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Why do people I have not met shorten my Christian name without asking?

(47 Posts)
25Avalon Sat 19-Dec-20 12:06:00

This is happening increasingly. People shorten my name without asking if that’s OK. I don’t mind if it’s someone I know and I have given them the shortened version. I always use the full version on my official letters and meeting people officially and yet so many shorten my name when they reply. It’s a mild irritation but I wondered has any one else experienced this? Especially annoying if you don’t shorten your name I would think.

grannypiper Sat 19-Dec-20 17:39:20

My name is Greek and people never get it right but i dont expect them too.

JackyB Sat 19-Dec-20 17:19:05

Wouldn't happen here in Germany. It's Frau B until permission is given to call me anything else.

Callistemon Sat 19-Dec-20 16:47:02

Ps he's not Neville, in case that was confusing grin
But our friend was and I never thought of the Neville Chamberlain connection.

Callistemon Sat 19-Dec-20 16:45:55

Laughterlines

Born before the war my husband like a few others was given the name Neville to honour Neville Chamberlain. Shortly afterwards for obvious reasons, the family decided to call him by his second name. We always know if somebody who doesn’t know him (double glazing salesmen, Ambulance chasers etc) is calling because they ask for Neville.

The same with my DH, Laughterlines

He is known by his middle name and always has been but I know if anyone phones up and asks, in a familiar and chummy fashion to speak to "Bob", that they're trying to sell something!

paddyanne Sat 19-Dec-20 16:33:14

The only person who called me by my full name was my Dad,when he died I missed hearing it .Nowadays most people call me by it because its on Social media and they assume thats what I'm called ,like someone upthread when my name was called out at a clinic I didn't know it was me they were calling .Now I'd likely not know me by my shortened version.
My son is called after his maternal great GF's we use his middle name as his frst name has other relatives who do use it and it saves confusion .Until he started school he had no idea he was called anything else and we had to tell his teachers to use the shortened version of his middle name .My mother of course called him wee M as that was her dads name ,but she eventually realised we weren't happy about it and he got called what we had always said he would be

AGAA4 Sat 19-Dec-20 16:11:41

Doodle my user name is not like my real name. smile It is a name popular when I was born.

Doodledog Sat 19-Dec-20 16:04:21

AGAA4

I have a name of one syllable and someone even shortened that.

I am intrigued grin. From your user name I've guessed at the one-syllable name, but can't think of any way to shorten it.

Doodledog Sat 19-Dec-20 16:03:22

We are, indeed, all different, and chatting on here about how we feel about it does not indicate twisted knickers grin.

There would be no point in forums like this if people only talked about things that really anger them. I for one would have very little to say if that were the case, as I am not quick to anger, but I do feel minor irritations, and it's interesting to hear others'.

AGAA4 Sat 19-Dec-20 16:01:44

I have a name of one syllable and someone even shortened that.

BlueBelle Sat 19-Dec-20 15:56:01

My full name sounds wrong to my ears as I ve been the shortened version so long so i welcome being called by my shortened version and actually kindly correct people if they use the full one ? we re all different

Jane10 Sat 19-Dec-20 15:51:10

At my mother's funeral the (very nice) celebrant mispronounced her name. She kept saying it wrong. I couldn't decide whether or not to speak up and correct her. My sister was similarly agonised. To my shame, I said nothing as the poor celebrant would have been mortified at being so publicly corrected. She'd heard the name correctly umpteen times too. Don't know why she couldn't say it.

Laughterlines Sat 19-Dec-20 15:38:31

Born before the war my husband like a few others was given the name Neville to honour Neville Chamberlain. Shortly afterwards for obvious reasons, the family decided to call him by his second name. We always know if somebody who doesn’t know him (double glazing salesmen, Ambulance chasers etc) is calling because they ask for Neville.

Cabbie21 Sat 19-Dec-20 15:24:43

My late mother-in-law did not answer when her name was called out in a clinic waiting room. Instead of the pretty (second) name by which she was known, her first name was used. She genuinely did not recognise it as hers.

grannyrebel7 Sat 19-Dec-20 15:22:48

I use the shortened version of my name and I hate it if someone uses the full version, so opposite to the OP. I wouldn't dream of shortening someone's name that I didn't know. It implies some level of familiarity which is a bit weird.

reelashosser Sat 19-Dec-20 15:11:00

I worked in a maternity hospital for a while and realised that all the midwives called women either "love" or "darling". It feels comforting at first, but then you realise it just saves them having to remember your name.

PollyDolly Sat 19-Dec-20 15:00:40

They do it because they are ignorant, stupid or both! There's seems to be no decorum now in the way companies and establishments address people although I have to admit, if I'm speaking to my bank the conversation goes something like " Oh hello Mrs **, how are you, is it ok of I call you **" and I don't mind that scenario BUT I don't like being addressed by my forename by someone at the local District Council when they assume that I don't mind! It is nice to be asked!

grandMattie Sat 19-Dec-20 14:56:17

It is interesting that in French and Spanish, one says “I call myself...”, and in English “I am called....”. Two very different propositions

grandMattie Sat 19-Dec-20 14:51:45

Out of anaesthesia ?

grandMattie Sat 19-Dec-20 14:50:53

I have a French first name which is inevitably misspelled. Mercifully never shortened. It at one stage, in our previous house, I had to spell my first name, surname, house name, street name....
If in hospital, I say I would like to be called “Mattie” if coming out of hospital, but Mrs. M otherwise, thank you very much. All my life I waited to be called Mrs. M, and now one doesn’t grant old people that courtesy!

Grannybags Sat 19-Dec-20 14:41:48

Sparklefizz

We particularly gave our children names that couldn't be shortened, then moved from Surrey to the West Country and discovered that .... here ... all names seem to be shortened, so Lucie became Luc .... pronounced Loose ....., which she obviously wasn't keen on. A friend's daughter named Michelle is called Meesh, etc etc

Same here! My son has a name with only three letters but they still manage to shorten it!

Situpstraight2 Sat 19-Dec-20 14:31:52

My name is too complicated and no one can spell it, so I only give out my shortened name.

I know it’s an official if they use my full name.

Lucretzia Sat 19-Dec-20 14:27:28

I used to get people lengthening my name! It used to drive me mad. My father was one of the main protagonists. My name is one of the shortest you could think of. And I'm very happy with it!

I've known a few people who end up being called an abbreviated version of their name.

More than a few times we don't know who they're talking about.!

If you introduce as whatever, then that's surely how you wish to be known

Luckygirl Sat 19-Dec-20 13:42:59

Maybe they have heard others calling you that and just follow suit.

Some people used to call my OH by a shortened version of his name - they did not get that from me!

Nannarose Sat 19-Dec-20 13:40:50

I agree that it is irritating, and whilst it isn't dreadful in the greater scheme, you are entitled to be irritated!
I had friend who had Willow's problem - and I loved hearing her say to someone (she won't mind my using her name now). Why do you keep calling me Phillipa when my name is Philomena?
In informal setting I expect people to introduce them selves by the name they wish to be called, and in more formal, I expect to be asked how I want to be addressed.
And yes, I would correct people - both my father and cousin regularly do this.

LadyHonoriaDedlock Sat 19-Dec-20 13:38:29

I have a name of three syllables, and three tends to be beyond a lot of people. I like it as it; it's not all that common but not particularly unusual, but people presume to shorten it all the time without my leave. There's one particular short form of it that I really ~hate~ but that's the one they tend to use and it sets my teeth on edge. There's another short form that I encourage for those who feel they really ~must~, and another that is ~strictly~ reserved for very special friends. But encouraging the use of my name in its full dactylic glory seems to be a lost cause.