colonoscopy that someone else who needs it can’t have, because I’ve taken up one of the appointments.
Have any of you decided, that if you were seriously ill, you would have no treatment?
I am 61, with health issues already that aren’t fatal but painful. I do not want to burden my children with any of this so would welcome your opinions, if you would care to offer them.
Many thanks

Grannytwo Tue 13-Oct-20 10:30:28

I had a colonoscopy in 2013 and was told that what they saw was a tumour. I had an operation a month Later and I’m still here 7 years later!

Please
Have it done and then make the decision. Xx

Ladyleftfieldlover Tue 13-Oct-20 10:30:44

I had a colonoscopy a couple of years ago. Not a barrel of laughs (apart from the rubber shorts with a hole in the back) but not too excruciating. The pain relief, the sedative and really wonderful medical staff, got me through. Happily, apart from a bit of diverticulitis, all was fine.
Back in 2017 I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy but no further treatment apart from the anastrozole tablet I take daily, the weekly alandronic acid tablet and two daily chewable Vit D/Calcium tablets. Because of the small size of the tumour, I was invited to be part of a research project for women over 60. This meant that I did not have radiotherapy. OH wasn’t too happy about that, but agreed it was my decision. I also agreed to have the genetic test as several of my family have had breast cancer. Fortunately I do not have that dodgy gene!

Hellsbelles Tue 13-Oct-20 10:33:26

I have colonoscopies every 5 years. The actual procedure is straightforward. I always have light sedation ( you are awake , can chat to the staff , can feel it's happening but no pain )
The actual pre clean out ( completed at home , by yourself ) is the inconvenience .
As a previous poster said ,if a polop is removed ( again painless ) it could be cancerous in the future if left.
Saying this in a gentle way - Don't let the experience of your husband mar what health decision you make for yourself , he probably wouldn't want that for you.

dragonfly46 Tue 13-Oct-20 10:37:17

I have had breast cancer for two years now and apart from the 6 months when I had chemo I have felt fit and well. I can still enjoy life although I am 74 and hope to continue to do so.

Romola Tue 13-Oct-20 10:43:54

I agree with all those who have said, do have the colonoscopy. At least you will know what is happening with your gut and will be in a better situation to make a decision about treatment. Knowledge is power!
I also agree that 61 is NOT old, and definitely too young to throw in the towel.
Good luck Bluebellwould.

Aepgirl Tue 13-Oct-20 10:44:25

You may well find that your examination shows that you don’t need radical treatment. At least that would put your mind at rest. At the moment you are thinking the worst - we have a saying in our family ‘what a waste of a good worry’.

BBkay Tue 13-Oct-20 10:45:35

I also would refuse any treatmentI am 64.I had breast cancer diagnosis 11 years ago had a lumpectomy but refused chemo.

PamelaJ1 Tue 13-Oct-20 10:47:50

I feel it’s best to make a decision as big as this one when you know what you are dealing with.
After the colonoscopy you will know. The procedure isn’t anything to worry about. The day before is! Don’t move far from the toilet.?
Have it please and then decide. If you don’t you will always be wondering.
Good luck.

GrammarGrandma Tue 13-Oct-20 10:50:23

I have had a couple of colostomies - not bad at all if you have the sedative. If I had a cancer diagnosis I would have the works but I understand it's different for the OP.

Nagmad2016 Tue 13-Oct-20 10:51:29

Having had chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments for four tumours over a 20 year period, I would not have any further treatment at my age (64). It is quality of life that I live for now, not quantity. My mother had Diverticulitis for years and despite irregular flare ups, she managed the condition by diet, and did not have any further treatment. Whatever you decide, should be the right decision for you.

HannahLoisLuke Tue 13-Oct-20 10:56:02

I had a colonoscopy three years ago and had five polyps removed. Not an enjoyable experience as had no sedative but still glad I had it done. At the time it was recommended I have another in two years but this year got a letter to say it's not now necessary, wonder if that's to do with Covid?
Anyway, please have the procedure, then you'll be in a position to make a decision. Thinking of you.

Moggycuddler Tue 13-Oct-20 10:56:44

If you don't have the colonoscopy (which I have had 3 times due to IBS issues etc) you will only worry that it IS something nasty. It might be nothing, or very minor and easily dealt with. If you have a bad diagnosis, how you go from there is up to you, but it makes no sense to refuse the examination.

Lasermum Tue 13-Oct-20 10:58:26

I had a breast operation last year - 15% chance the problem was due to cancer. I am a 59 year old widow and decided not to have further treatment if it was cancer.
My “future” offers declining health and loneliness.
Without trying to sound self-pitying, there really did not seem any point in having debilitating invasive treatment to live longer.
In my case I did not have breast cancer so no final decision had to be made.
In your situation, I would have the colonoscopy so that you can make an informed decision about possible treatment.

joesdadnick Tue 13-Oct-20 11:01:57

the colonoscopy is straight forward and will most likely be clear, as my doctor put it in the pink, as you said you have already decided against any treatment. Get it done and then decide if you want treatment etc. I have turned down chemo for a terminal cancer so I understand how difficult this will be. Best to have a clear picture to go on.

Sardinia2020 Tue 13-Oct-20 11:03:20

It isn’t very pleasant having a colonoscopy but I would be brave and have it done. I am the same age as you and did have one during which they unexpectedly found a polyp and sorted it out really easily. Take the option of a sedative as it will make you less anxious and it’s less uncomfortable. I imagine your children would be devastated at the thought that you want to disregard your own health. Hope all our comments help you to decide what to do.

BusterTank Tue 13-Oct-20 11:03:23

My father in law has been diagnosed with lung cancer, he has parkinson's and early stages of dementia . The consultant he saw said if by proding and poking him would give him a better quality of life he would fight for him . As it is the parkinson's or dementia might kill him first , so he said go enjoy your life . The consultant said he may have months or even years . When the family asked would he like treatment he said I just want to be left alone . Now are spending time making memories he is happy and that's all what's matter . So the answer to your question is , if your happy not having the colonoscopy and you feel it wouldn't benefit you anyway don't do it . Sometimes not knowing things is bliss .

Caro57 Tue 13-Oct-20 11:09:31

Can understand a colo being painful with diverticulitis however if one is checked regularly the likelihood of finding a cancer that is very localised AND easily curable is far greater than it being left to become advanced and more difficult to treat. It is entirely your decision but, if one has family, it might be considerate to inform them of your decision

crazyH Tue 13-Oct-20 11:11:08

My unmarried sister had breast cancer at 80. She refused treatment. Her reason - she had a good life, no children to mourn her and didn't want to go through painful treatment etc. She lived for a further 3 years.

PetitFromage Tue 13-Oct-20 11:14:14

It is just a diagnostic test and the chances are that you will be fine and it will put your mind at rest.

Toadinthehole Tue 13-Oct-20 11:15:30

I’m 61, and would definitely have the tests. We’re still young, and you’re not necessarily going to mirror your husband. Also, I know my family would want me to if possible. I think this will just prey on your mind as well, if you don’t. Go for it, and all my good wishes.

Smileless2012 Tue 13-Oct-20 11:18:41

Have the colonoscopy Bluebellwoud then you'll know what if anything is wrong, and will be able to discuss what treatments are available to you, allowing you to make an informed decision.

If I was diagnosed with a serious illness, the treatment of which may only extend my life by a few months, but would impact negatively on me physically so preventing me from doing things I'd want too while I can, I would refuse the treatment.

Kartush Tue 13-Oct-20 11:21:50

My husband has a colonoscopy every 3 years as his father died of bowel cancer, a few times while they were in there they snipped off a few polyps that if left would probably have turned cancerous, so in a scenario like that I would have treatment, but if I had cancer and it was untreatable and all they were doing was prolonging my life with a loss of quality of life then no I would probably not have treatment. I think it it would come down to a moment by moment decision

Daffydilly Tue 13-Oct-20 11:23:46

I've just (in the last week) been diagnosed with bowel cancer. I'm absolutely going to have any treatment required and am just 6 years younger than the OP.

Am I scared? I'm bloody terrified. But I'm not ready to give up.

Hopefully they found it early, through a colonoscopy when I flagged up my symptoms.

seadragon Tue 13-Oct-20 11:34:47

Clearly many contributors have made valid points here about the various levels of treatment and your young age. However, both my parents refused treatment for cancer. My mother even refused to let her doctors give her the diagnosis. She died quickly and quietly at home 6 months after diagnosis and a slow decline in function largely owing to another health issue . My father had a short burst of palliative treatment only and died within 6 months with my mother and sister at his bedside. He was 64 and mum 74. He was even able to go hill walking with a friend who had come hundreds of miles to see him a couple of days before he died. I had 3 stents put in my heart in 2016 and drew up an Advance Directive about my treatment which stipulates 'Do not Resuscitate' if my quality of life is likely to be significantly impaired. I have neither the physical not mental strength to cope. I also have an Advance Care Plan detailing my wishes should I lose the capacity to express them. I am 70 now and had a fulfilling life. Drawing up these plans gave me enormous peace of mind when I went in for the cardiac procedure in 2016. The ward staff discussed them with me and placed a marker on the front of my file. The procedure had to be halted when when my heart went into spasm and they intervened to address the issue and remove the equipment but were able to insert the stents a couple of days later. DNR does not mean that medical staff will just not bother to help you. In fact their primary motivation is to keep people alive when they can.

Aldom Tue 13-Oct-20 11:37:31

It's all been said, so I won't add anything other than to send you my best wishes, whatever you decide. Daffydilly Thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome. Please let us know how you go on.