Code of cooking when having guests.

Just give the Veggies the vegetables and a Veggie burger, that's what I do, no complaints so far!

I love cooking for others, and have really missed it during lockdown!

Cooking for friends and family should be a joy, when it ceases to be so maybe it’s time to stop?

*One d-i-law reached into her capacious bag and brought out a large bottle of chili sauce with which she liberally doused everything
At the end of my tether I muttered, 'We do not do that sort of thing in this country' She got up and spent the next day in her room.
My son said' Mother, she finds your food too bland*

I find your attitude far more rude than hers we don’t do that in this country what an arrogant and horrible thing to say to a guest

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I’m vegan & if I am going to a meat eaters house for dinner I say that I’ll bring my own, sometimes a host will wish to impress with something they make for me but I wouldn’t want to put anyone out or feel uncomfortable when inviting me.
In your case I quite like the buffet idea.

Often the things we complain about are not really the real thing that annoys us about a situation or person.
If this veggie person was one of your dearest friends you would probably laugh and make anything she wanted.

I have very good friends who avoid gluten,dairy, sugar, things like mushrooms, high vitamin C fruits and veg like tomatoes and strawberries.... thank goodness they aren’t vegetarian! I find it an interesting challenge when cooking for them....goodness knows when that will be next...

Widgeon3 that must have been the Christmas dinner from hell, I sympathise.

Susiewoozie I'm well aware of the pros and cons of a vegetarian diet I just like to eat meat sometimes. I don't need others banging on about how much better their vegan/vegetarian diet is. Obviously not everyone does this.

Being vegetarian is hardly unusual now, so I don't really see your problem! My DH is flexible in his diet, and is happy to eat vegetarian meals when I prepare them but if he wants meat, he sorts it out himself.

Speaking as a vegan, just go and grab something at M and S if you don’t want to cook for veggies. I’m always happy to take my own food if friends don’t want to bother. It’s never been an issue. X

Oh to be simply a vegan or vegetarian! Due to an operation that left my mouth and face soooooo sensitive I can barely eat anything (baby food, school dinners?)
However I have adopted the Buddhist philosophy (not the belief system per se) in that what ever is placed in my bowl I am grateful for and say thank you and just eat what I can manage
Most friends are aware that I prefer plain cooking so are very thoughtful and while I am not allergic (except to chilli) I can always find enough to nibble at while we all chatter. After all that is why we are all there together!
As some have said, do a buffet (my (older) kids call it 'pick n 'n mix).
Our family now has several vegans, some vegetarians, two dairy intolerant, one gluten free, 3 diabetic Type 2 and some picky kids who will only eat pizza!
One niece loves coming to eat at our house as I make labels for all the food with their names on, it makes her feel special and not awkward about her allergies
Quite the smorgasbord when we all get together!
Embrace the differences and enjoy the company!

I have a few pescetarian friends as well as the odd vegetarian. Both pescetarians cook meat for their families too so it isn't too much of a problem. My worst ever experience was doing a family Christmas meal with my brother in law coming. He had recently become vegetarian so I had to do a nut roast as well as turkey and separate vegetarian gravy as I wanted giblet gravy with the turkey. The biggest difficulty was fitting everything on and in the cooker and enough saucepans!

My usual go-to is a vegetarian dish which can act as the main for the vegetarian and as a side for the meat eaters. I only struggle if they are dairy free as the dish often has cheese on top. I've yet to cater for a vegan and I think I'd find that stressful, but gone are the days when vegetarians were simply offered cauliflower cheese!

My daughter and twin daughters are vegetarian, while her husband, son and myself are not.
When I have been invited for a meal, she usually does some sort of meat with potatoes and veg and for the vegetarians a suitable option to add to the potatoes and veg.
She is used to it as every day she has to make two separate meals but says it’s easy as most of the meal can be eaten by everyone.

CafeAuLait

Blossoming

As they are guests I would do my best to make them feel welcome and comfortable, including serving food they would enjoy. I’m not veggie but we don’t eat meat with every meal.

What if making them comfortable means not serving meat and expecting everyone else to only eat vegan around them? As in my post above. Curious what you might think about that.

Why the aggression? As I said, I would do my best to make them feel welcome and comfortable. Otherwise, why invite them when you clearly don’t want them in your home.

Returning from living abroad several years ago, I was brave enough to invite 18 family members ( our children, their spouses and offspring for christmas lunch) . I was aware of all sensibilities I think.
viz.... religion: Christian and Muslim
culture: British,+ commonwealth, Chinese, indonesian
Personal preferences:
taste: none of the following: eggs, onions, garlic, tomatoes,pulses of all kinds, most vegetables ( except carrots) 2 factions.... no potatoes and no rice
texture: nothing jellyish, fatty
allergies: eggs, nuts, mushrooms, all dairy products
other medical conditions: RA, various unspecified but which precluded the eating of certain substances.
It was a nightmare. The whole family joined in the preparation but the space required for a multitude of dishes was huge
In the end, I bought the £5 (frozen) lobsters from Lidl.as a base for the starters
My 5 y.o. grandson, who up until that time had eaten only brown food suddenly decided that lobster was his thing and I had to offer him my plate to keep the peace
I had cooked goose for most of the people but a trout for the RA sufferer. He 14 y.o. daughter saw this and said had she known there was a choice, she would have said she had RA too.
So there was goose, gammon, a multitude of vegetables ( none of them plain boiled, a great assortment of accompaniments.which I had started preparing at 6 a.m.
I had thought of everything!
No.
One d-i-law reached into her capacious bag and brought out a large bottle of chili sauce with which she liberally doused everything
At the end of my tether I muttered, 'We do not do that sort of thing in this country' She got up and spent the next day in her room.
My son said' Mother, she finds your food too bland'

That was the last 'family ' Christmas I catered for. What a relief.
The following year they flew in and self catered...... and d-i l offered food to the rest of the family
Absolutely fine except that the eldest daughters wanted to eat with me as they'' found granny's food tasted better than mummy's''

Nothing so devisive as families

How sad to be so ungenerous. If they are your friends surely it's not too much trouble to offer a veggie dish or two, along with your meat 'mains'? Otherwise, as others say, don't invite them and don't go to theirs. Friendship over.

I'm assuming you are not someone who enjoys cooking as its not a problem to cook something seperate for a vegetarian. But surely if she is a friend you just ask if she's happy to eat just the veggies that you prepare, does she want to bring something herself and you rpovide the veggies or can you buy something for M & S for example that's veggie. I assume you want her to enjoy her meal with you so you won't want her to have to eat meat.

sorry buy not boy

I am a meat, potatoes and two veg person with gravy. So if a vegetarian is coming I boy a small packet of vegetarian sausages and they get that instead of the meat portion. Also if it roast potatoes I either do them in a pan separate to the meat or put some potatoes to roast in a small pan with the vegetarian sausages. I am not the sort of person who is suddenly going to learn to do a nut roast for all!!!

Whats the issue? Buy a veggie ready meal and cook for the rest.They are cheaper than cooking from scratch.

It’s not a fight but it’s sad that I can’t go to meals at my veggie friends because they can’t or won’t cater for my allergies when they expect me to cater for their diet when they come to mine.

It’s a bit of a blind spot.

My daughters even worse off because her oral allergy syndrome is more severe and she can’t eat fruit and veg at all.

She’s been lectured more than once by vegetarians who are complete strangers, when trying to find something to eat when out.

It’s not a crusade. Or at least it shouldn’t be, I think.

On Easter Sunday my son invited me to his house for dinner.
My grandchildren were there and one is a vegetarian. So they cooked a nut roast, which was so filling that I could only have a little of it. Plus I did not find it tasty at all. It came with baked potatoes, boiled carrots, and asparagus. Dessert was a carrot cake with rose cream, which was nice. When the grandchildren go back to their universities my son and daughter in law will cease to be vegetarians and go back to eating chicken and salmon.

When my husband was alive we hosted foreign students and one German girl was vegetarian. I bought a book on vegetarian cooking and there were some lovely meals in it which she really enjoyed. We enjoyed them too. She told us that at home her parents cook their usual meaty food and just give her the vegetables. When she left I gave her the book so that she could carry on cooking from it.

I kind of have the same problem. many vegetables taste bitter to me and of those that I do like, I have to limit myself to small amounts as to much fruit or veg doesn't suit my digestion with embarassing results I cant digest soy or quorn either. If it was someone I knoew well enough to tell, I'd tell them my problem if I didn't then I probably wouldn't eat at their house. Same the other way. If i like them well enough to invite them, I would makes sure the food was suitable, if not, I wouldn't invite them.
I find your "vegetarian vs meat eater comment" intersting, I wasn't aware that it was a fight or a competition.

As you say TwinLolly it does seem a bit unfair - your veggie friends do not adapt for you but you feel that you must adapt for them so it is rather one-sided.
A buffet seems the best bet all round.