Relationship with DILs

Hating us was one of the facets of a mental condition that quickly exposed itself in the relationship, not quickly enough to stop him marrying and having a child, breaking his heart and his hard-earned bank account. Let's say she is not on the top of our Christmas card list

I am so so lucky, both my sons have the most amazing wives who I love dearly. So not only have I got 2 more daughters, they’re also become very dear friends to me. My DD loves it too as she now has 2 sisters after putting up with her 2 brothers tormenting her for years ! My son in law is lovely too and they all get on so well together. Son no2, this is his 2nd wife, and I am still close to his 1st wife too. I have been very cross and hurt by her previously but it’s all in the past now, and even her 2 babies by her 2nd husband call me Nanny, even tho they’re not mine .... so it’s all worked out well.

I dislike the term DIL and SIL, as to me it implies that the people concerned are somehow one step removed from the family. This is probably a result of my own experience as a DIL; how I disliked the DIL cards! Anyway, we have one of each and they are just family. We were fortunate that our AC chose well. I am well aware of how fortunate we are.

My husband is a big softie who gets on with everybody but even he struggled with the nasty ex daughter-in-law.

I had a difficult and unkind mother in law who would say nasty things - but only when no-one else was around. Now it is my turn to be an MiL, my rule is that if I can't say something nice I say nothing at all. and I never give advice unless asked. My DIl is a wonderful girl, beautiful, clever and hardworking, but quite reserved and I love her to bits even if she isn't keen on hugs!

Morethan that’s very sad for you and for your sons.
I too am a mother of sons. I have to admit that I didn’t make a great effort with my mother-in-law, we got on okay but she died before my sons had girlfriends never mind a wife. I often think how well we’d get on now that I understand what being the mother-in-law actually means.
We have two lovely daughters-in-law, one in particular goes out of her way to make sure we are included in everything and all is fair. We have two ex ds-I-l, one is lovely and we are still close, the other was a nasty violent person who we were all glad to see the back of.
I do tread carefully with all and believe that it’s different to be the mother of sons. Not harder but different.

So sorry morethan, really hard for you and your family. I'm very lucky, my sil is wonderful and last Christmas I had a beautiful card from him, thanking us for all that we did for their family, I was really touched.

Oh morethan .

Buying Christmas cards today I caught sight of a
‘To my son and daughter in law at Christmas’
I wanted to cry when I realised I might never be able to buy a similar card again.
My lovely DiL died this year
My difficult but ‘love just the same’ DiL told me she is divorcing my other son.
We had our ups and downs but I love them. Between them they gave me six wonderful grandchildren and they are part of my family. I hope I’ve been a good mother in law to them

Not posted for a long time and when I did was shot down in flames when I said I was concerned about becoming a MIL ?

I now have 2 DILs and am fond of both of them, both different and fab mums to my 3 granddaughters. 1 is naturally more relaxed but both love their husbands (so far).

We all get on very well, but I’m still careful about what I say and keep quiet on occasions .

I feel blessed to have two lovely daughters-in-law and an equally special MIL

I get along great with my mil.

I haVE 2 lovely D’s IL. Couldn’t wish for better. The same can’t be said for SIL, sadly. He’s a waste of space.

I love my daughter-in-law very much, and I certainly feel that she loves me.

But most importantly I know that she truly loves my son, and she is a wonderful mother to my only grandchild. I couldn’t ask for more than that, my relationship with her is a lovely bonus.

I love my one and only DiL. She is a fantastic wife to my DS and a great mother to the two GDs. Couldn’t have wished for better .

I have been very,very fortunate. My MiL was the best ever and so is my DiL

I don’t have a DIL yet, but I didn’t have the best relationship with my MIL so I have a blueprint of what not to do when my time comes!
I have an excellent relationship with my sis in law and her dad and his wife are hugely welcome members of my extended family and a shining example of how to manage extended family relationships.

?

I could never find fault with my DIL, she is more like a DD. I would do anything for her, she is kindness itself and the mother of my only GC.

ExD

My DIL is in the process of divorcing my DS so my relationship with her is non existent. I thought we had a Good friendship until she dropped that bombshell. It came completely out of the blue for DH and I.

I love my SIL and must confess I now feel vulnerable when I consider the future.

Oh me too ExD: thought we had a good relationship but when I offered some advice when the marriage broke down I was swiftly cut out of her life!

silverlining48

ITs interesting isnt it Cuppa. I dont have a Dil and it just struck me that in the years I have been on GN I have read so many posts about dils but rarely about getting on with sils.
I have two sils one lives abroad, so we see him rarely but he is fine when we do see him. A bit quiet.
The other is ok too, he doesn't make us feel uncomfortable if we visit and for that I am grateful. I dont have any expectation of them and therefore have not been disappointed. Could this in law thing be about expectation. I dont know. My dh and mum got on very well but I have no idea what mine think about me, hope they like me as have always tried to be fair and not to take sides.
Am wondering what my dds mothers in law think of them. Theres a thought. Oh to be a fly on the wall. Or not, perhaps. .

Yes, those are all the kind of things I am wondering! ?

I could never find fault with my DIL, she is more like a DD. I would do anything for her, she is kindness itself and the mother of my only GC.

I have an ex DiL.
My S and she married 28 years ago and have been divorced now for about 18 of those, they have one child, my DGD who now lives with me and looks after me.
She remarried in Feb this year after living with her partner for some time and I went to the wedding.
They have two children who call me Nana.

My S has a partner with whom he has 3 boys, it is a volatile relationship and I only see her about once every 18 months, we are civil but nothing more.

Ex-DiL is out of the picture. We don't communicate but I would if necessary. It isn't hostile, just that there's no need and nothing much in common.

Current DiL is lovely but we live so far apart we haven't really had a chance to get comfortable with each other. Hopefully we will have plenty of years ahead to do that.

I have a current and ex Dil and have a good relationship with both of them. Life happens and we just have to deal with it, while we might wish that things were different for all concerned. I have a lovely SiL too who is an excellent husband and father.