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When your child divorces

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nadateturbe Wed 30-Dec-20 07:11:09

My daughter is divorced. She and her exhusband spend every Christmas day together with their young children taking turns to make Christmas dinner and they share childcare equally.
So they aren't all selfish.

However I do sympathise. Your grandchildren aren't getting the care they should. Its important that children feel secure and loved even though parents are separating. Its good that they have caring GPs. I think you should offer to see them as much as you can manage, as being with you will provide some much needed stability.

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BlueBelle Wed 30-Dec-20 06:54:34

Is this the same daughter in law you wrote about at length two years ago ? It seems you have spent for ever having problems with her and her family

However our sons generation are pretty selfish as they think of themselves first before the happiness of their own children
Don’t blame a whole generation for your sons poor behaviour many many families work out very reasonable arrangements for their children after split ups / divorces

Do either of the parents work ? Could you perhaps have the children each weekend to give them some fun time to look forward to Presumably (when CoviD is dine) they will be at school during the week

All I would say is have them as much as you feel you can

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Summerlove Wed 30-Dec-20 02:30:15

I’m so sorry.

Those poor children. Their parents are failing them horribly

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CanadianGran Wed 30-Dec-20 02:27:37

Just be the best grandparents you can be when you do see the kids, and make the offer to your son and his ex, if you are in contact. Don't push for now, though.

My son and DIL went back and forth for a few years, it was very upsetting to us, but they had to sort things out in their own way. We kept the lines of communication open, especially with DIL, which was difficult at times when emotions are high and feelings are hurting.

Can you make an arrangement for Sunday visits, or meet at the park? Depending on how close or far away they live. Having a bit of stability for the kids is very important, and lets them know you will always be there for them. Any holidays are a long way off, and decisions don't need to be made now.

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Gigi57 Wed 30-Dec-20 02:09:06

Our son split up with his wife in March during a lock down. He just packed his bags and moved into an air bnb for the duration. He has 2 children 7 & 5 His wife told him he she no longer loved him and asked him to leave. Sounds civilised well it’s far from it. She has had a revolving door of people living with her and our son now has a new girlfriend. We had their children for Xmas Eve Xmas Day and Boxing Day as neither of them wanted their children as they were with their respective new found lovers! The children are acting out in different ways the 7yr old has become extremely grown up and responsible. The younger one has gone from a very boisterous little boy to shy and quiet. They begged their father to stay longer with us but they had to go back to their Mother.
We are too old to have the children live with us permanently but we are starting to think is there a way for them to come and stay with us when there are holidays say for longer than 2 nights? We can’t interfere as they are not our children. Has anyone else been through this? If so we are all ears. Our darling grandchildren need stability we think. However our sons generation are pretty selfish as they think of themselves first before the happiness of their own children. We have tried talking to our son but he says it’s non of our business and his children are fine. We are very concerned that they are not.

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